We can live without compulsive eating...

I am 18 months out (almost) and I have had a hard time recently distinguishing between physical hunger, and my compulsive desire to stuff something into my mouth.  I found a little card I've hung onto from my days in Overeaters Anonymous and it talks about how we can "develop a way of thinking and acting which enables us to live one day at a time without eating compulsively."  What struck me is that it doesn't say we can develop a way of "feeling" which enables us to live one day at a time without eating compulsively.  All these years, and it was still a V8 moment for me. 

I am a moody person, and my feelings - good or bad - are temporary.  In the middle of strong feelings, especially that addictive urge to just stick something in my mouth - those feelings can seem all-consuming and it seems like the monkey is driving the train.  I just have to remember that I will am more than my feelings, more than my addictive urges.  I have a rational brain, not just a monkey brain.  I can think and act without eating compulsively.  I can do this even when I don't feel like it.

So, all this said, I find that part of my struggle is when I try to use my *feelings* to make decisions about food.  My feelings are data, even important data.  But they aren't necessarily *reliable* data.  That is why I think it is so good for me to have some structure to my eating, and I don't mean just writing everything down.  I am hungry now, but lunch is soon.  What kind of hunger?  Real hunger?  Head hunger?  Addictive desire?  Argh.  For today, at least, I see that the easiest thing for me to do is drink some more tea and trust that whatever it is, not acting on it won't kill me.  I won't starve in the next hour and a half and I have a good lunch waiting for me (thank you, Elina's Green Chicken Soup).  This is sometimes so very hard for me, but saying this stuff "out loud" really helps me focus on the job at hand.

Here's to everyone having a peaceful day with food.

 

Happy966,
You helped me so much by suggesting I eat clean for 24 hours. Thank you!
I lost 7 lbs last week & am still going strong except for a blip yesterday. I had to convince myself it was just one meal & there was no reason to loathe myself for it.
Thank you & I wish you a peaceful day too.

Good to hear from you Happy!  As usual, your post totally hits home.  My feelings in the past, rationalized me to over 300 lbs.  It is the day to day planning, and following that plan that keeps me sane and on track. 

Very good message!  Thanks for sharing!!  I am trying to get my compulsions in check. I just started cognative behavioral therapy. 

I SO HEAR you, Happy! I guess we are all searching for balance and sanity in this journey. As for me, I have almost driven myself nuts with thoughts and fears of re-gain, etc. because, of course, I have occasions where I just want to stuff my face and on rarer occasion have done it. The only thing I have come up with so far is this: I don't really think my answers lie in months of counseling (although if I find myself unable to maintain or sabotaging, I would certainly go) because even knowing why doesn't fix behaviors. I think building habits and coping strategies is the key to success for me. If I HABITUALLY, without even thinking about it, pack my food everyday, I don't end up in the cafeteria and don't have to be "strong". If I just go to the gym after work on M,T,Th,F without thought or debate...just go, like brushing my teeth, no option, that will help me keep it off and build the strong, fit body I want. If I don't have any crap in my house, I can't stand in front of the pantry and cram a handful of chips in my pie-hole before I can stop myself. I guess I'm trying to say that I HOPE I can arrange my life in a way to protect myself FROM myself when I am weak or tempted because I do not think will-power is a permanent proposition. It is transient. I appreciate you so much for "keeping it real". We are all in it together and we can and will do this...for life!

Your message is very helpful. Thanks for sharing it

Thank you.

Wonderful post!  Had an extreme desire to start stuffing food in my face yesterday after my 9-year-old son landed face-first in roller skates (so much blood!) and I was in shock long after we realized it was thankfully just a busted lip.  Instead of eating, I sat and read OH and let myself calm.  I suspect most if not all of us know what it's like to respond emotionally to food, so thank you for sharing your V8 moment and reminding us that the feelings are just sometimes going to be there - how we think and act really do make the difference.

Happy - it is always good to hear from you. I have been dealing with some of the same issues. I'm hungry - but am I really hungry or do I just want to eat for some other reason? Now I will say that I am legitimately hungrier now than I was early on, but I allow plenty of calories to manage the real hunger. I have been drawn lately to cookies and while I almost always have room in my daily plan for the cookie, it's now become a pattern and not a good one. I have to like you really stop and think about why I want to eat, and why I want to eat that particular item, and I am working on it. I think this will be a lifelong issue for me, but it is so awesome to feel healthy that I can't imagine ever letting that go again. But I need to be much more aware than I have been.

Wise words from a wise woman! Thanks for a wonderfully thoughtful and insightful post.