Post-op depression???

Some of this is just venting, but I would love to hear your experiences and suggestions.

I had my surgery a week ago. First, let me say, that food never really felt like an addiction for me, if you can believe that. Or at least, not my primary one which is smoking. I thought I could NEVER quit smoking, and the only way I was able to do it was for this surgery.  So, anyway, I have:

Quit smoking/nicotine
Quit Diet Coke (soda) and coffee  - also really hard for me, and...
Quit eating (i mean, except for the full liquids I'm on).

I have to say, I'm having a hard time. 

Adding to this is, that my incisions hurt even more now when I walk than they did the day after surgery.  3x in the last 4 days, I've tried to go to the grocery store, and was hardly able to be there a couple of minutes before I had to quit and sit down because walking made my incisions hurt so much.  So, basically, I feel confined to the couch. Which is making me crazy. I'm not having a good time trying to jus****ch TV.  I live alone, except for weekends when I have my daughter, and I'm not working. 

For some reason, I'm feeling some resentment about getting this surgery. There's this small part of me that's angry about it, having had to take such a drastic measure. I think that will eventually get resolved as life normalizes some, but for now, I can't FEEL any excitement or anticipation about weight loss. I didn't even weigh myself until this morning, because I felt like I didn't give a rat's a** if I lost any weight.

Reading used to be a big part of my life, but since I quit smoking, I haven't been able to focus well enough to read. 

I know that over the next year, my life is going to change dramatically. I know they will be good changes, but I definitely feel resistance. 

I don't know how to get myself into a different frame of mind. I don't know what to do with myself so that I don't implode from boredom. I feel totally uninterested in anything. The one thing that is helping, and I THANK GOD I did this is - I bought the entire series of West Wing when I quit smoking so I'd have something to occupy me. I watch a couple of episodes every night and it somehow helps me feel more secure/safe. 

Is this just a phase that will pass?  Is it low energy from having had surgery? Is it buyer's remorse? Is it fear of the future? Is it still nicotine withdrawal? 

I just want to cry, but it's too much effort.  

Tell me it gets better. 

(BTW I'm already on anti-depressants)

I went through the exact same thing, but I gave in and started smoking again, untill my surgeon told me that she would no longer be my surgeon if I continued to smoke. I loved my diet coke too, and it drove me nuts that I couldn't have it. I started drinking it about 3 days before I was three months out. It is really hard to deal with too, when you are in pain and don't see any dramatic weight loss. It gets a little better at three months, because you can have diet coke. It gets better after two months, because you are in less pain, and you are permitted to eat solids again. It gets better in six months, because you will feel, and look so much different!!! Hang in there I know it's hard!!! The next depression will be when you hit a weight loss stall for about six weeks. I am six months out, and have lost eighty lbs., so I can't complain too much.

I think what you're feeling is absolutely perfectly normal as early out as you are.

Right now you are feeling pain and a loss of normalcy, and have not yet lost enough weight to make the sacrifices you feel you've have to made worth the effort.

Hold on to this post and a year from now you will look back and wonder what the hell you were thinking.

The focus you're lacking right now will return.  After I had my surgery I also could not read for a while.  I attributed it to the drugs and the anesthesia but, again, this was just a passing phase.

The first month or two post-op is really not a whole lot of fun and chuckles, but give yourself some time to heal and adjust and life will become much more rewarding.

Welcome to the losers bench!! 

Charlotte, I had surgery on 3-30, so I understand.  I am going thru the exact same thing except that I used to deal with feelings with food and now I don't have that and its frustrating.  but there is hope I am told.  Yesterday I went out for breakfast with my parents and ate 3 tsp of grits and a half cup of tea.  it was nice and I felt a tad bit closer to normal.  As far as going to the store, do not be proud.  If yu get tired or have pain, get an electric cart.  I did in Wal Mart.  That plACE IS just too big.

 The depression is normal and most of us went through it.  I remember crying when watching a Burger King commercial because I would never be able to eat a Whopper again.  

Don’t ignore pain:

 Get an abdominal binder and wear it 24/7 even when sleeping.  It will help so much with the pain from the incisions. Hospitals used to always send people home with a binder after any abdominal surgery, now they don’t because of cost savings.  Either get one from your medical supply store or from http://www.makemeheal.com.  If your doctor will give you a prescription for it, your insurance should pay at the medical supply store.

 Take some liquid Tylenol for the incision pain.  If that does not relieve it, ask your doctor for something stronger. 

 Enjoy reading:

 Go to audible.com and get some good books that you can have read to you.  One I recently enjoyed is The Headleys, a great book about a modern day family in England who just happen to be Vampires.  I just started listening to Water for Elephants.  I still love books, but don’t always want to concentrate and listening works well for me.  I think you will love getting lost in a great story with audible.com. 

 Get some exercise:

 Even if just five minutes a day, moving your body will help overcome the weakness and make you heal faster.

 Smile:

 Even if it is just a painful grimace.  Things will get better.  It feels like you are living in a fog right now, but fog lifts.  The surgery will give you a new chance at life.  Getting to your healthy weight puts you on a level playing field with people who do not have to fight obesity.  It is so worth it.

Hey.. i had my surgery 2 days after you.. so im in the same boat as you...im lucky that i do have my husband and my son who support me and are here for me... i thaught i had my the wrong decision the day after surgery.. i said to myself what the hell did i just do to myself.. and trying to get all your calcium multivitamins and other meds they give you to take.. i feel that i cant concetrate on anything but to make sure i get all my liquids in.. i also have alot of pain on my incisions and i have 10 incisions i had more work done because i took out my lapband and did the bypass on the same day.... so keep your head up we will get thru this

I am a little over 2 weeks out from my surgery.  The abdominal binder was a godsend!.  The postop pain med they had me on (Lortab) didn't work for me (and typically I am a lightweight when it comes to taking pain meds).  Doctor switched me to Roxycodone (Oxycodone) and it worked great.  I did learn my lesson in listening to my body.  Kept pushing when started to hurt and took me a couple of days to get some strength back.

Are you using a variety of liquids.  If not try it....giving my tastebuds something new was helpful for me so that I didn't feel so depressed about it. 

It will get better...still using my abdominal binder when I go to bed, but doing much better during the day.  Doc just told me yesterday that I could stop wearing it 24/7.

Chin Up....the reasons you chose this will come back to you.

Took measurements today and have dropped 2" in my hips!  Look for the silver lining (hard at this point I remember).  You can and will do this!

Hang in there.  I had many of the same feelings within a couple weeks of surgery.  You might be over doing it by walking to the grocery store, but I don't know how far that it is from your home.  Don't resent it.  Part of your feelings come from a greiving process from missing solid food.  And, you're probably still withdrawing from smoking. 

I felt blah too.  I missed chewing food during those early days.  When I could move to more solid food, I was so excited that I often tried things I probably wasn't ready to try and then puked it up.  Just to get me through, I'd sometime chew something (I remember doing this with pickles) and spitting it out.  As funny as it was, it helped. 

You will start losing weight soon.  You get pumped full of fluids during and after surgery that your body has to get rid of that.

Since you say you are on anti-depressants, I'd encourage you to call your dr.  You may need an adjustment in dosage for the time being.

Hang in there and good luck.

HANG IN THERE!! The first month or six weeks we are getting rid of the aftereffects of the anesthesia; the stuff is toxic and takes time to be eliminated.

Good luck!

 Wow, what would I do without you awesome people on OH?? Thank God I found you 

I had been thinking, "I wonder if there's any kind of underwear that would help support my incisions.. they should make something like that!" Lo and behold, they do - thanks so much for telling me - I went and got one this morning.

I guess I just felt like a square peg because I've read so many stories of how thrilled people were right after the surgery, and never looked bac****pt thinking, "What's wrong with me? I should feel so grateful & excited!"  And I do. Nevertheless, this does involve losses, and those need to be acknowledged and grieved to move beyond them.

Have a great day everyone!