nattering nabobs of negativity

when the smoke clears here, i will venture a reply.  right now im just super annoyed that you presume that i havent worked at therapy grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr   

You didn't want cheerleaders. Well... I don't do that.

What I am is honest. I did not say you didn't work in past therapy. However, from your post, it's evident you have some more therapy "work" ahead of you and it didn't sound like you are in Tx now. That impression came from behavior you described. The therapy in the past may have not addressed the issues you have now. We are always changing.

After decades of observing some WLSers go down the dangerous path you are on, I'm all too aware of the potential ramifications.

The statement,"therapy only works when you work it" refers to the present and the future and was made out of concern. You can't "work" it unless you are engaged in it now. Hope you can get past that statement enough to consider the rest of what I wrote...

Good luck

I'm just guessing (because you didn't mention any other household members) that you live alone?  And you say you are retired?

Do you realize how many people  you could help if you got off your ass and stopped the pity party?  There are SO many causes out there that  could use volunteers:  Salvation Army, Boys and Girls Clubs, food banks, nursing homes, and on and on ad infinitum.

There are people out there less fortunate than you are.  I can guarantee it.  Why not get a hold of yourself and start contributing to society? 

It is the height of selfishness to lay there, stewing in your self pity, while you could be out doing something GOOD for someone.

As for the surgery, of course I think you should get it done - hopefully the weight loss will further encourage you  to get out and be productive.  And while you're going through the surgery preparation process, why don't you try keeping in mind how many overweight folks would give just about anything to be in your whiny shoes so they could have that life-saving procedure.

 People NEED you.  Get outside yourself and be a positive factor in someone elses life.  Maybe then you'll quit thinking only of your own situation and give some consideration to other human beings and their dilemmas.

I probably should apologize for being so blunt, but I'm not going to.  You need to get a grip and quit waiting for others to take care of you and  make decisions on your behalf.  Grow up and get over yourself for the sake of everybody whose life touches yours.

Careful there Amy... this is what clinical depression looks like.
It's nearly impossible to do things for others until you can care and love yourself. So, I hope Moosie will get into intensive therapy  and  attend something like O.A.now. Preaching to her to get off the pity pot may backfire. Judgmental slams don't work over the long run.

If she doesn't start to deal with her current issues now, I fear what may happen post op. Research I conducted revealed people who are very depressed after WLS don't usually comply with meds., supplements, other treatment and experience more complications/re-operations.

ah...i had a very nice answer and i screwed up with the editor pgrm on the fone and it disappeared on me.  

 

oh well, in brief, i am looking for a volunteer opportunity or 2, i can relate best to what goodkels, holly and amy posted

 

i did ask for help at a very low point this weekend and this forum responded1  im very grateful to all who did .  it really helped .  thank you

 

i did restart the nexium, and i have 2 appointments with my personal exercise trainer this week im going to follow up on the links one of you posted and again thanks to all for your concern.

 

mooosie ..truly grateful for the support. 

Doc whatever,

Sorry you felt that was a judgmental slam and preaching.  You apparently are a clincial psychologist or better yet, a psychiatrist?

I gave her what she asked for.  Read her original post again.  She appears to be a very intelligent human being, asking for what SHE recognizes she needs.  I applaud her.

Of course as a human being she is precious, as we all are.  But there are times when you just need to get grip.  She apparently KNEW that's what she needed or she never would have posted her original message.

And I am very well educated and personally familiar with extreme long-term major clinical depression.  Even in THOSE cases, it is generally more helpful than not to find some way to get out of yourself and help someone else.  Just a small amount of time per week volunteering or helping someone in some way is very beneficial as it affirms how incredibly much you are needed on this planet, and how even though you have it rough, you can HELP others that have it rougher.   30 minutes or so every few days will bring about amazing changes in a persons outlook, especially if that 30 minutes is in direct contact with those less fortunate.  It's also a damn good reason to get out of bed that morning.

My post was intended to help her, and I believe she recognized that.  She must not be as "educated" as you seem to be.

Dear Amy,
Yep, you are right about what I do for a living.
I'm sure you meant well. This doesn't have anything to do with education... I also often recommend people perform volunteer work, but only after they have some more therapy under their belts and can handle other folks' issues. Of course, she is precious as all of us are. Sometimes, when people ask for a major kick in the pants, they are really out of touch with what they truly need, compassion and increased self esteem. I've seen horrible disasters when they forgo helping themselves first and instead, try to help others. This occurs because the underlying problem causing the depression remains undressed. I don't need to read her post again. I got it. Words can be so damaging. If you say things like "selfish", etc., you may add to to the depression, not decrease it. Any ethical mental health clinician worth their salt will tell you that. Research also confirms this.
Sincerely,
DocJ 

Sorry you feel that way. The OP appreciated my response, which you can see above. Since it was her thread, and her request, her opinion will continue to be the only one that matters to me.

Totally understand about words, etc, etc. I used those words specifically and was only so blunt due to the context in which her original request was phrased.

Guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this one Doc. =)

edited because at 47 I still can't spell!

Amy R. is ABSOLUTELY right.  One of the best ways to get to feeling better about yourself is to start doing some stuff for others. 

I am not talking about doing EVERYTHING.  And, I know you still need to work on you.  BUT... helping others goes a LONG way towards giving us good self image and selfworth.