x-post, family picnic and our food needs

I'm 31 months out, and about as free-range as you can get.  There are a few things the pouch absolutely won't do, and a whole lot more things that, to respect myself and my tool, I work hard at not doing.  But generally, I can find something that works for me almost anywhere.

So Saturday was a family picnic about 200 miles north of us for a graduation with my in-laws.  They are supportive of my surgery, but still don't actually get it (frequent comments - "I don't know why you had surgery,   You weren't as big as [insert family member name here]" and "I don't have time to plan meals.  That's why they make drive-throughs" - and they're not joking).  That's ok - they try.

Knowing the family and the eating patterns, I knew that there was pretty much no way they'd have anything I could eat.  When we RSVP'd, I asked if I could bring something, and was told no, they had it under control and would even have fruit and protein for me.  I was pleasantly surprised, but still a bit skeptical, so I packed shakes, greek yogurt, fruits and vegetables in measured amounts in a cooler.

We got to the picnic.  The protein was the greasiest brats and burgers I'd ever seen, literally flaming up through the grill lid and burned to a crisp.  They were taken off the grill and all mixed with sauerkraut (burgers too) for moisture.  The fruit was 2 vodka watermelons.  There were also doritos and cheetos.

I quietly ate what I'd brought, and had a good time chatting with lots of family members.

The moral of the story is - I took care of myself, and didn't make a stink.  The family was trying to do things a way I could use, but because they truly don't get it, didn't.  There was no reason to hassle them, get my feelings hurt, or make bad choices.  I just planned ahead.  It's something most of us need to learn to do, and once you do, it makes your life a whole lot easier!

This is exactly how I handle things, too.  Whenever I am invited somewhere I let them know I don't eat things with sugar and gluten but I don't make an issue about it.  I ask what I can bring and I bring it but I also bring things I know I can have and there hasn't been a time yet that I've been sorry.  Even if there are things there that I can have with no problem it never hurts to have more and, more likely, when there isn't anything I can have, now there is, disaster averted, lol.

Thanks, Tazz!  That's the point I was trying to make for those newbies and pre-op, because it is so easy to belive that people who are supportive of us really understand our needs - and so much of the time, with the best will in the world, they don't.

Point taken and well be heeded.  Thanks for touching on this subject.  I had thought about this.  Thanks

It can sometimes be a balancing act.

My support group laughs: I have a hard-shell glasses case in my purse that has one protein bar in it.  I don't often eat them, I prefer other sources, but that bar stays in my purse until I have an "oops" day or it reaches expiration, and then I go buy one more to keep in the case.  (The case prevents it from getting crushed in my bag - you can usually buy one for a couple bucks at an optician's office).

I wish everyone who gripes or gets their feelings hurt by family or friends not taking their culinary needs into consideration would read this...

I think a lot of times those doing the cooking and planning just don't really have a clue.  I don't think they're intentionally sabotaging.

Anyhow, good for you.  I also try and plan ahead. I don't expect others to adjust how they do things for me.  I am a big girl and take the lead in making sure I have what I need in the event I need it. 

Exactly!  There are so many posts about "My family doesn't care, they served..." or "My friends don't care, they went to..."

People, it's not that they don't care or want to hurt you, it's that they don't get it.  Take care of yourself in the moment.  At a later time (honestly, if you do it then, it will come off as whining.  Trust me on this one!) explain your needs.  If they still don't get it, plan ahead and take what you need.

Yep, you just can't make some people "get-it". There's no point is stressing out over that fact. You handled it perfectly.

Thank you, my heroine!

I love love love this topic!  I absolutely do not expect my family to cook with me in mind.  It was not their choice but mine and while they are wildly enthusiastic most of the time, they truely dont know what i need.  My dad will grill a chicken breast every time for  him and i.  WIthout fail.  lol.  He is a kidney transplant survivor.  So it's automatic for him.  My mom knows we need something other than spaghetti when we get together and she has a heart of gold.  Lots of times she will bake chicken and it is greasy with a capital gr.  lol.  She sure does try and she sure does want me to succeed and for that, i will be forever grateful.  But it isnt her responsibility and i have asked her to please just fix what she would normally fix for everyone and I will worry about me.  This keeps her from getting hurt feelings if the chicken is too greasy for me to eat or if i cant have the pastas she is famous for.  What I love is that my whole family is eating better.  fat filled meat trays were replaced with low fat or fat free cuts of lunchmeat cut into pieces.  Yes they still serve regular cheese, but they also changed the crackers to whole grains.  Still avoid that tray but THEY are eating healthier!  Desserts are being replaced with fruit and veggie trays and shrimp trays.  Small changes that are adding up for them!  I am excited for them!  If i was the start of that change, great!  Even if i cant endulge in some of it, they are healthier.  And the thought means a lot to me. 

If my dad isnt grilling, i call ahead to make sure it is okay if i grill my own.  Many times i will be told no!  lol.  My brothers like to grill for me.  THey let me season it and then they grill it for me.  But i have had friends who had no problem letting me grill my own meat.  I also take a cooler with my drinks in it.  I dont do pop and beer, anything with bubbles, and things with sugar.  yeah.  pretty much anything that gets served at a picnic.  lol.  I take my waters and my proteins or crystal lite mixes and I am happy.  I dont expect others to stock that stuff for me.  However, because of my dad's medical condition, he now is a huge fan of crystal lite too.  While he drinks 2 liters of regular water a day, for supper he treats himself to that raspberry ice stuff he likes so much.  he has even frozen it and makes slushies for himself for a summer time treat.  (by the way, try making your favorite crystal light flavor...i like something fruity like fruit punch or something.....and putting it into ice cube trays to freeze.  Make the sugar free lemon aide from whoever you prefer and then use the fruity ice cubes.  Yummmmy.  And water is so important for us.  If you dislike plain water like i do, this is an easy way to get it in without the fuss. 

I take cheese sticks, turkey jerky, yogurts, cottage cheese, fresh veggies with that high protein dip from walden farms i believe.  (measured of course because my brain and my eyes still dont cooperate when it comes to food)  and of course i have a pouch of protein ready to mix into anything i drink in my purse for the uh-oh moments or the craving moments. 

If you come to my house, my children will make you meat and veggie and then fruit shishkabobs.  ever tried grilled fruit?  YUM.  great way for me to fight the sweet monster.  excellent dessert without the fattening stuff.  Also sugar free cherry jello, applesauce (unsweetened) unflavored protein powder and just enough cherry pie filling to get it some sweet makes a great summer time treat you can share, and most will not even realize you have extra protein in it.