Angry with myself...I need support

So I am on my two week liquid diet, I have lost only two pounds, struggling to not eat food, exhausted of feeling hungry and trying to prove to myself that I can do this. I am certainly having a moment, mostly just because if I have not lost enough weight and on Monday my surgeon is going to cancel my surgery as she stated that if I hadn't lost some more weight she would...hooray (insert sarcasm)

The whole trying to prove that I am serious about what I want I feel like I am failing myself and my husband and wasting everyone's time...but I really want this. I really don't have much support from friends let alone from family so I am finding that this is even harder to accomplish.

I do not know what I should do, reschedule my surgery and weigh in and save myself the embarrassment, or live the embarrassment and feel even more like a failure or if there is a way to lose some weight fast. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

how many days into the diet are you? what is allowed? Protein shakes? Drink all the time whatever is on your list. doesn';t matter how much you drink the more the better. Drinking constantly will help with the hunger.
GL

 How much weight does she want you to lose before surgery?  Ok, if you really want this, you are going to have buckle down and lose some more before your surgery.  There is no easy way to do this.  Not all doctors require this, some want 10 percent of your body weight, some want more and some flat want to see if you can lose anything.  Some want it for the shrinking of the liver, even though you will hear conflicting reports about this.  I had high protein low carbs for weeks before surgery and only liquids the day before surgery, so I cannot complain.  I lost weight and was fine.  but if your surgeon is adamant about canceling, don't give up.  You can do this!  I have heard of many who were on liquid diets prior to the surgery and that it was the hardest part..  I hope there will be those who went through the liquid diet can help you better because they truly understand.  Best of Luck!    Jane  

Don't worry; she wants the money. She won't cancel.

But yes, do protein shakes; they will help keep you from being too hungry.

 My PA had told the group of us having the surgery that if you gained any weight from when you FIRST STARTED the program (nine months prior to surgery for me to go through all of the red tape) that the doctor would cancel the surgery, even on the morning of if he had to.  I had gained 20 pounds (duh, why did they think I needed the surgery).  I lost a little over 10 pounds so I was still over the original weight from when I started.  I went in on the morning of the surgery and was never weighed.  The doc simply asked how the two week diet went and I informed him that I had lost 12 pounds.  All was good and surgery went well.  Have since lost 45 pounds and have never looked back.  It will be okay, I highly doubt that they will cancel you last minute because you havven't lost some magic number of pounds.  Forge ahead, do your best and look forward to life on the other side.  Best of luck to you for a successful surgery.  KAREN

What do you think is preventing you from being successful?

It is hard to be on only liquids but these is a light a the end of this tunnel. You'll do it, have the operation and you will not feel hungry afterwards. You will have to remind yourself to eat, it'll be strange and exciting.
Let it out, vent, blog about it, cry if needed but don't give up. Don't give in to the voices in your head telling you to eat solid food.These two weeks feel like they are dragging out but you will look back a month post-op see it as nothing.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and advice, I am scared mostly that she will cancel it.
I have not gained a single pound but I haven't lost much either 2lbs in two months...I know it is no excuse but the stress of my doctor not telling me how much she wanted me to lose (she did the first time and I was confident and dropped the 8lbs she asked for). I am biking every day 8-10 miles every day (takes me about an hour to do) I know that my pants feel better on me and my oversized shirts sag down in the front showing more than I would care to share, even had to wear a polo I haven't been confident to put on in over a year (even then I wasn't confident). 

I feel great, but the scale is not reflecting weight loss. I am praying that she wont cancel it, and I really don't think she is after the money. She is an awesome surgeon and I know she wants me to get away from the 60 BMI as much as possible to lower the risks and to shrink my liver. 

With a BMI of near 60, you really should be looking into the DS. The DS has the very BEST long-term, maintained weight-loss stats for patients of ANY size, but especially so for those of us with a BMI greater than 50. Perhaps it would be a good idea to reschedule your surgery, both to allow you more time to lose weight AND allow you time to research all your options.

I think you are loosing weight, you just can't see it on the scale.

If your pants are feeling different and you are going 8-10 miles/day on a bike you have to be building muscle.  That negates alot of weight loss because muscle weighs more than fat.

you keep working out and eating/drinking the way you are and it will start to come off.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Great place to whine and complain is here