made fun of for weight what happens after surgery?

Besides what Joyceebaby said about confronting your in-laws. I want to know why your husband isn't defending you to his family. You mess with my wife you mess with me. I don't care who you are, you may be my wife's mom, but you aren't going to be rude to my wife. you may be my wife's kid, I don't care, you are not going to be rude to my wife. I won't tolerate it from anyone. I think all men should think this way about their wife. If anyone in my family said something like that about my wife I would have zero tolerance and invite them to go to hell and get the F out of my house right now. I would cut all ties with them on the spot, immediately.

Now there are exceptions to this, My wife isn't one to take any BS from anyone anyway, if she even thinks your trying to BS her, she will call you on it. She doesn't really cut anyone any slack when she thinks they are lying to her, I like that about her! But I don't get away with too much either. So, sometimes she gets in non-consequential arguments where I just keep my mouth shut, shes a big girl and if she starts/joins an argument about the gravity on mars with someone well, I'm not going to get involved no matter how heated it gets. I don't have to take her side. But if anyone thinks they are just going to be rude for the sake of being rude, Judas Priest said it well "...You think I'll let it go you're mad You got another thing comin..."

I don't care what people say about me having surgery, if you don't put bread on my families table then you are entitled to your opinion, if you mention your opinion to my face then I'm entitled to tell you my opinion and I guarantee, when I'm done, its going to escalate. I've got pretty serious problems though so I may not be a good source of info/actions.
 

My husband is the same way. If someone were to say something nasty to me, he wouldn't stand for it. But lucky for him, I'm kind of a big mouth.

bravo! In April of this year my Husband broke all TIES WITH HIS 80 YEAR OLD MOTHER Because of the abuse she has heaped on me and my daughter for 40 years.

he finally got wise after I told him in January that I was done with her and would never see her or talk to her ever again.

.More men should view their wives like you and my husband do,

What an awesome attitude! Ummm...do you have a single brother by chance? LOL!

BRAVO!If only there were more men out there like you.  My ex-husband (which is ONE of the MANY reasons he's an EX) never stood up for me to his family and we had a lot of issues.  We'd get into the worst fights about it and he never had my back.  Full disclosure:  I didn't have his back either.  We had a horrible relationship and we were both very young/immature when we met.  I tried everything to save our marriage but in the end it all comes down to being happy and neither of us was happy.  He did a lot of ****ty things to me (and I fought back because I was incredibly stubborn and reactive) which is why I ended it.  It didn't help that my family never liked him and voiced their opinion often throughout the entire relationship.  Being a life-long heavy girl, I had little to no self-esteem and was just existing.  My family was incredibly controlling and I went from being controlled by my parents to being controlled by my husband. 

Having wls, and counseling helped me deal with my emotions and gave me renewed self-confidence and self-esteem.  I speak my mind now to everyone--doesn't matter who you are.  I've been 'cut-off' from my entire family and no longer speak to them.  I don't have many friends in real life as we've re-located to another area.  Its tough sometimes but right now I'm happy about it because I am still trying to figure out who I am and still, at almost 3 years post-op, trying to find my way.  I'm learning about spirituality now and inner peace/happiness.  I have finally made the decision, at 41 years of age, to be happy.  Its much more difficult to be positive than negative and its a whole life change for me.  I will do it though and am determined to find happiness in my life.

Congratulations on your surgery and successes.   You and your wife sound like you have a great relationship.

Mallisa

It is all well and fine that people say 'forget about it'. Often the reason why people are overweight or obese is that they generally put themselves and their feelings last. It is difficult to turn on a switch and say 'from here on in, I am not going to take it'. Some people can do it, others gain confidence by every little time they stand up for themselves. It is especially hard around people closer to you and not strangers. I have lost 80 lbs with another 20 to goal and I have to say that the biggest improvement in my life besides the health has been a renewed sense of self confidence. That has come back with every lb off. I continue to work on my attitude daily and remind myself why I have done this. It is very reaffirming when you revisit your accomplishments daily (not just the lbs lost but the psyc health and physical health as well) however small they may be. There may be a switch that turns on in you that says 'I don't care anymore', that would be fab. If it is that or the little victories, celebrate yourself. Surround yourself with people who are supportive, caring and positive. Life is too short. Good luck, you will do it.

I found that as I lost a lot of weight, my tolerance for that sort of crap has gone down to nil.

Block em, tell em off, whatever. They sound like losers, and you're far too good to be around a bunch of idiots.