I don't know where to turn

Well, it's been just over 3 years since I had my RNY.  The first year was great.  I lost 100 lbs then I got hurt at work and things started to fall apart.  I ended up with 6 herniated discs 5 in the thoracic spine and 1 in the lumbar spine as well as additional soft tissue problems.  That's where the trouble began.  I wasn't able to keep up with my exercise due to the pain.  Then along with the pain came depression,  So I started out weighing 272 prior to my surgery, my lowest weight was 170 at the time of my injury.  I now weigh 300 lbs.  I can't believe I let myself get to where I am today.  Throughout the course of my injury came medications...Lyrica, Lortab, Baclofen, Nortriptyline, prozac, abilify, xanax, synthroid, ambien, and Deplin to deal with the chronic pain and associated depression and anxiety. Side effects of some of these medications are weight gain, which I repeatedly expressed concerns about.  My self esteem is in the toilet.  I feel as if I am a lousy mother, wife, lover.  I don't feel as if I am attractive to my husband, who had a successful RNY almost 4 years ago.  I recently lost my job, which I was only working at part time with restrictions.  I feel like a total loser and I am almost ashamed to go back to the surgeon's office to ask for help.  I am in counseling, but I am not sure how much longer I can afford the copays.  HELP ME!!! I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FAILURE!!!!!

Man, I don't have a good answer for you either, but boy do you need ((((HUGS))))

Consider yourself hugged.  What a horrible bout you've had.  I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry for your depression and problems.  I surely hope that your counselor will talk you into going back to your doctor to start agaiThe doctors WORK for you.  you are PAYING them so don't take any bad stuff from them.  Just start again.   You KNOW it can work- look how much you lost. 

I am just preparing for by=pass surgery and fear that I won't be able to do it - succeed with the surgery and lose the weight after such a dramatic effort.  I am a diabetic and need the surgery to help control my sugar numbers - but the weight loss will be lovely also.

Tell me how I can encourage you.  I would be glad to pray for you and with you(if you believe in that) and encourage your fresh start.

Lynn

My heart goes out to you - Hang in there! 

It must be especially frustrating in some ways to have your husband as a direct contrast.  As I try to reach out to you, I see a lot of similarity with myself.

How bout this? Go back to the beginning - what were the reasons you wanted to have surgery in the first place? You are a very strong person because despite all the barriers you have mentioned, and I'm sure there a couple more you forgot to mention, you are still here. 

Maybe it would be helpful to back to the beginning also in terms of food - in other words, begin the process all over again, starting with clear liquids.

I would encourage you to go back to your surgeons office. Most surgeons have support groups that are free of charge. Also, many of the symptoms you are mentioning could be the result of vitamin/mineral deficiencies - ESPECIALLY the depression. Most family physicians don't know what to test for --- ask for Vitamin D and parathyroid levels if you can. 

Reach out - isolation breeds fear and depression. Do anything or watch anything that makes you laugh. Plan something you can look forward to and have fun doing -  preferably without your husband

Hang in there 

B

Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again.

You are getting up, just by posting... good for you. Go to your Dr. tell him exactly what you have been through, are going through and ask for help. They have heard it all. Do not be ashamed. Do it.

Stick with the counseling... I truly believe our WLS journey has more to do with the head stuff than any surgery, any food, any exercise. Research some free groups... ask about indigent/sliding scale fees at your counselors office or a referral to free help.

Find some online support.. here, Facebook, maybe a support group through your Dr's office. People to turn to who have been there, done that. It helps.

Remember they don't call it a war on obesity for nothing... it is a war. You wake up every day and battle. Some times you win that day, sometimes the enemy gets the upper hand. Keep fighting.

Cyber Hugs,

Michelle "Shelly"

((((((()))))))))) I agree  with Eggface ... take this problem to Ur doctor .  No " pouch test "  is going to solve this ... maybe U need a revision  with ample counseling , education etc  before the cut  so U are prepared this time ... vitamin wise .. and life-wise how Ur new less food -focused life is going to feel and function .   

I do think you have to replace the excess food with something .  I was lucky that I had a passion to make art  long before WLS made it possible for me to actually do it every day .  

Hugs ... please keep posting  U are  definitely not alone and U are providing a courageous and powerful example for many  

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement.  I will take any and all prayers, encouragement, and cyber hugs I can get.  Maybe a call to the surgeon's office should be on the to do list for today.

Hugs to all,

Paula

Oh, Paula, I'm praying for you, too - please keep us posted on your progress. And here's another (((HUG)))

all the best to you. so sorry to hear you're suffering and i hope that it is eased soon.

Hi, I am so sorry for your troubles and depression.  I too struggle with depression.  I was also on ambien and my doctor told me it causes major weight gain.  He has since put me on celexa witch helps me sleep, helps my depression, and anxiety.  I am not a doctor and saying you should stop any meds but you may want to mention this to your doctor