calming nerves 5 days pre op

help! i am a wreck and would love tips how to calm down.

It's totally normal... talk to your Dr. if he feels its appropriate he can prescribe something but maybe writing down your fears either for yourself or start a thread here and perhaps some of us who have been there, done that ;) can dispel a few for you. Connect with others having surgery around the same time... 2 posts or so up someone is feeling the same way you are tonight so maybe message them too... just knowing that someone else is having similar feelings is a comfort I think.

Other than that... lavender, chill music, decaf tea, visualizing life after surgery.

Best wishes!

~Michelle "Shelly"

Fears : Leaving mmy three kids without a mother, not ending up with the full DS and only the sleeve (which is a great surgery it just would not be the best option for me) fear of taking care of myself post op I feel like I am bringing a newborn home for the first time and as much as I have read I feel unprepared for it. The fear that I wont lose as much weight as I want. I am 307 I would be happy at 180 or less. It has been a life long battle of obesity (I am 25 now) if I do lose the weight how do I be anything other than the fat girl? I have a certain personality because it was how I dealt with the bullying as an adult and child. Am I going to lose who I am from the changes on tthe outside. I know i ssound crazy :/

SO many good questions!  I was terrified of the surgery because I had never been put under before, but it was FINE.  Not sure why you're worried they wont do the procedure you want. If that's what the doctors goes in to do, I'm sure he will do it.  I had the sleeve, and I LOVE IT.  I'm sure you will love the DS.  Just take everything ONE day at a time, and you will feel better.  I wrote a blog on the 10 things I wish I knew before surgery, you should read it.

I am 28, and have been the "fat girl" my entire life.  I was the biggest in my family of women, and my personality developed the way it did because I was fat.  Now I am 157lbs down from 275lbs, and let me tell you, its a whole different feeling, but I'm still me.  I still remember being the fat girl, and how I was treated, and the people who treated me that way, and the most fun part is NOW they want to be friends and I get the upper hand.  Guess what, I'm still ME and I won't change because my body may be different but my memory is there.  The most uncomfortable part is I've never had anyone compliment me before, and now that I get them from strangers I don't fully know how to take it, but I'm learning.   Don't worry, you will still be you, just a happier healthier you. 

We're the same age, and about the same weight. I don't have a date yet because I'm still on my losing 10% of my weight before surgery part, but these fears are so close to mine as well! I was always the fat funny girl who could poke fun at herself, and when you lose the weight, whats left? Having an identity change can be very terrifying, but think of it like a time to find out the kind of person you are or want to be =) 

Great advice Shelly. Relax and think about the positive. All I can say is remember why you are doing this and stay positive. It will work out. Your kids will have a healthier Mom. You will be successful!

I have some of the same fears, I am having my procedure on Apr 2nd and I am excited but nervouse too. As I have never been ut under either, that is a fear of mine. I also have three kids (all under 10 yrs old) so I am worried about that too, but I figure if I stay the way I am I will not be around much longer anyway, so this is my last resort. The other fear I have is failure. BUt I am doinglike others have suggested and looking forward to my new life, my new pouch, and enjoying food fore what it will provide me in ways other than just comfort. Good Luck!