Confession...

So, I haven't got a date but I am almost finished with all of my requirement appointments (nut, EDG, Pulm). But lately I have had a huge sweet tooth, I am usually a salty snack girl. I am not required to have any weight loss to have surgery, though I have replaced breakfast with a protein shake. I have lost 20lbs, but with this, maybe stress, eating, I have gained 10lbs back.

I am feeling guilt, though I am not sure why. But if I am struggling now, how will I be after surgery.

PS: I do have a therapist, and this is some of what we are working on. Just wondering what those who have been there think.

Thanks

There are a lot of reasons to get your head screwed on straight before surgery.

The sooner you change your relationship with food, your choices, portions, etc, the more successful you'll be. 

Going low carb and losing weight before surgery will shrink the size of your liver. That makes the surgeon have an easier time, and is much safer for you. We've seen some on OH that ended up having open instead of lap surgery, or no surgery at all, because their livers got bigger, not smaller.

And the more weight you lose now, the easier it will be to reach your ultimate goal. Getting a good running start going into surgery helps a lot.

Very good advice.  The week before my surgery, I drank a lot of water to feel like I was cleansing my liver.  I ate very little and if I did, it was mostly vegetables and fruit and very little amounts of chicken.

You might be having anxiety thinking about the food you think you'll never eat again, and therefore having some mini food funerals.  It's very common. 

But Grim is right.  The sooner you face and deal with your relationship with food,  the better off you'll be after you undergo surgery.  I tried to keep in mind that I'd eaten enough cheeseburgers in my life to feed a large African nation during my preop diet. 

I think guilt is a good thing as long as it doesn't cause you to spiral downward into self destructive behaviors.  It's a reminder that you know the difference between what you're doing and what you should be doing 

I was the same way prior to my surgery.  Always a nacho chip girl and two weeks before surgery, of all things, I got hooked on oreo cookies.  I chalked it up to nerves.  Believe me, after your surgery, you should have no issues.  Almost everything I have to drink now, to get my protein in, is sweet.  I am still in liquid phase.  I don't crave anything actually.  It is just work trying to get all of the required protein and water in.  My NUT told me to get a bag of Soni****  Never knew I could like ice so much.  It is like a crushed ice.  I put it in all of my Powerade Zero drinks, plus chewing it makes me feel like I'm eating!  So cool.

Different ways work for different people. I didn't have to lose weight or do any sort of pre-op diet so I made no effort at all before surgery. For me, and this is ME, many will see things very differently, the operation was my clean break moment. 

Up to the surgery, I was my normal piggy self. The day of the surgery, I became the new me! I was so absolutely certain the op would work that my early post-op motivation was sky-high and I had no doubts that my food-life had changed. My mind-set was so fixed that my new eating style became what I truly wanted. 

oK I have lapsed since! But for me the change was on that day, nine years ago almost!

I'm pre-op, surgery in a couple weeks.

I'm a planner, I've got my vitamins ready, protein shakes, broths, all in the pantry. Calendar all marked up for appointments and food phases...

I SHOULD be using this time prior to starting my pre-op diet to change my food habits, I tell myself. But, I'm not really. Its because I feel like this is the last of my "normal" life, I just want to act normal, until I have to change. Then, I will change.

I don't eat terribly bad; fast food a couple times a week which is no good, fatty/sugary coffees once in a while, but at home I make normal home cooked food with real ingredients. My portions are just out of control, that's what it takes to fill me up. :( I also don't eat breakfast, so I'm very hungry for lunch and dinner.

My pre-op diet starts in a couple weeks, so for now I'm just taking it easy on myself. When my pre-op diet starts (2 weeks before surgery) i'll really get in the game. For now, taking it easy, and excited to be going to a nice dinner on my birthday at Ruth's Chris with family.

I would say, try not to overdo it, but be gentle with yourself. Your life and body is about to change, and from what I heard, it's a normal thing to do to indulge a bit before the big day :)

You might be having what another poster has said, a food funeral, it's pretty common. You'll probably have some head hunger issues after surgery & you'll have to find ways to deal with this. Since you have a therapist that will definitely help you.

Struggles are a part of life, finding ways to deal with it, facing it, conquering it, etc, it's a daily thing for the most part, having a good support system will help you with your struggles. 

I've learned to not feel too guilty after I've fallen off the wagon, just to recognize that I've slipped up & not spiral downwards into a free for all, eat all the sweets I want cuz I screwed up, but to stop, look at why I screwed up & figure how not to screw it up again & go right back to basics. In time perhaps the struggles won't feel so overpowering, but something you can kick to the curb & keep it there. Good luck in your weight loss journey.