kind of confused

I'm having a weird reaction to things that have never bothered me before. Me and my wife accomplished another xmas. And the strangest feeling has come over me. I've always tried to be positive, to look at the funny side of life. But I fear something happened to my limbic system that's causing me to feel nothing but sad. Has anyone else felt similar sadness, or a hopeless feeling after RNY.

My personal life is going great, healthy kids, solid finances, wonderful wife of 17 years. I just can't understand why I suddenly can find no modicum of joy anywhere. But, not only joy is gone. All emotion seems to have deserted me.

My new lifestyle is going great, no residual food problems.  I exercise, work, parent, the same stuff most adults do. I'm feeling too empty to even try and explain to my wife. My friends all decided that if I wasn't drinking and eating like an idiot, I was out of the circle. So I come to a place where I expect no coddling or cosignors. 

I go to a huge 400 y.o. tree in my forest and sit quietly waiting for my smile to find me again, I look in old photo albums to try and find it there. It's not. Marines do not cry for God's sake. do they? can they? why am I going through this? I'm so sorry if this isn't appropriate.

My opinion here.  Your problem is not weight loss surgery, it the new lifestyle.  I think you had it pretty recently so what you are going through is common.  When I was in weight loss mode, I avoided a lot of social activities and was somewhat shunned by my friends.  Instead of stopping for happy hour, I walked 2 miles.  Instead of going out to lunch, I bought a refrigerator for my office and controlled my menu and portions.  Honestly, I got so much satisfaction out of the scale and NSV's, I didn't dwell on it.  I've been in maintenance now for a few months and things will slowly come back to normal.  You still have to stay disciplined and make good choices but things will get better.  Also, I did, and you may miss those activities.  Give it time, this new life offers much more than the old one.  Good luck!

Thank you Dan.

this is not unusual after   wLS. Hormones, even for men, are stored in Fat and as we begin to burn that fat, the hormones are released into our blood streams.This is know a hormone dumping. It will pass but some ppl find an anti depressant helpful for a short period of time . 

Hi- I'm just starting out and have luckily only had one crying incident so far in almost 2 weeks (tues) But if you search on this board, you will find that early on, there a crap load of emotions going through your head, plus a huge change in your life. Most of the posts are from women but you get the gist.

I'm not sure why this happens, but it does, and fairly often. There are a lot of theories, but right now, for you, the why doesn't matter. Adressing the issue is all that counts.

Depression and suicide spike for a while after WLS. You should see a professional if you think this could even remotely get worse. Don't screw around. Lots of Marines have suffered badly or done themselves harm. Depression doesn't care.

Thank you Grim.

Have you ever had depression before, Gary? It sucks, it's real, and your feelings are legit.  Honor your feelings, and if I might add, honor your wife, too, by sharing with her, even just a little bit.  It doesn't make you less of a man in any way.  Lots of vets talk about therapy; I'm gonna look into having someone on standby - just for me.  We are 'losing' our old selves, and as great as it is for so many reasons, there is still a loss and some relationships that will change or end, another loss.  Be kind to yourself.  Thanks for your honesty and sharing.  God Bless.

Lisa

I think of depression as like when a car needs oil.  The brain starts running without the right balance of neurotransmitters and it is like your car needs oil and you don't put any in.  Without lubrication the engine will freeze up.  An antidepressant acts like a lubricant on the brain.  It can reduce the friction and make the engine run smoothly.

Whether this is from hormones dumping or some other reason, operating with a "dry brain" is no fun.  The holidays can make depression worse.  There is no shame in talking to a doctor about what is happening to you and asking for some help.  Plenty of Marines and every other branch of the service and every other career choice go through depression.

I was working for a giant computer corporation when we started to question why our number one drug prescription claim was for Prozac.  We never came up with an answer but did make some policy changes about expecting people to work around the clock and ignore their families.  I know that is not your situation. 

I do know that there is help and that you should not be afraid to ask for it.

Thank you so much.