Support minus Jesus

I'm new here. I'm glad to have found this board. I love all the sincere folks on the main board and others who've offered to pray for me. I have no idea how to react to that, as I don't really believe that anyone hears the prayers. I've been struggling with the whole fear of death thing for the last week or so. As my date approaches, I can't help but worry about what might go wrong. It's harder when you don't believe there's a diety looking out for you, or a nice place to assemble with all your (worthy) dead relatives if something goes wrong. So how to we cope without these things? I've never coped with things WITH religion, as I've been pretty strongly non-Christian and agnostic from an early age (despite two years of horrid Catholic school -- my dad was an Orthodox Jew, so I always knew Christ wasn't the only answer people had). But it's easier to cope with pain and isolation than with the idea that I could be dead in a month. Can I get a witness?

I wish I had an easy answer. I made my choice for WLS knowing full well I could die. I was scared ****less. I just knew that the way I was living was a walking death in itself. I was MORE afraid of living the way I was forever than of dying on that table. I wrote a letter to my husband and told only one person where to find it in the event of my death. I never told him I wrote that letter. Death is so final. I just kept telling myself that if I died I would not even know it. It is a gamble and a risk. Whether it is worth it or not is something only you can answer. I used to be much more flippant about death back when I was a chrisitian. I take it much more seriously now. I am more careful with my life and try to take good care of my body. I drive more carefully and much more aware of my surroundings. I am the only one looking out for me. To wander through life thinking there is a super power protecting you is just not reasonable to me. You then become a victim followed by a statistic. I refuse to be either. Anyway, that is my rambling for today. Welcome to our board. Terri

Hi Rebecca, Welcome to the board. I too was afraid of dying when I went into surgery. I kept reminding myself that I was killing myself anyway with the excess weight and resulting health problems. I look at it this way, some things are worth taking a chance for. Even if one of the consequences is death. Living a half or quarter life isn't worth it. Living a full one is. Best wishes, Barb B.

Thanks. I'm still struggling a bit, but I think that's just how this works. I need to find some things to so as a distraction. Maybe I should crochet a bunch of scarves. Scarves are what I do best, seeing as I only know one stitch (and a couple of variations on that stitch).