So you lost the weight- now what?

I took pictures of myself each month as I slid down the scale. That was super! Then my monthly pictures starting looking...the same. Oh sure, my hair changed a teeny bit. My shape shifted a little bit. But here I am. The same.

At three years out and about 21 months of the SAME. I am reveling in that sameness for once in my life. It used to be that one shirt or pair of pants would fit me one week and not the next when I was heavy. I am trying to find joy in the "ordinary-ness" of my existence.

Maybe for you, you need to set some new goals for yourself to achieve. Maybe a fitness goal? More education? Working toward something specific keeps me busy.

You are not a loon. Just at a station along the journey.

Nicolle

That was some kind of awesome Nicolle. The same...yes that's how it is and I'm questioning it. Is this what I will be like from now on? Why oh why do I question the good things but readily accept the bad? I give ya'll permission to shove your foot up my ass and wiggle your toes next time I post a poor-me, self doubting post again. Reckon it happens to us all at some stage. Thanks for your suggestions...I just may have too much time on my hands. *lol*

Eileen,

I was thinking of some stuff just a minute ago that kind of relates to this...

A lot of us vets have tried to make these points, just to be ignored by many in a way because they have their blinders on and only look at short term. This is life long and not just about losing weight. Honestly thats the last part of the journey anyone should be thinking about.

We have quite a few long term DSrs still here, mainly lurking or on off topic posts. Its only mainly focused on new journeys because its the thrill of losing weight. I wish things would actually allow for more TRUE reality other than OMG Ive lost this many pounds. But some refuse to look at the what is to come.

Folks are so high on losing weight the first couple years that when its welcome to maintenance and living life, the reality of drinking umpteen shakes a day etc etc etc all the things folks do to get to goal, will wear on you and realize it is a whole new phase. Some wish they would have tried to do things in a bit more of a normal way, ex: trying to eat all their protiens and only using a shake if they had too. NOT living off shakes and eating little, aka not normal living.

I wish people would stop for a moment and realize your life should not revolve around your surgery, and for many it does for the first couple years. Then the harsh reality of real life and living as a normal person catches many off gaurd.

So they begin to feel as you are now, grieving, disappointed etc. Why? Because surgery & weightloss dictated your life for the past 2 years or so. So now comes the realization of wow I've got alot to figure out, and you will get alot of " I should have done this instead" thoughts. No you can't prepare for it all but everyone should try to come down for a taste of normal life.

This is where I can be glad I did not get on OH till after I had surgery. I got to spend time with long term post-ops at my surgerons meetings for the year before I had surgery. Thats who I was always talking to...I wanted to know what was life like farther out. I'm so appriciative of being able to speak with folks 10+ years out when I was pre-op. I can easily see how OH can blind folks into OMG WLS IS EVERYTHING.

If anything can come from this... By golly losing the weight is great and getting to wear and do things you never have or whatever during the honeymoon. But folks I emplore you to ask more about the long term. The WOWs are fabulous, but I know I have the greatest WOW of all now... I FIT IN EVERYDAY LIFE! That to me is the true goal of WLS.

You are so right on so many levels it's scary. I think with me and my cir****tances the prize at the end wasn't my weight loss as much as it was to get rid of my back pain and improving my health. While my co morbids are thankfully gone, I'm dealing with the opposite with my back-it has increased my back pain since my weight loss. So all those doctors and specialists who warned me to lose weight in order to be pain free were full of horse ****they were just blaming my obesity for my problems, very typical unfortunately.

That said, I hope others out there realize that wls in itself is not a miracle cure for anything. And as you said and I fully agree that no one should glamorize it and make it seem like a stroll down the yellow brick road just because I lost 183 lbs doesn't mean it's going to stay off with a wave of my wand. It's going to take work. I just need to figure where I'll fit in within myself (hope that makes sense) and where better than with those already gone or going through it. Thanks Nicole, you really helped me with this.

You ALL are my heros! Kirmy, I'll join your army...when I qualify. I'm so far up the scale you may no longer be the General when I join the ranks!
Thanks for the post Eileen.We do need to keep OUR LIVES in focus. I myself am obsessed with weight loss not thinking of maintenance. Powerful thoughts ladies!  Now, where are my knitting needles?

Glad this subject helped you...just remember it when you're in maintenance. What a ride!

I think that the thrill of losing weight, seeing a lower and lower number on the scale, fitting into smaller clothes, having people compliment you on how much weight you've lost.....all of that makes life seem so exciting and can be kind of addicting (for lack of a better word).  Once you reach goal and then maintain it for a few months all of that excitement and constant positive reinforcement is gone.  It CAN be a let down.

Now we have to transition back into normalcy. 

I know what you're saying Tess, but with me that just isn't the case. I'm glad the comments are slowing up-they drove me bonkers! *lol* But as you said it is the normalcy we have to get used to again...and that is what is so strange...this new normal. But I'd rather be here and now than back where I was. That's for sure!

Weight loss was the easy part for me. Truly  for 18 months it was fast furious and a change a minute. No complicaitons.
Then I spent over one year doing all the plastics that seemed to take forever. Again with massive changes in how the outside package looked. My luck ranout and I did have complications: uneven results requiring anothe medial thigh lift ( off course on my dime) and a seroma from hell that took intensive interventive radiology to finally get rid of. All this took a toll on me and my exercise ability. I ended up way to small for my frame and comfort. Yes my BMI was normal 24 for the first time in my life but I did not look good or feel good at that weight. So it took another almost year to put muscle back on.....so that was my "efforts for that year".

So there I was at 3 1/2 years out-stable clothing size, exercise routine stable, eating stable.
I have to tell you I did miss the wow's, the photo-whoring, the comments from friends and family.
The things I had not done because of my weight for the most part I was doing now.

My life now is pretty damn stable.
I can't blame my weight anymore for missed opportunities.
I can't blame my weight on relationships not working out.
I have no weight related excuse for not living my authentic life.

At times when I am disappointed in life I have to do the much harder work of examining my hearts intentions. I have to let go of old fears of rejection because they are not based on my new reality. Sometimes to realize that I need to work on the more important part of me my soul.

So is life perfect. Nope sorry too say.
I still have bigger dreams than my pocketbook.
My health issues: autoimmune will never change and I have had a few vitamin, mineral issues from the DS to deal with. B12 anemia early out, Iron deficiency anemia last year. This years new issue now that those are good is a tanking vitaminD. So here I again will tweak my supplements (Vitalady D and K is on the way) and work on those issues.
I am working 3 jobs at age 53, one for my health I am a supervisor at the local YWCA pool, I work for my husband and another physician and one for GOD teaching religious school.
What I don't have is a lot of spare time to just relax. I love to bead and make jewelry but rarely have the energy to play as my jobs and familly come first. Since this is a passion but not a profit it tends to be delegated way down on the time list.

Thanks for sharing this Amanda, I really appreciate your experienced view. What struck me was this: The things I had not done because of my weight for the most part I was doing now. How true that is and maybe it's just so new and I'm still a baby DS'er that I have a lot to learn and a long road to travel yet. My road has led me down an easy path so far; other than incisional hernia repair my wl has been easy for me. I hope that trend holds true for many years to come. In the meantime, I just have to learn to trust myself, my DS and get on with it. Live my life now that I can and the way I want --how many second chances does one get anyway? So from now on that glass is back to being half full.