Why do you all care about "MY GOAL WEIGHT" ?

First of all let me start by saying that I congratulate each and every one of you who "reached goal" be it yours or your surgeon's or any body's. God bless you! for endurance, patience, effort, counting carbs, or whatever you did to reach it.
My point though is first that my surgeon did not give me a goal as such (even though at the regular visits they keep telling me that I am doing good but only lost  60-70- 80 % of MY EXCESS!!!) , then looking at the famous ideal weight table I would reach "goal" or normal BMI between 114- 134 which would most likely make me look like one of the healthiest Auschwitz inmates towards the end of WWII including protruding bones and very loose hanging skin not to even mention my face or absent butt!.
Let me say that I am very happy with the way my health improved: off the cholesterol medicine, off the high blood pressure medicine, no more apnea, no more joint aches, etc. etc. Then  at my age and body shape I am also pleased with my 10/12 size, I never had any dreams of reaching a 3 or a 4 or even a 6.  I lost a total of 114-115 pounds and have been stable now for the last 3-4 months eating pretty much everything I want to within recommended DS limits, taking my vitamins and protein religiously a.so. and will most likely lose a few more with plastics.
I know that THE ideal weight GOAL is 20-30 pounds away to be able to put it on paper that I lost 100% EW but why would I /you want to comply to some numbers calculated by a conventional formula that is an average anyway?  I apologize in advance if my post will irritate somebody - this is just an attempt to get some honest answers from my fellow very successful vets or newbies why not.
Thank you.

Lots of people get hung up on numbers, and the government is always touting that bizarre bit of info call the BMI scale **** it. You achieved the ultimate goal of health, right?

I didn't reach goal with my RNY (168). I reached it with the DS, but my DS goal was 140. I'm not going to get to 140, or so it seems, my body has been settled into the 162-167 range since last September.  You know what I love? I love being able to walk for miles, being able to fit through turnstiles, being able to keep up with my 7 year old, and being able to go to the doctor without dread. 

When I do start to think "oh, I should lose more" my husband thinks I'm crazy. He keeps saying that I need to stop obsessing on numbers and just live.

So, no, not everyone gets to goal but we do get to healthy.

I'm a little confused about exactly what your question is, but I think you're asking why anyone cares about being "normal".  For me, being "normal" size/weight has seemed like an unachievable thing/goal.  I chose my goal weight to be 120lbs, because that was what I weighed as a senior in high school, and that's the smallest I can ever remember myself being.  It just so happens to be in the acceptable range for "normal" for my height. I don't care about the EWL chart, I just want to be smack dab in the middle of "normal".  I didn't want to go through this life altering surgery, just to end up "overweight".  I don't want to stand out in a crowd anymore, and "normal" sized people just blend into the crowd.  Never again, do I want to hear "Oh! When are you due?" Do I want to look anorexic?  No way, so if I start looking too thin before I hit my goal, I'll start adding in more complex carbs to stop my weight loss. 

I hope that's what you were looking for. 

I'm not sure what you're asking. I really don't care about your "goal weight". Whatever weight makes you feel happy and healthy, then great for you! I think success is all about attitude.

If you're asking why I care about MY goal weight, then that's a different question. When my surgeon (actually my nut/nurse) started talking about EWL, I asked her what  they were basing their numbers on. She said 165. I had NEVER in my life thought about being that small (honestly it seemed laughably unattainable), so I latched on to that number as a potential "goal weight." Recently, when I started to get within 5 pounds of that goal, I thought again about the numbers.

Although I would probably be perfectly happy to stay at this size forever (with some possible body changes due to plastics....), I know that lots of people talk about rebound. That made me want to go a bit lower. Also, the top end of a "normal" BMI is 149 for me. Although I really doubt that I could stay there, part of me would like to see that place for a minute or two. So, I guess 149 is my new "goal weight." (But I'm not changing my ticker until I see it go to the end, darn it!) I don't really know why I think I have control though. It's not like I'm doing anything in particular to try and lose weight any more than I have through this whole process. My body's doing all the work and I'm just along for the ride! :) 

The most important thing, to me, is that each person is happy in their own skin, no matter how stretched that skin may be! What works for one is not right for another. I never want to be one of those people who care that much about a number on a scale or on a pair of pants or who judges my happiness based on whether I can fit in a size 2. My self worth wasn't based on how I looked when I wore a size 28 so why should it be now?

In other words, don't worry....be happy!

Of course I am not  asking anybody to care about my own  - that is what these "..." things usually do - they are delimiting a phrase and the phrase I was asking about was: " MY GOAL WEIGHT" - yours theirs, ours, his hers . . . .and why are some people obsessed with a number
; thank you for your answer.

Got it! Sorry I was confused. I guess I read it wrong. :) 

 I think a valid point is being made here!  Mazel Tov!  Happy for you!

My surgeon never really set a goal for me, either; although when pressed, he said he thought around 150 would be appropriate for me.  My actual "goal" for myself, starting out in this journey, was a size goal, not a weight goal - I wanted to fit into a size 10.  I thought that was a pretty attainable goal, and I didn't really care what a scale said I weighed as long as I wore the size I wanted.

All that being said, I arbitrarily picked 140 as my weight goal, just to have a goal.  Oddly enough, I have now been hovering between 139 and 145 for months now, most days weighing in at 143.  Apparently, my body likes the goal I picked for myself.  I did get down to a low of 136, but that only lasted about two weeks.  I blew right past my size goal, way before I hit my weight goal.

I think everyone's "personal goal" should be just that - personal.  Weight and BMI charts are garbage, in my opinion.  If you are healthy and feel good both mentally and physically, then why allow some archaic chart tell you what you should weigh?

I didn't have an actual goal.  When I got out of basic training in the army my BMI was between 24.5 and 26.  That is, at the time in my young life when I was the MOST fit, the charts put me at the cusp of normal and overweight.  Well, screw that.

When I lost weight with the DS and got to what I thought was a pretty good place and wanted to lose maybe 15-20 more pounds (photo on the right), the charts said I was still obese. BMI of 32+ and needed to lose at least 40 more pounds.  So screw that, too.


 

I too feel my goals are more by how I feel, how my clothes fit, what my health is. The charts say I should be 125 pounds at 5'2". That was my original ticker goal. But I am beginning to think that is way too thin. I revised it to 135, which would barely put me in at normal BMI.

But right now I'm a size 12 going into a size 10 and my whole family is having a fit saying I'm getting too skinny.

So, really, my goal is when I "feel" right. And non-floppy skin. I need plastics bad. I want to be round and soft, but non-floppy.

158 used to sound so fat to me, right now it seems pretty ok.