Fat girl syndrome

This site does a lot of discussions on the physical needs of people but I haven't seen much on the psychological needs of the women who are changing in other ways as well.

Fat girl syndrome has a lot of urban slang meanings, typically none of them are nice, however there is a real issue for many fat girls who lose a lot of weight to still have their same psychological issues of low self-esteem, anger issues, lack of confidence, poor mate selection, and feeling that being abused is all they can expect out of someone.

This is the part I am concerned about when I read posts here.  There are people literally crying out for help with no where to turn but I see no resources here from "vets" who will admit to have gone through these changes too.

Women who have been heavy all their lives learn to compensate for it as they grow up.  They may become louder and more aggressive or they may become a social recluse.   There is no specific pattern in behavior that they follow but one thing it clear, it is prevalent in the formerly fat girls around the United States.

Please be sure that as you lose weight you stay focused on your physicial health, I am in no means discounting that, but also it is never a bad thing to talk to someone, to get some help with your psychological issues as you change also.

Your relationships with friends and families may change, your work relationships/status may change, your entire world is changing and while message boards are great for pats on the back, it is very much necessary to seek professional help with these transitions.  

Your self confidence, your self esteem, your future will thank you for it.

100% AGREE!!!  

I've lost 100 pounds more than a few times in my life...and the issues are always there.  I recently signed my consent to surgery form and a few of the things listed as potential side effects were psychological issues, self image issues, relationship/marital issues, and addiction issues.  I briefly paused when I read the release, then reminded myself these are issues I have had in the past or are currently experiencing...but regardless it was a reality check.

in an essence this is a self help, specifically for DS,pre op, post ops etc,  I think people forget there is not surgery for your head, the same issues will be there post op unless you deal with them, ID and fix them, weight loss will make you feel better physically, but until you deal with your psych issues they will remain post op

You are right.  People think the WLS will solve everything in their lives and it wont.  They will still have those same insecurities/issues.

What's worse are those who go overboard with their new figures who become even more aggressive/loud and exaggerate the behavior they had before.

Hopefully people understand it is okay to ask for help and recognize their risks.

that is very insightful of you, but everyone is so different that it might be hard to discuss very personal issues like that much with but I do hear often  people here recommending counseling to some for  personal issues.
 
If someone felt the need to discuss issues of that type here I imagine tho that others would pitch in and give their feelings about the post. I have some very personal stuff here at times. Maybe you will be a good one to initiate such discussions. . .

another personal issue that I have seen and experienced after losing weight is going thru sexual issues like being too promiscuous as if I was going thru a late adolescence and I have also read about others doing it too. I remember once when I lost a lot of weight I ended up dressing a little too provacatively and that did get me in some trouble and had people wondering why I lost my modesty. It can be crazy. While a renewed sels-confidence can be great it can get distorted that way. I am glad I am older this time as I think I would be past that now.

zuzupetals2u2, one of the definitions out of the urban dictionary describes that perfectly.

Sometimes for the first time, women going through weight loss will experience male attention and overreact to it.  

I think one of the areas that should be considered for after surgery care is counseling.   While not everyone needs it or is comfortable with it, many could benefit.   Heck, it doesn't matter if you are 1 day out of surgery or 10 years, the changes we go through as our bodies change are amazing.

I look forward to even more changes as I lose more weight but I am ever mindful of FGS.  

I have never really heard of it as a syndrome and wonder now if there is a book on it or where you are getting the info about it?

Just reading around on the web and seeing so many commonalities of former fat girls battling the same psychological issues. 

It's not a disease/syndrome in the clinical sense, but moreso in the commonality sense.

Sensitive commentary.  We are all so different, whether we've lived our lives in obese bodies, or not.  Some of us may actually have developed in ways that have not bound our bodies with emotional scar tissue, while others of us may have been grieveously wounded.  Some *will* need professional therapy, others not. 

While I don't have the time just now to cite my sources, as I recall, however, those post-ops who continue in a group therapy mileau seem to fare better over the long haul, both emotionally and with weight loss maintenance.  For me, OH was a bastion of support, and regular attendance at my surgeon's monthly meetings was another piller, and remains so today.

You note that vets here haven't been forthcoming about support resources. 

I think that if one has a good surgeon, his/her protocol would include monthly support meetings.  If one is blessed to have health insurance, then the patient could hopefully find an in-network therapist if it's an HMO, or a contract provider in their PPO.  If there is no insurance coverage, then there are therapists who work on a sliding scale.

There are a variety of psychotherapy modalities that a well qualified therapist can structure to fit each patient's needs, and, the fact is, it need not take the rest of one's life to "recover". 

When I used to frequently read and post here the majority of people *did* talk about their feelings, their emotional challenges, problems with family, society, work, and the world at large, and they discussed how they coped, or didn't, and what kinds help they found, or didn't.  So, things must have really changed during the last year or so that I haven't been back here. 

It's too bad if this is the case because back then, this forum was profoundly rich and warm in welcome, support, suggestions, solutions, etc.

And just where have you been lately, missy? There are only so many hours one can work in her garden, after all!!!

I think we DO still talk about our feelings here---but this is a much larger group than it used to be, and a higher per centage of newbies. Back when you and I were newbies, this board moved at a much slower pace, and we tended to all know one another. These days, with so MANY people posting here,that's not really the case.