Saggy skin and dating?

aaron0766
on 3/26/11 12:35 pm - OH
OMG, I know I haven't even begun to lose most of my weight but already I can see extra skin.  Does it never go back?  Being a in the LGBT community, so many are critical of other's bodies.  Will anyone ever want to date me?  I am mortified when I look at my butt. 

Have any of you experienced this?  Did you have to get a whole body lift, and if so how much does that cost?  I am doing this primarily for my health but where my weight once made me a hermit I don't want the saggy skin to do the same. 

Are there any good lotions or something I can use?  HELP!
        
OneFinger
on 3/27/11 1:51 am

Aaron,

RELAX, you're just starting out on this journey. The skin sag will definately get WORSE.

Seriously, I've been very surprised at how much of the sag my body has absorbed. I was really afraid of having an "apron" hanging over the abdoman and it doesn't look like that will happen. My arms looked bad for a couple of weeks but gym workouts have really helped.

Age and exercise has a lot to do with it. I'm an old fart (late 50's) and you look much younger so I think you'll do better. I also am a firm believer in wearing compression shirts. I think that helps "train" the muscles to hold in that extra skin. But, it really does help even out the lumps you get during weight loss.

On a surgical note, I've been told that most reputable docs don't want to touch you until you've been at your goal weight for about 1 year. And, I'd really recommend that you find a surgeon that specializes in weight loss-related plastic surgery. It is a specialized portion with the plastic surgery community.

This was also discussed in the Men's forum about 6 weeks ago. Very good info and one guy actually had his done in Mexico for a great price.

www.obesityhelp.com/forums/men/4317614/Body-lift-Tummy-tuck- costs/

I'd start saving money now and, if you don't need the surgery, use the funds on a great vacation.

As for dating, I haven't tackled this hurdle (yet). But, it is something I concerned about. However, my body doesn't look as bad right now as it did when I was fat.

High Weight = 310     Surgery Weight = 300   Dr's Goal = 200   My Goal = 190    
(deactivated member)
on 3/27/11 7:25 am
As Onefinger said, you have age on your side. i had the surgery on sept 30th and have lost a great deal surprisingly haven't had too much skin saggage yet diet exercise and vitamins very important to help with the lessening of saggage. I kinda just let everyone know i lost a large amount of weight and then when the time comes and they see your excess it shouldn't be a large shock. Confidence is key, if you show your embarrassed by you excess skin, others will sometimes have that same reaction and trust me confidence is abundant several months out. I hope you will find peace with your issue, God bless.
aaron0766
on 3/28/11 2:01 am - OH
thanks guys, your advice helps.
kristine V.
on 3/29/11 4:19 am - FL
my best friend just had his one years surgeversary and he has some saggy skin that he's shown me but let me tell you, he gets a lot of action in spite of it. and that's that we're in miami where the lgbt community can be pretty finicky. i can tell you with confidence he has no trouble with guys at all.
  starting weight: 343 current weight: 273 goal weight: 143
Deb366
on 3/30/11 12:47 pm
Oh, I know it is not funny, but you made me remember the first time I saw my butt in the mirror! It looked the way I imagine an elephants does....oh my!

Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight has some 'saggage'. Depends on age, your skin type, how much you lose...etc.

I did have some ps (long story) which helped with the parts that bothered me the most....I think that working out helps build muscle and fills it out some...over time I have gotten used to some of it and love how it is. Honestly, when I win the lottery I may still do my thighs...

In regards to relationships....mmm, I am not a guy....but two things....one if someone loves you they will look past your loose skin(mom advice), and two, in real life we are each more focused on how we look than someone else does....focus on them, work on your technique...and I would guess you would still get some action. What ever happens, don't let your weight or loose skin impact your social life....get out there and live it!

deb366

 

Currently 125  pounds
Terrence_CA
on 4/3/11 10:52 pm
I lost over 265 pounds and still have a lot of loose skin. I can hide it under my clothes really well, so actual dating isn't an issue. I have dated quite a bit. The problem comes when it is time to tell them about my loose skin. I have been seeing a guy for almost 2 months now and the good thing is that he has accepted me and my loose skin. He actually looks past it and makes me feel like it isn't even there. There will be plenty of guys out there who won't give a **** about your loose skin and will love you for the way you are.
Gastric Bypass 8/14/08
SW: 513 lbs
CW: 250 lbs




aaron0766
on 4/4/11 12:43 pm - OH
thanks for all the feedback gang.  I appreciate it.  I really hope it all works out.
        
gman1972
on 4/5/11 10:14 pm
I am glad you posted this, cause I was going to ask the same question. I am only a month out but am feeling the same way except I am already in an LTR. Its really about how I feel about myself more than anything. After 8 years together he is going to keep me or recycle me, I hope that we are strong enough to stay together. The reality of this is that the vainity portion of this process is very real and to at some degree impacts how much effort we put into the eating and excercise portions.
I have been told that men absorb skin back better than women and that youth always helps. I am definately concerned about a flap in my belly because that is where most of my weight is/was. All this being said I am curious as to the cost of a body lift if there is other things we can do to maximize the absorbtion of the skin. I dont know specialized nutrients, meds etc?

Hugs to All
G
      
(deactivated member)
on 4/20/11 10:04 am
Three words for you... Spanx Men's Line

I fcking love my Spanx.

I'd say that I have some sag under my arms and a bit around my tummy and some in my thighs, but it's nothing crazy and no one has ever commented on it.  (And I'm down about 250)

Lotions.... If you want to attempt it... Walgreens has a generic Bio-Derm oil.  I used it and it seemed to make some what of a difference.

I also had a friend of mine who worked the cosmetic counter of Von Maur who dropped a tub of strivectin in my bag as a "congratz gift".  Did wonders to the sag in my face... tighted it up very nicely.

What part of Ohio are you from?

Tony
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