A bit of a Rant

Some of you that are regulars on this forum might know that I recently gained 20 pounds.. Can I tell you how hard that is for me to admit.. man o man that weight gain killed me because getting it off hasn't been easy BUT I have a silver lining.. a few actually. 

I was faced with something so devastating, I could never fathom losing my father at the age of 34 I truly believed my parents would live with me when they were in the 70-80's .. I didn't think my dad would land in the hospital two days before his 60th birthday and eventually pass away. It's hard to remember and it's hard to talk about it but it brought me a gift .. it brought me the knowledge that wallowing in food wasn't going to make me feel better my dad was gone.. no pie, cookie or candy was filling that void and believe me I ate enough of that stuff to try. My pants fit so tight and there was NO way I was going to buy a bigger size.. at that point I knew something had to give and it was junk food.. I have adopted all these new "rules" in regards to eating.. I try to eat lean protein, low sodium, not too many pre-packaged foods, tons of veggies and fruit, whole grains, variety of 2% cheeses, almond milk.. I could go on and on... 

I knew I had the power within me to at least for now stop with the junk and go back to the quote on quote healthy lifestyle I had adopted since having surgery ... When I got back on track I did it with baby steps.. first no junk, then after some time I really started to pay attention to what I ate, put forward a little effort planning meals, started to pick up the exercise again .. and then with those changes I lost a little more than 1/2 of what I have gained back (approx 12 pounds)  and guess what.. I did it ALL WITHOUT A FILL ..  because of my exercise I weigh more now but I'm a smaller size then I was at my lowest weight.. you gotta love exercise.

I need a fill .. and I plan on having one soon and that's beauty of the band for me.. I could of got a fill shortly after I lost my dad and got back on plan it would of helped and I might of lost all 20 pounds by now but I wanted to change.. I wanted to change some of my behaviors before I relied on fill... I'm not saying it's bad to get fill it's not.. its needed.. but don't under estimate the power you have inside as an individual... never lose sight of that.. I will and I can.. you need to adopt mantras in this journey .. I always say my journey is not race..it's not a race to a goal line of 173 pounds.. it's changing who I am.. I had lunch with some friends the other day I commented Oh so and so don't talk anymore.. they asked why? I said well she's nice and I don't mind spending time with her but she wanted to happy hour every 2 days and well most days I go to the gym after work, I love a happy hour but I can't do it 2-3 a week because then it snowballs I do happy hour drink and eat crap then the next day I follow that pattern and its easy for me to say F IT lets do happy hour again.. I have to find some control in there and really limit those happy hours to 1 a week or 1 every two weeks.. (side note.. I drink wine at home but if I drink wine at home I don't eat crap it's not like being at the bar AND it's cheaper LOL) .. After I said this to my friends they were like Wow Lizette that makes sense and in my head I thought damn did I just say that.. I always love a good party or happy hour or outting.. but something had to give.

Life had to change I couldn't continue the lifestyle I had prior to surgery it's modified for the better .. there is so much band bashing and I know people have complications they are in the group the doctors warned us about prior to surgery.. but I want everyone to know even if you fail you succeed ... if you are looking at something besides the scale.. look at all the knowledge I have gained.. even with a weight gain.. no one told us it was going to be easy at least I didn't get that memo ..

I have a fill scheduled in June and I know with the help of my adjustable BAND I will get the remaining pounds off and some additional because I have adpoted skills to change the way I approach food.. and I have modified my life for the better..

 Good for you!  I think it takes a really strong person to stand up to past eating habits and take charge.  You are doing a really great thing and I am proud of you!  You keep up the hard work and use that tool!

I'm proud of you!  Just keep moving forward to better health!  Congrats!
Kristi

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad.  I lost both of my parents when I was 20.  One was a suicide.  It is hard, but you learn to cope.  You have such a  positive attitude and have come such a long way.  I have no doubt that you will be a major success.

I understand the devastation you feel when you think of your dad.  I lost my mum 1 1/2 years ago and still can't bring myself to think of her last couple of days.  It haunts me but she is the motivation for this whole weight loss journey I'm on.  My mum was ill and overweight and then complications set in and I don't want to go down her road.  I want to be healthy and active until the day I drop.  Yeah, I expect to have hiccups along the way but living a healthy and active life is my reward and I know she'd be so proud of me.  You are able to live this dream too and everyday you challenge yourself is another day towards a long and healthy life.  Good for you!

You never know, in our journey through life, when things will happen to teach us something about ourselves.  Not everyone could have stopped to learn that lesson.  Congrats to you for being so intuned.  So sorry about your Dad.  I can relate also.

I'm so sorry for your loss. You've turned so many challenges into positives for yourself -- you should be very proud of all your hard work.

Trixie

I'm so sorry about the loss of your father.

I am so glad for you that you are getting what you need from the band. I wish you continued luck on your journey.

You DO have the power to resist the things we "shouldnt" have...

You DO have the power to work your butt off at the gym

You DO have the power to beat this disease we call obesity

You DO have the power to influence other people and make a difference... . especially me.  

Keep doing the damn thing my friend...   I heart you

sorry about your loss..  look foward to hearing your back on track