At Maintenance... Feeling guilty

I weigh 120.5 and am 5'4 tall.  I reached goal weight at 8 months, 1 week after surgery... then had my tummy tuck on Aug. 23rd.  My surgeon's office said to have 1100 calories a day.  My one year anniversary was Oct 10th, just a few weeks ago.  So I am on maintenance. I am finding that I feel extremely guilty for eating stuff I have been told I should never have again.  Example:  I share dessert with my boyfriend when we go out to eat.  This could be twice a week...  I may have 1/8 of a keylime pie, I would guess.  Sometimes at work when we have a celebration, we have cake and my coworkers gasp when I get a piece... it may take me three days to eat it... but they don't know that.  They make me feel like a heel just for having it in my hand.  I watch my weight very cautiously, and as a matter of fact, my pants are fitting looser as my swelling goes down from my tummy tuck.   Is it normal for a person who is in maintenance and a year after wls to "experiment" or go into that "forbidden" zone?  I dont do it a lot, and I am wise about HOW MUCH I eat first of all, and WHAT I eat second of all, cautious not to overdo sugar so not to dump.  BUT having said that, sometimes I do get a tummy ache and then have slight diarrhea when I get home...  so there is still that built in mechanism watching out for me.  I read every food label I get my hands on...  I dont let crap into the house, and yet I still do let myself have things that I have been told we should never have again... just in small portion/moderations. My therapist says this is normal for a person going into their second year.   What are your thoughts or experiences?  I know also that I have to be very cautious or else I could fall into a trap. 

Well, post-op people have birthdays too!  and Thanksgiving! and Christmas! Food is an inescapable part of many celebrations and social events. You have a clear idea of what you need to do.   It sounds like you are letting the scrutiny you perceive from others get you down. Hell with them - this is your life! You can say something like - glad I had this surgery, now I can eat cake!  But you, dear co-worker still have to watch every morsel that crosses your lips.  Too bad for you! OK, maybe not. Those who are watching you have no idea what you have gone through.  You are working with a therapist - perhaps they can help you to put in to perspective the feelings you have. Guilt with food was probably there before surgery too. Your weight has changed, but your relationship with food may still need some work.  It is not uncommon for people to have issues when they get to maintenance.  You now have a lot more freedom with your food - and that's the hard part!  The strict parameters of the weight loss diet are almost a comfort.  The freedom can be daunting. You are on the right track.  I am sure that there are others on the boards that share your feelings.

The key here is PORTION control.  Some people never can establish that.  Some people have trigger foods that they need to stay away from.  If you do have that control, don't feel guilty for having something.  Just keep yourself in check and make sure that you don't fall back into any old habits that helped with the gain to begin with.  If you start noticing those old habits, get a grip on them quickly.  As for people staring at what you are eating, tell them you are making choices for yourself.  This is a lifestyle change, not a life time sentence to guilt.