Can't win for losing....

So it's been almost 19 months since surgery.  I'm down 154 lbs, putting me at about 128.  I wear a size 4 or 6.  I'm thin, healthy, happy, fit.  I'm living the life I've always wanted to live.  So what's the problem?  Recently, people have been giving me their unsolicited advice that it's time to stop losing.  "You're getting too thin."  "Don't you think it's time to stop now?"  "You really shouldn't lose any more weight."  Now normally I don't give a flying rat's ass what people think.  At least I thought I didn't.  I thought I'd shed that people-pleasing tendency along with my 150 lbs of excess.  But for some reason, this bothers me.  It bothers me more than when I was obese & people told me I needed to lose weight.  It's starting to make me feel those old feelings of being under someone's microscope and being judged. 

Anyone else feel that way?

I have found the "too thin" comments very hurtful.  I was just starting to enjoy feeling good about how I looked for the first time in my life and then these unwelcome comments brought a whole new type of insecure feeling.  I try and focus on all the positive changes to date and also to remember that physical appearance is a very individual thing.  Some people prefer certain body types, shapes and sizes and they are entitled to those preferences, however, all that matters in your case is how you feel about yourself and your own preferences re: your body.  I hope the comments stop or else you find them easier to ignore in time.

People make hurtful comments about another's appearance based on their own insecurities and envy.  Enjoy your new found health, and when one makes these comments perhaps offer your own opinion on their weight, clothing style, haircut......or whatever about their appearance that person is insecure about.   Chances are it'll be the last time an individual makes an unsolicited  comment about your appearance!

Sometimes it's not said out of meanness. For some it can be a real shock as you lose weight. I wrote a post. http://diminishingdawnreturns.blogspot.ca/2011/06/you-are-too-thin.html?m=1

Great post, Dawn!

It always kind of amazes me when people think it's okay to make unsolicited comments about people's weight, whether thin or fat.  It's nice to get encouragement when you're losing weight (I guess), and to be told you look good or you're "doing great" while you're losing, but so many people don't know where to end the compliment, or the boundary lines for those kind of comments.

"You're looking great!" is fine, but too many people don't leave it at that.  "You're looking great - keep on going!" is not so great because they don't know whether you might be happy stabilizing where you are.  "You're looking great - time to stop now!" is not so great, because it's none of their business what your goal is.  "You're doing great - you'll look fabulous once you've lost another xx lbs!" is beyond the pale. ;)

Thanks Dawn for a different perspective.  :)

Simply pinch them. Right on the back of the upper arm. Go ahead it's fun! Give them a good pinch and ask if they have anymore frank appraisals for you. If they don't, well then you've helped them along in life. Good for you for seeing a problem and taking action for everyone who doesn't need some body body sticking their big nose in. If they do, well repeat as necessary. Thanks for the help old chum! 

Haha!  You always have the best advice. :D

Too thin means you are starting to make them feel fat.  

A lot of people are 20-40 lbs overweight but ignore it about themselves.  Not that you can say anything, you just have to smile. 

Also, our faces show it a bit more. 

Sometimes I say, I weigh this xxx you know.  Or my bmi still shows me as overweight.

(BTW, I passed into normal BMI for the first time this weekend!).

Or, just a 'thank you - that's so nice to hear' can drive them crazy.

PS - Floyd - you need to regain your inner zen !

I am nowhere near where you are so I have not had the pleasure but I can imagine it would be more hurtful than when you were overweight. I think I would just tell folks I am following my doctors guidelines.