Another NSV.....why do these one's make me so uncomfortable????

I understand the above poster feeling like she would do anything for your "problem", but I do wish people could look past themselves *right now* when post-ops pose questions like this to each other. I think that it is far too easy for people who are awaiting surgery and feeling misery to think that losing weight is a golden ticket to happiness and instant comfort in their new bodies. I haven't had surgery yet either, and yet I know how you are feeling! About 10 years ago I lost 180lbs in about 9 months because of Crohn's disease. Definitely not the way to do it, especially since I have gained most of it back since my remission due to surgery.

Anyway, it was especially strange that people were SO preoccupied with how I had changed physically, that people forgot that I was a person with feelings, and that just because I was slim then, didn't mean everything was hunky dory. I had no idea how to navigate the world as a "normal size" person, how to accept that people were going to treat me differently, that I would feel so preoccupied with how I looked. It got annoying to have everyone tell me how great I looked when I was actually really sick! Obviously this is not the same as having WLS, which is for better heath, but I think a lot of the emotions might be the same. It's totally confusing and not something for pre-ops to just overlook in their own preparation, or to scoff at in those who've already come close to or reached goal.

As far as people who are offering "friendly" advice where it's not really wanted, well, I say to just thank them for their concern, but that you and your team of medical professionals have it well in hand, and that's that.

Eventually people will get used to it... and I hope you do too! But don't rush yourself, you won't disappear, and neither will your emotions!

I should also add that ignoring your feelings can lead to dangerous things.... like gaining back 150lbs! I started to feel invincible once the Crohn's symptoms went away.

Thank-you, you nailed it

oh u nailed it, excellent response !!! kudos to you. 

Are you having the same weird feelings about the compliments too Arlene?

Thanks Deb and Arlene!

I am glad you posted this!!!

I have had a long wait too (the majority of us have). This is one issue that I need to be able to get my head around before surgery. I think those who have had a faster journey will find value in it too.  I understand Carol's frustrations, it gets taxing reading about NSVs and surgery dates and such but we should take the wait time we have to read these types of posts in order to better prepare ourselves post surgery.

I have and will only tell a chosen few about my surgery. Maybe I am ashamed and worried about what others think, I don't know. I do know it's no ones business but my own and I will be selective in who I tell...that leads me to Mona's post.

No doubt we will all have this same type of encounter.  I have been wondering how to I will cope with them (not a brag) when the time comes. I know I will most likely get angry at some point as I work in a fairly public job and I know there will come a time when I will just want to blurt out - LEAVE ME ALONE AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

LOL yes people mean well (at least most do) but after awhile I think you just want to be seen as yourself. Just a normal person without any kind of issue associated with weight....so Thank You Mona it's another one of those things I will have to prepare myself for post-op.

Kindest regards Jo

Thank-you for the support. I agree with you completely, people pre-op do need to know that it's good to be prepared for the emotional " stuff " that comes with the weight loss, especially when so much focus is being put towards something that you've tried to hide forever.....your weight. I thought I was prepared to handle this part of the journey, I thought that I would love being showered with compliments and, don't get me wrong, initially they are great and motivating. It just feels uncomfortable after a while and it seems that weight becomes the focus of too many initiated conversations from others.

I am pre-op and this is exactly one of my worries. I don't want to spend so much of my life focussed on my weight; whether it be  too much weight or too little. Sure, pre-op one needs to focus on learning about WLS and post-op nutrition/exercise etc. but post-op I hope that I can just get on with living a healthy engaged life!

The one that made me uncomfortable is the one co-worker who calls me "skinny *****" .. I don't mind it so much now that I am getting used to it but when I was only half way to where I am now it made me feel weird