Back on track

I've been a way for a while debating what the hell I have done to myself and that I was given a second chance at life and screwing it up. I am crystal and I'm a junk fat food addict. I had my RYN nov 6 2012 I have done warrior dash ran my first 5 km and ran a 10 km on my own and I encourage my 13 year old to take up running. I am letting myself down. I no longer count protein cars cal anything I eat and eat junk. I do dump but I seem not to care if I do and deal with the aftermath . I began my journey here and have made some great friends and support people. I disconnected from everyone the last year and have been killing myself with the same old foods that got me unhealthy at fat. I am not looking for advise as I am aware what I need to be doing and how to do it. I simply want anyone else who is going through what I am know there not alone and the daily struggles are real post op and in maintaince . We chose to take our lives back keep fighting even if you lose your way. As we are worth it. I am writing my confessions. I eat chocolate I hide food I eat lots of carbs . I am not ashamed as I chose to make bad choices. My goal is lose lose the 25 lbs I gained and get my butt to working out and eating what I need to . I have also been drinking . You can have drinks at a year out but not recommended . I too have abuse it . I know I need to get my crap together and the first step is to realize you have issues and not keep it to yourself and seek help. My help is OH. See you around daily to check in with everyone and speak up about my gains goals and all the bad and ugly

welcome back.. we had surgery a week apart (with the same amazing surgeon).. Good luck getting back on track... you can do it :) 

I get it!!

Dealing with maintenance is not easy. I am sorry you are off track. Would seeing someone about your eating at your centre help? Good luck with getting back to goal

Honestly no. I need to make good choices for my success . Very simple .... But hard to do. Wishing for a better year 2015

Thank you for sharing. It's not easy to admit our weaknesses but so important to share them here. I admit I wonder if I will have the same struggles. I had my surgery in May 2014 and gave myself til May of 2015 to lose 90lbs. So far I have lost 65lbs. Right now I am losing effortlessly (honeymoon phase) but wonder how hard it will be after. I have struggled my whole life with being a food addict. I don't have the cravings I used to but confess I do eat junk food occasionally. When you have been doing something for 40 yrs it doesn't just stop! Your post reminds me that we need to not let the junk food demons take over our lives and it will be a struggle. It sounds like you're ready to fight the battle. Good luck to you! 

Thanks for sharing this Crystal. You and I had our surgeries one day apart and I also find myself struggling with the same issues that you are.

I haven't had the same amount of regain - my lowest weight was 175, and now I fluctuate up and down in the 180's, which is comfortable for me right now.  BUT - despite not being unhappy with the scale, I also see bad patterns emerging in myself - similar ones to yours. Crap food? Definitely. And alcohol - yep. I am not drinking any more now than I did before surgery, but I can't handle the liquor the way I used to because of the surgery, which means I get drunk very quickly, and I think I seriously need to give my liver a break and stop drinking altogether, at least for now. I also need to learn how to socialize without an alcoholic drink in my hand when I go out for supper or go to parties - I've noticed during my years of living in Toronto, but especially since surgery, that socializing here is very alcohol-heavy.

I'm really glad you posted this. I've also come to the conclusion that it's time to get serious again about the food, about the tracking, and about the exercise, especially now that I've developed RH. I wish you lots of success in 2015!

Wow! I came on OH tonight to confess same as you and its like you took the words right out of my mouth! May2012, I was reborn and here I am killing myself with no one to blame but me! 

Seems to be something about the two year slump!! I have found diminishingdawn to be very inspiring on here! As well Karen, even though I have moved out of province now- there is nothing like the momentum and life on the Ontario forum! 

Keep it up! Back to basics for me tomorrow with pouch test!

thanks, 

kelsey

We got this. Just got to smarten up and kick its butt. It's hard but we can do this . We did it for a long time before we got it again. Add me if you like I can kick your but you can do the same.... Cheers to a fresh start