Family support--odd question

This is such an odd question but everyone wants to come to the hospital when I have my surgery...mom, dad, sister, boyfriend, and friends.  I really appreciate the support but  with all of the expected pain (my doctor makes the pouches really small and uses a lot of gas to make sure there are no leaks), I'm not so sure I want everyone to come right away.  The people that I know that have used the same surgeon all say it hurts worse than natural childbirth and I don't want to snap at anyone or anything.  I feel really guilty because I just want one person there and everyone else can come when I'm in my room.  What do you guys think?

I think you should get whatever your heart desires. It sounds like you have a great support system so I'm sure they will understand if you want them to wait a few days. Don't ever feel bad about asking for what you want or need after surgery from family, friends or the hospital. Or it could be they just want to see what kind of silly and embarrassing things you say while still under the effects of anesthesia..lol I have a few that would do that. Good luck with your surgery! 

 You can have whomever you want there. My husband was the only one who came with me, but my family lives in another state now, so it wasn't realistic for them to be there. I will say that natural childbirth hurt a lot worse in my case!  :)  When I had my kids, I wouldn't let my parents in the room. They had to wait out in the hall and listen to me yell and cuss. 

No odd question ever, have you read the past posts LOL...  honesty I know how you feel, I didnt even want my mother there... but she ended up being there, My husband and mother, are the only ones who was there, Mom was there the day of surgery, my husband never left.  I did not tell many what I was going through, only my parents and sister an a few select friends. I was feeling insecure and did not want everyone making a scene, fussing over me, standing around staring at me, like what can they do..lol.. All I wanted was my husband. I did get guilted over with my mother since she is in very bad health and her time with us is limited, So I let her come.

I know it can be hard to confront the situation and not hurt anyones feelings, but to have them understand your wishes, they should be ok. This is soley your decision, as it is to have this surgery, you do not want anything to make you uncomfortable, and if you feel better about limiting who comes, thats your right, not to feel bad or like your doing something wrong, just tell them, nothing personal, but you would rather have them wait an stay home right now. They can see you at your home when your up to it. ..

on the other hand, if you feel like its a situation you can handle, let them entertain them selves, they will be the ones sitting around being bored while your in surgery and recovery..lol.. and then when your in your room, you will not be awake much soon after.. til the nurses come in - oh what fun..lol.. but.. the ones who choose to come, will be so bored..

oh and I would not compare what others say about pain, yes, the gas is uncomfortable, but personally, I did not have much pain from the RNY, I had the pain from hernia repair, it was awful, but only if I moved and I had pain meds.. it helps alot.. and I had 3 kids.. heck no was it more painful than child birth.. I had no meds with my kids.. so nooo..this surgery was a breeze..many others had told me too, that it was not very painful.. and when I went home from hospital.. I took no pain meds.. nada.. no I am not exaggerating if some may think there is no way.. yes way.. not that I am super woman, but I tried them 1 xs, got sick.. I said heck with it.. now if I had something I could take with out feeling sick, I would have..lol.. 

Bottom line, this is your decision, some like people around some dont.  and in pre op.. thats the waitin room for us.. at my hopital, only 2 was allowed back at a time, and with all the active hallways with nurses, less people traffic the better.. we sat there for 4 hours, previous surgery before me took longer, so I had to wait longer.. oh and another thing.. they will make sure your comfortable and not in much pain, so do not worry you will be fine.. best wishes!

I think its nice of them; but I felt the same way you did. I preferred for just my husband to be there. A friend visited me on the second day for just fifteen minutes and that was more than enough. I was happiest alone, just resting and feeling like I didn't have to make conversation. Just tell your nurse you don't want visitors and let your family know they would only be allowed in for ten or fifteen minutes.

A few friends came to visit me and I ended up throwing up in a basin at one visit (they left quickly) and having to run to the bathroom in my lovely revealing gown during another. If you can nicely ask  your support people to wait until you are at home and comfortable they will no doubt understand. No Guilt!!! Not a productive emotion!!!!!!!!!  Jenny T

Not an odd question at all. This is your day have it the way you want.

I know I'm behind but I'm catching up! I barely told anyone but my immediate family, bf and a few close friends...my mom and bro came while I was in recovery...I barely knew they were there. My BF and mom came the other days but I told everyone else to stay home. I was concentrating on being comfortable and breathing deeply, not on entertaining. Just text them and let them know you're ok :) They should be good with waiting. Good Luck!

Thanks everyone. Surgery is tomorrow so I'm praying it all goes smoothly.  My mom and bf are coming. My sister and friends are coming later. My dad is having his own surgery this week so I told him to stay home. If all goes well, I'll only be in the hospital for one day. Thanks to everyone for being so supportive.