Emotions after RNY??
Hi-everyone,I'm hoping to have RNY soon, I was wondering if anyone could post on this, like what kinda emotions I might experience ,I already feel alone in this except for reading OH post and what others experience,I haven't talked to family yet and my daughter thinks its stupid to have WLS,anything would be great!
Hello Gracie5,
For one thing, you are not alone. There are alot of us out here that hear your concerns. For me, I had considered RNY for a few years until my health left me no choice. I made the decision and then went full throttle to complete what I had to do. I never looked back. I am very happy with my decision to have the bypass done. Only you can decide what is right for you. Not your daughter or family or friends. Sure you can hear thier concerns but in the end its your life, your health and your decision. Do what is right for you. In my case, my health was the same risk as having the surgery. It wasn't a hard decision to make. Just remember we are hear if you need us.
For one thing, you are not alone. There are alot of us out here that hear your concerns. For me, I had considered RNY for a few years until my health left me no choice. I made the decision and then went full throttle to complete what I had to do. I never looked back. I am very happy with my decision to have the bypass done. Only you can decide what is right for you. Not your daughter or family or friends. Sure you can hear thier concerns but in the end its your life, your health and your decision. Do what is right for you. In my case, my health was the same risk as having the surgery. It wasn't a hard decision to make. Just remember we are hear if you need us.
Ever been on a roller coaster?
Can you clarify, do you mean getting ready to have RNY, or post op?
Does your daughter have any reasons or defense as to why she thinks WLS is 'stupid'? How old is she and do you have co-morbidities that are affecting your health and lifestyle?
Have you started the process with a surgeon?
For me, it took about 8 months from beginning the process to having surgery, so there was plenty of time for all kinds of emotions.
At first, I was very excited - at last, an answer to my obesity problem. I had struggled with my weight for years, doing WW, Atkins, etc. Each time I 'dieted', I gained 10 lbs. Then it was apprehension; as I took the classes with the psych and explored all my issues, I wondered if I was just too lazy to do it on my own. Hearing others stories about non-supportive family members made me anxious.
My immediate family knew of course, and several friends, but I waited to make an announcement to my family until a week before my surgery. Surprisingly, they were very supportive. A few made thoughtless comments (My dad said 'the only exercise you need is to push yourself away from the table' - just f*ing brilliant, dad, thanks!)
As my surgery got closer I alternated between excitement and nervousness - would I be OK, it's not too late to back out, will I wake up?, will it work?
Immediately post op (day 1 thru 4 months post op, probably) I alternated between excitement at seeing lbs lost, and thinking WTF did I do? Sometimes I struggled with eating, not being able to eat, will I ever eat XXX again?, why isn't the scale moving?, why is everyone complimenting me now, did I look THAT BAD before?.
About 4 months out, things started being more like 80% good, like WOW, I feel good. I can bend over and paint my toenails. I have lost X lbs. I can shop in regular sizes. Why did I wait so long to do this for myself. With the occasional, WTH? have I done? and a rare Why did I eat THAT? when things weren't agreeing with my pouch.
Now, I am feeling great. I would say that if you did not KNOW I had had surgery, and you were eating a meal with me, you would not guess that I was any different form anyone else. I make good food choices 90% of the time, which is acceptable to me. I have been able to maintain my loss for a good bit now, I don't remember the exact date I hit 'goal'. But in August 2010, I was 20 lbs heavier than I am now (I know that because I had a goal to be at 80 lbs lost at my nephews wedding, and I was). My weight fluctuates 2-5 lbs, based on what I have eaten and the time of the month, but I don't freak about it, I just get back on track if needed.
Right now, I could not be happier about my decision to have surgery. At 42 (really really close to 43), I feel healthier and more active than I have for 15 years. I am so looking forward to happy and healthy and active golden years with my honey, knowing that I will never again have to look ahead for the next bench to stop and rest at, because I just can't keep going. My excess weight was holding me back and keeping me from so much in lilfe. I did not have any co-morbidities, but I was surely heading for diabetes and probably sleep apnea. Now my labs are good and I feel great!
If your daughter is old enough to understand health issues and risks, I would have a heart to heart with her. Explain that you want to be able to see her grow up and older, and have grandchildren etc. Keep reading people's stories on OH, and if your surgeon has support groups, try to go to a few to hear other's stories.
Most of all, decide what is right for YOU, and then get it for yourself. You are worth it, and you are not alone in this.
Julie
Can you clarify, do you mean getting ready to have RNY, or post op?
Does your daughter have any reasons or defense as to why she thinks WLS is 'stupid'? How old is she and do you have co-morbidities that are affecting your health and lifestyle?
Have you started the process with a surgeon?
For me, it took about 8 months from beginning the process to having surgery, so there was plenty of time for all kinds of emotions.
At first, I was very excited - at last, an answer to my obesity problem. I had struggled with my weight for years, doing WW, Atkins, etc. Each time I 'dieted', I gained 10 lbs. Then it was apprehension; as I took the classes with the psych and explored all my issues, I wondered if I was just too lazy to do it on my own. Hearing others stories about non-supportive family members made me anxious.
My immediate family knew of course, and several friends, but I waited to make an announcement to my family until a week before my surgery. Surprisingly, they were very supportive. A few made thoughtless comments (My dad said 'the only exercise you need is to push yourself away from the table' - just f*ing brilliant, dad, thanks!)
As my surgery got closer I alternated between excitement and nervousness - would I be OK, it's not too late to back out, will I wake up?, will it work?
Immediately post op (day 1 thru 4 months post op, probably) I alternated between excitement at seeing lbs lost, and thinking WTF did I do? Sometimes I struggled with eating, not being able to eat, will I ever eat XXX again?, why isn't the scale moving?, why is everyone complimenting me now, did I look THAT BAD before?.
About 4 months out, things started being more like 80% good, like WOW, I feel good. I can bend over and paint my toenails. I have lost X lbs. I can shop in regular sizes. Why did I wait so long to do this for myself. With the occasional, WTH? have I done? and a rare Why did I eat THAT? when things weren't agreeing with my pouch.
Now, I am feeling great. I would say that if you did not KNOW I had had surgery, and you were eating a meal with me, you would not guess that I was any different form anyone else. I make good food choices 90% of the time, which is acceptable to me. I have been able to maintain my loss for a good bit now, I don't remember the exact date I hit 'goal'. But in August 2010, I was 20 lbs heavier than I am now (I know that because I had a goal to be at 80 lbs lost at my nephews wedding, and I was). My weight fluctuates 2-5 lbs, based on what I have eaten and the time of the month, but I don't freak about it, I just get back on track if needed.
Right now, I could not be happier about my decision to have surgery. At 42 (really really close to 43), I feel healthier and more active than I have for 15 years. I am so looking forward to happy and healthy and active golden years with my honey, knowing that I will never again have to look ahead for the next bench to stop and rest at, because I just can't keep going. My excess weight was holding me back and keeping me from so much in lilfe. I did not have any co-morbidities, but I was surely heading for diabetes and probably sleep apnea. Now my labs are good and I feel great!
If your daughter is old enough to understand health issues and risks, I would have a heart to heart with her. Explain that you want to be able to see her grow up and older, and have grandchildren etc. Keep reading people's stories on OH, and if your surgeon has support groups, try to go to a few to hear other's stories.
Most of all, decide what is right for YOU, and then get it for yourself. You are worth it, and you are not alone in this.
Julie
Thanks so much for info,I'm 52 my daughter is 34,she says "it's stupid" I did have heart to heart maybe shes just scared of something going wrong, Yes I have been to surgeon all has been done doctors office supposed to submit paperwork next week,when and if I get the approval I'm going to tell family,I'm excited about it, but worried insurance won't approve me?? My BMI 36.9, very high blood pressure,my weight is 242! Thanks for everything you told me it really helps,will keep you posted.
I think you'll find that people will surprise you. Those you expect to be in your corner, won't be. Those you expect a fight from will be supportive. Some may start out happy for you only to become jealous or envious later. Those that were most against it in the beginning are now my biggest cheerleaders. Keep in mind that you won't be the only one going through emotions, those around you are very likely to be responding from a place of fear.
My husband told me the other night that my decision was very difficult and painful for him because he was so afraid of complications or even death. But he was and still is incredibly supportive. He watched me do my homework. I would watch YouTube vlogs that people did weekly after their surgery and kept notes and developed my questions for my surgeon from them. At night I would come to bed and tell him what I watched the night before.
You will go through a lot of emotions and as a friend told me, you'll likely second guess your decision until the minute they put you out for the surgery. You'll go from feeling it's the best decision in the world for you, to the worst and everything in between. I remember reading OH the night before surgery only to read a post about someone who had died on the table during his surgery. Yeah, I needed that.
In the end, I had to trust that I did all of my homework, had a good support group, and more than anything was prepared to do whatever it took to be successful. It's the best decision I've ever made for mysel and although part of me wishes I had done it sooner, I also realize that mentally I wasn't ready.
Do what is best for YOU. Everyone will have opinions but you have to make the best decision for you and your health. Write down all the reasons why you want to do this? What are your goals or desired outcomes. For me, it wasn't about looking better, it was about FEELING better. My BP & Cholesterol are down. I spent two hours doing yard work today, bending, reaching, climbing, lifting...and was a guest bartender for 4 hours tonight and I'm still going strong. I couldn't have done that a year ago. I may be stiff tomorrow but nothing that some stretching won't take care of.
It's a whole new world with tons of possibilities. Oh, and the best answer I found to silence the "critics" was "I'm working with a team of medical professionals to determine what is best for me and my health...I appreciate your feedback, but we've got this." Good luck and hang in there.
My husband told me the other night that my decision was very difficult and painful for him because he was so afraid of complications or even death. But he was and still is incredibly supportive. He watched me do my homework. I would watch YouTube vlogs that people did weekly after their surgery and kept notes and developed my questions for my surgeon from them. At night I would come to bed and tell him what I watched the night before.
You will go through a lot of emotions and as a friend told me, you'll likely second guess your decision until the minute they put you out for the surgery. You'll go from feeling it's the best decision in the world for you, to the worst and everything in between. I remember reading OH the night before surgery only to read a post about someone who had died on the table during his surgery. Yeah, I needed that.
In the end, I had to trust that I did all of my homework, had a good support group, and more than anything was prepared to do whatever it took to be successful. It's the best decision I've ever made for mysel and although part of me wishes I had done it sooner, I also realize that mentally I wasn't ready.
Do what is best for YOU. Everyone will have opinions but you have to make the best decision for you and your health. Write down all the reasons why you want to do this? What are your goals or desired outcomes. For me, it wasn't about looking better, it was about FEELING better. My BP & Cholesterol are down. I spent two hours doing yard work today, bending, reaching, climbing, lifting...and was a guest bartender for 4 hours tonight and I'm still going strong. I couldn't have done that a year ago. I may be stiff tomorrow but nothing that some stretching won't take care of.
It's a whole new world with tons of possibilities. Oh, and the best answer I found to silence the "critics" was "I'm working with a team of medical professionals to determine what is best for me and my health...I appreciate your feedback, but we've got this." Good luck and hang in there.
HW: 280 SW: 262.5 CW: 150
GOAL!!!! One week shy of my surgiversary!
LBL, TT, BA on 3/2/12 - Dr William Rigano
GOAL!!!! One week shy of my surgiversary!
LBL, TT, BA on 3/2/12 - Dr William Rigano
Thank you soo much for info, I can relate to alot of things you stated already,at least I can kinda know what to expect emotionally,I have done alot of homework on this and been thinking about this for 2 years,I also just what to be healthy and feel better, I love to work in yard ,ride bikes,and its so hard to do this when your so overweight, I'm excited about it,my paperwork supposed to be submitted next week to insurance ,I really appreciate your reply!!
Would I do it again? Yes, even though I am only 4 months out. Would I stand on a rooftop and say to the world "this is the best thing ever", No.
I don't regret my decision, no, not at all, but there are hard days, no way around it.
I have changed many clothes sizes, can run up stairs now, job 2 miles , hike, kayak, not worry about if a chair will hold me or not. Not having my weight be the forefront of my "issues"
I take all my meds and am now anemic, I get muscle cramps everynight in my legs even though I am hydrated and taking mag/pott. supplements. I loathe food at times now and more often than not , Ido not like to eat. I am an emotional rollercoaster. I get angry, mad, happy all in 5 minutes now. My hormones are crazy. Drinking water is my life now. I have to constantly drink to get what my body needs a day. I have been to the ER a few times due to dehydration.
Would I do it again, yes. It is worth it, at this point. But it is scary at times.
Sometimes I think , "what did i do to myself" "maybe I should have just dieted one more time" even though I have been dieting my "whole" life. I get worried that the defficiencies may be worse than the complications of obesity. I was seeing a therapist before surgery and afterwards. It has helped me a lot. Very few of us got overweight by just eating too much, a lot of emotions are invloved with "loosing" a good "friend and confidant" like food. You may mourn this loss, I have. You will have to find better things to help you when you are sad, happy, mad, stressed than food now. It can be difficult, it has been for me. Friends and family are VITAL at this point.
Would I do it again, Yes! I wish you the best of luck my biggest advice is the mental "stuff" is the hardest.
I don't regret my decision, no, not at all, but there are hard days, no way around it.
I have changed many clothes sizes, can run up stairs now, job 2 miles , hike, kayak, not worry about if a chair will hold me or not. Not having my weight be the forefront of my "issues"
I take all my meds and am now anemic, I get muscle cramps everynight in my legs even though I am hydrated and taking mag/pott. supplements. I loathe food at times now and more often than not , Ido not like to eat. I am an emotional rollercoaster. I get angry, mad, happy all in 5 minutes now. My hormones are crazy. Drinking water is my life now. I have to constantly drink to get what my body needs a day. I have been to the ER a few times due to dehydration.
Would I do it again, yes. It is worth it, at this point. But it is scary at times.
Sometimes I think , "what did i do to myself" "maybe I should have just dieted one more time" even though I have been dieting my "whole" life. I get worried that the defficiencies may be worse than the complications of obesity. I was seeing a therapist before surgery and afterwards. It has helped me a lot. Very few of us got overweight by just eating too much, a lot of emotions are invloved with "loosing" a good "friend and confidant" like food. You may mourn this loss, I have. You will have to find better things to help you when you are sad, happy, mad, stressed than food now. It can be difficult, it has been for me. Friends and family are VITAL at this point.
Would I do it again, Yes! I wish you the best of luck my biggest advice is the mental "stuff" is the hardest.
***ADRIENNE**
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