4 weeks post-op & my sister still hasn't acknowledged my surgery

She lives in Europe but we talk/email regularly. I'm not sure if I should bring it up or just take this as a painful reminder that she doesn't know how to support me. When I emailed her that I was having the surgery she responded by saying the typical things like, "it's the easy way out." Sadly, she went on to tell me that she was having her own trouble and couldn't deal with my "childish need" for her attention. *sigh* So, I guess I'm writing about this here because I wanted to see if anyone else had experienced this sort of familial denial after surgery? Thanks, Kim

I'm not really sure what you should do, but I empathize.  I have two sisters who I see often. One sister is always super supportive and complimentary. The other, never mentions my surgery or weight loss. I've decided it's her problem. I think she's jealous and unhappy in her own life, so she can't talk about mine.

A person whom I believed to be my best friend for YEARS ended up being like  that once I got down below her weight.  Only she didnt take it out on me, she took it out on my fiance - so I ..uhm.."ripped her a new one"  so to speak =D  -- I'm sorry you're going through this with family though - not exactly someone you can tell to go away if they bother you :(

I so can relate. Neither of my sisters have acknowkedged my surgery either. I saw my sister a few weeks after my surgery and she never even asked me how I was feeling. It hurts but I have to try not to let it bother me. They are both younger than me and wrapped up in their own lives.

My sister has not acknowledged my surgery either. She is a pretty self absorbed person anyway so its not surprising. I live in Maine and she lives in Alabama and was up to visit family 4 weeks after my surgery and never mentioned anything. When I told her about having surgery and what I had already lost pre op she just said if I could lose weight pre op then I should cancel the surgery. She is probably about 100 pounds soaking wet and doesn't get it. Its frustrating but I just know she is definitely NOT the one to seek support from. I will not bring up my surgery to her. Its her problem..whatever it is and I just am grateful for the people in my life who are supportive. Good Luck!

I am so lucky that all of my siblings (3 sis & 2 bro, none of which have weight problems) have been very supportive, as well as the rest of my family & all of my friends. You just have to admit to yourself that not everyone understands the need for WLS. This is HER problem, not yours. Limit the exposure to toxic people in your life.

I have 2 sisters, love them both to death!! They both have weight issues as well. My baby sister has been sooooo supportive and calls and asks updates. The middle sister never wanted me to have the surgery because there could be complications which I was totally aware of. Now that it is over she is proud of me but makes it clear that she wants to get her weight off before I get smaller than her even though I had diabetes and leg issues. i hate to believe that she is a little jealous but it sure seems that way. As close as we are I still sense the feeling. I think that jealousy is a very green monster.

BTDT

My baby sister that also has a weight problem (although not MO) didn't acknowledge my loss either.  The ONE time she said something after I reached goal was that I take too many vitamins I don't need that many and I'm going to overdose. AND, that I looked sick losing so much weight.

She still to this day has never said I looked good since I lost weight.

I'm almost 13 months out and not ONE TIME has my mother-in-law said anything about my WLS.  She's very self absorbed and if it doesn't involve her, she's not interested.  Funny part is that my bro and sis in laws have all made postitive comments in her presence and she's never chimed in or acknowledged it.  It's like she can't bring herself to say something encouraging...or nice.

Her loss.  



 

So sorry to hear that. Nobody can fight, hurt or love like sisters.  They definitely
know where to strike.  sigh.  With that said, love her for being your sister,
but get your support from friends and others who will be proud of the work
you're doing and happy for your results.  Your sis sounds like she's jealous
of your success and perhaps your ability to move forward with your life.  At any
rate, YOU can be happy.  I applaud your success and your decision to take
charge of your life and do something to make it better.