When will it ever be enough (not so much about weight loss, but have to get it off my...

Hello OH,

I started this jorney process with my husband and right befor my surgery we seperated.  We have just recently gotten back together  and it's has just been horrible.  I have lost weight, but it does not feel like a enough to me, but my husband is still just so not supportive of anything in my life. If it is not about him then I can just forget it.  I am almost 4 months out and now that I cant eat much, but I have started to drink alcohol.  I know I am not suppose to and its bad for me, but I just dont know how to handle my issues right now.  I am so tired of being hurt by this man. I was feeling good about my self and then he goes out and does something like he did this weekend and it just makes my self esteem go wayyyyy down again.  This past weekend we went out with some friends and he continued to flirt with one on my friends all night until the point I had to just get up and walk out and leave.  I can't take it any more and all I have been thinking about today is having a drink. Im so depressed right now. Then also this morning I could not find my work badge and then I looked in the arm rest and it was thrown in there. He did that when he used my truck to go to a friends. It feels like whatever I do is not enough. I losing weight, providing for us and I can win for losing. I know its weired for me to air my business out but I have to get it off my chest.

If it hasn't gotten any better by now or this douche brings no positive aspects to your life then it is time to move on and enjoy the new you. 

*** DOUBLE LIKE***  I totally agree with Paul...... you deserve better

Yep...you need to get rid of this LOSER. Put down the beer!! You deserve alot better than him and sabatoging your success with alchohol. Do give him what he wants..aka your failure. If he is flirting with someone he's a worthless ***. Concentrate on YOU. You had surgery for YOU..right. Well it's time to tell him a few choice words and get rid of him and concentrate on YOU. And if you are supporting the both of you. He is a LOSER. Make him take care of himself and his whims. You can do it. He's not worth being with you. PERIOD!!

All I can say is some advice given to me by my Dad during my divorce from my first husband....It has been sound advice for 40 some years...."Life is TOO short to be miserable !!!"   Get out and make a better life for yourself.  Hugs....it will get better !!!!

You are finding out, as so many people in rough marriages do after WLS, that the problem(s) in the marriage had very little (if anything) to do with your weight.  Many people (not necessarily you) expect that once they lose the weight, many of their problems will just go away because they think the problems are weight related or that they will be able to deal with the problems without having to  deal with their weight, health problems, weight-related depression.  It rarely works out that way.

Transfer addiction is common after WLS.  Please do NOT start down the road of drinking instead of eating to soothe yourself.  If your husband is still making you miserable, why are you continuing to attempt to reconcile with him?  Getting out of the relationship with him -- if he is not willing to change and you two cannot work on these issues together -- is MUCH more healthy than continuing to be in a relationship that makes your self esteem plummet and causes you to want to drink. 

Regardless of whether you choose to stay with him or not, I think individual counseling would be helpful for you.

Lora

I agree with Paul, if it has not gotten any better it probably won't. Kick his butt to the curb. I learned that wether I am fat or not there is someone out there that will love me and treat me with so much respect. And I did. He loves me no matter what and has been so supportive of any decisions I make, and just like I have him, there is someone out there for you that will love you and respect you no matter what. But as long as you let him keep treating you like this he will continue. Put your foot down! you have been given such a gift, use is get healty and learn to love yourself. Alochol is not the answer, I know form experince it only makes things worse. You are a beautiful. You need to be treated like the only woman in the room,

Thank you all for your replies. It is time for me to let him go and to focus on myself. I am going to be strong and not give in. Thanks again.

 Sounds like you know what you have to do.  Most importantly stay away from the booze and secondly get rid of the loser!  You have just started the most amazing time of your life and you deserve to be happy.  DO NOT LET SOMEONE ELSE DICTATE YOUR SELF WORTH!!  He is insecure, jealous and ignorant you deserve better.  You have been given a second chance at life with this surgery, work hard on yourself and get everything you can out of it! Don't let the stress cause you to over eat or orver drink because the only person that will hurt is YOU and you don't deserve that.

good luck to you

You can do it cream. You are worth it. Think of yourself because he certainly isn't. I say ditch him and the alcohol and see the beautiful person you really are .