DOH!! Learning by doing (read as, 'making mistakes')

So today was my last day on an FMLA LOA. I've been feeling pretty good...getting more and more accustomed to being more than satisfied with the smaller portions and limited menu options as per my post-op program...so much so that it is becoming second nature (or so I like to think)...

Anyway, I had an appointment with my career coach near Old Orchard Mall in Skokie and my wife had asked me to pick something up for her in the Macy's located there. On my way in, I realized that it was only a three-floor walk back up and so I made a mental note to make sure that I used the stairs after I had transacted my business with Macy's.

Today in the Chicagoland area was, wet, cold and very, very windy but none of this registered with me as I was making my way back to my truck. Once I found the doorway leading to the stairs I went to open it...never mind that the wind was blowing against the door making it seem like it weighs about a hundred pounds (it's freaking heavy to begin with, anyway) and so I compensate (pull harder) and get the door open after all...except that I was using my left arm to do it...and I immediately felt what I thought was some serious pain all throughout my left-hand side...

Again, fatalist that I am, I'm convinced that I've destroyed the work of my surgeon and that even if a repair is possible, I've ruined everything....

Well, I am now more convinced that all I did was pull probably damn near every muscle in my left side as they've not been used, really in over 2 weeks...(just what did I expect to happen?)....since this afternoon I've been taking in fluids, had lunch and everything seems to be as it has been (my new normal, I guess)...one thing about this new configuration is that IF there is something wrong, it won't take long for it to become apparent....

Note to self: PAY ATTENTION...Don't strain unnecessarily....remember that it wasn't even three (3) weeks ago...

 Not to say that you couldn't have possibly done something wrong, but they wouldn't let you out of the hospital if you were so fragile that opening a door on a windy day would injure you weeks after your surgery.

About a month after a laparotomy (open abdominal surgery for female problems), I was crossing a street when an SUV hit me.  I went flying about thirty feet and landed on my head in a snowbank.  As I regained consciousness on the street, I could tell that my abdomen was hurting really bad.  There were other things that hurt, but I was really afraid about what had happened to my surgery.  At the hospital, I completely ignored my broken leg, my concussion, my extreme whiplash, and the mass of bruises and scrapes that covered my body.  No, my first question, and my continued question to every care provider was whether I had damaged my surgery.  I asked for additional tests, which they said I didn't need.  

A week later, I went to my surgeon's office just to make sure.  She told me that everything was just fine, and that my symptoms were consistent with muscle strain.  She sent me on my way, wondering why I'd even made an appointment.  

It's normal to feel vulnerable, but there's no reason to worry about things until you have symptoms that support it.  Sure, you strained something... but it probably had nothing to do with your bypass.  :)

HOLY CRAP!!

You were hit by someone driving an SUV? A real one or is it like mine (it wants to be an SUV when it grows up)?

Nonetheless, I do hope that you sued his/her ass off...you coulda been killed!!! 

Glad that you are OK, now...but I'd be freaking out like nothing anyone has ever seen!!!

 Yep... a real SUV.   About a week later, when I was feeling a little less like death warmed over, I started to plan a trip to Disney World, because I figured that was the only reasonable response to such a ridiculous piece of bad luck.

For the record, my brother has worse luck than me.  He got struck by lightning.  Twice.

(cue music: 'When You Wish Upon a Star')

(voice over) "Jennifer M.! You've just survived a collision with an SUV in which you suffered a broken leg, a serious concussion, severe whiplash and various scrapes and contusions!!! What are you going to do next?"

"I'm going to Walt Disney World!!"

 EXACTLY!  You and I think alike!  Must be the Twins connection.