4 yrs out, I've failed, diabetes worse than ever :(
Feeling like you should just eat your way back up to 350 is a little like someone saying, "Well, my car is already off the road, I guess I should just drive over the edge of the cliff."
Honey, why on earth would you do that to yourself? If things are already bad, why make them even worse?
It sounds like you KNOW exactly what you have to do-- take those supplements (get chewables if you don't like taking pills. Everything but my iron is chewable), stick to a healthier eating plan, and start seeking some mental help. Depression and bipolar disorder are no laughing matter and shouldn't be ignored or taken lightly. You can't hope to live a healthy lifestyle if your mind isn't healthy. That's the basis for all your decisions, and you can't possibly build a solid sructure on an unstable foundation.
I wish you all the luck in the world, and hope everything starts looking up for you. You just have to take control and DO it.
Honey, why on earth would you do that to yourself? If things are already bad, why make them even worse?
It sounds like you KNOW exactly what you have to do-- take those supplements (get chewables if you don't like taking pills. Everything but my iron is chewable), stick to a healthier eating plan, and start seeking some mental help. Depression and bipolar disorder are no laughing matter and shouldn't be ignored or taken lightly. You can't hope to live a healthy lifestyle if your mind isn't healthy. That's the basis for all your decisions, and you can't possibly build a solid sructure on an unstable foundation.
I wish you all the luck in the world, and hope everything starts looking up for you. You just have to take control and DO it.
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Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
I am 5 years out and struggle each and every day also. But I knew going into this it was a fight for my life. I will continue to fight and not let anything get me down or in my way. EVEN MYSELF! You need to remember that this is ONLY A TOOL and how you utilize/embrace/optimize the TOOL you elected to have it up to you. You have to remember that no matter what, this is a life long WORK in PROGRESS and you have to have the inner strength to keep up with the outter. How you feel inside is how you feel and look outside. You have to keep moving forward and not ever give up.
My surgery was 12/07/2007 I was 316 morning of surgery. I have fought my way down to 165 and plan on staying there. I have been 165 for years... and I fight to keep myself there day after day. I truly deeply feel that this TOOL I have been blessed with is exactly that... a LIFELONG TOOL. It is up to me each and every day to be a success or failure. I do not compare myself to others, why, because we are all unique and all have our own personal battles. Take care of you, you are the only one who is in charge of that... YOU! So take charge and get on track!
My surgery was 12/07/2007 I was 316 morning of surgery. I have fought my way down to 165 and plan on staying there. I have been 165 for years... and I fight to keep myself there day after day. I truly deeply feel that this TOOL I have been blessed with is exactly that... a LIFELONG TOOL. It is up to me each and every day to be a success or failure. I do not compare myself to others, why, because we are all unique and all have our own personal battles. Take care of you, you are the only one who is in charge of that... YOU! So take charge and get on track!
I don't have Asperger's syndrome (to my knowledge, lol) but my son and husband both have autism, so I'm familiar with it. I haven't had my surgery yet, but I'm chiming in because of my experience with autism.
First: the idea that you've gained so you might as well eat your way back to 350 is, I think, an example of the all-or-nothing thinking common in ASD. It might help to remind yourself that just because you think something, that doesn't make it true. The real world isn't black and white, even though it may look that way to some of us some of the time. In reality, it's all shades of gray. So a major gain doesn't mean it's all over. It just means you have to get back on track, which is totally possible.
Second: Like the other posters, I strongly encourage you to get a counselor. Look for someone who has experience with ASD. This person will be your ally and help you to get the other stuff under control. It's so hard to take on something this complex without help, even for someone who isn't on the spectrum. You really need someone on your side, especially since your fiance is an enabler.
Third: make small changes. Take that first step (which I suggest ought to be getting a counselor). I know it's hard for people on the spectrum to change their habits, but if you go after ONE at a time -- don't try to tackle the whole thing at once -- it will be a lot more doable and not so overwhelming. You managed to make it through the surgery the first time, and if you had an experience anything like mine, there were a lot of little things, tests and stuff, that you had to do. And you did them. So I'll bet that once you get yourself an ally and get the meds going, you can do what you must to get that weight off.
P.S. I suffer from depression, too, and I know how that can make you feel helpless and hopeless. But that feeling is just a feeling, not the Truth. It's the depression/bipolar talking. You don't have to listen. I've found it really helpful when I start having self-defeating thoughts to remind myself that the depression likes to tell lies. It'll say all kinds of awful things that aren't true.
I hope our comments here have been helpful. My thoughts will be with you! Good luck.
First: the idea that you've gained so you might as well eat your way back to 350 is, I think, an example of the all-or-nothing thinking common in ASD. It might help to remind yourself that just because you think something, that doesn't make it true. The real world isn't black and white, even though it may look that way to some of us some of the time. In reality, it's all shades of gray. So a major gain doesn't mean it's all over. It just means you have to get back on track, which is totally possible.
Second: Like the other posters, I strongly encourage you to get a counselor. Look for someone who has experience with ASD. This person will be your ally and help you to get the other stuff under control. It's so hard to take on something this complex without help, even for someone who isn't on the spectrum. You really need someone on your side, especially since your fiance is an enabler.
Third: make small changes. Take that first step (which I suggest ought to be getting a counselor). I know it's hard for people on the spectrum to change their habits, but if you go after ONE at a time -- don't try to tackle the whole thing at once -- it will be a lot more doable and not so overwhelming. You managed to make it through the surgery the first time, and if you had an experience anything like mine, there were a lot of little things, tests and stuff, that you had to do. And you did them. So I'll bet that once you get yourself an ally and get the meds going, you can do what you must to get that weight off.
P.S. I suffer from depression, too, and I know how that can make you feel helpless and hopeless. But that feeling is just a feeling, not the Truth. It's the depression/bipolar talking. You don't have to listen. I've found it really helpful when I start having self-defeating thoughts to remind myself that the depression likes to tell lies. It'll say all kinds of awful things that aren't true.
I hope our comments here have been helpful. My thoughts will be with you! Good luck.
I have depression. My stepson has Asperger's and anxiety, along with a few other related conditions (tourettes, ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, and brain damage from a nasty case of meningitis when he was an infant). My husband has OCD, ADHD, and depression. As a result, I've received a lot of training on these various conditions.
You remind me of my stepson in that you are unable to maintain a medication/vitamin regimen (I have similar problems, although I find that if I include most of the pills in my nighttime routine, I am more compliant). My stepson is always going off his medications, often making up reasons for doing so after the fact. The truth is that he may never be fully compliant with his meds. Right now, we attempt to use an external brain to help him. That will not always be possible, and I anticipate that we'll need to hospitalize him at some point.
My stepson also has this thing with all or nothing thinking. He received a notice last week that he had been kicked off food stamps and medicare assistance. When he talked about this with my husband, he became extremely agitated and insisted that he was never going to report any income from employment to the government ever again. When my husband pointed out that he could lose his government benefits entirely, he started talking about how he didn't care. Never mind that he is not capable of working full time, isn't capable of working a job that pays more than $10 an hour, and will always need government assistance. When we looked into matters with his financial worker, it turned out that he hadn't submitted his income verification in May on time, and that his benefits would be fully restored.
My experience suggests that you may need some ongoing therapy to help you create a new routine with your meds and your diet. I also encourage you to make a change with your current partner. He will never get on board with this, and you don't need his idea of support. I understand that your life feels very empty right now, but I think a therapist might help you see that some of those walls were built by you. I get that Aspergers can make you a challenging friend, but you also have to remember that you have a social disability that prevents you from reading other people accurately. Obviously, you are not low functioning. You are literate, well-spoken, and you've managed to live your life for a long time without the tools that you need.
I'm so sorry about the diabetes, but once you limit carbs, you will likely go back into remission (even if you don't lose a lot of weight). Not everybody does, but enough people do that it's worth the effort. I wish you the best of luck. I know you can do this.
You remind me of my stepson in that you are unable to maintain a medication/vitamin regimen (I have similar problems, although I find that if I include most of the pills in my nighttime routine, I am more compliant). My stepson is always going off his medications, often making up reasons for doing so after the fact. The truth is that he may never be fully compliant with his meds. Right now, we attempt to use an external brain to help him. That will not always be possible, and I anticipate that we'll need to hospitalize him at some point.
My stepson also has this thing with all or nothing thinking. He received a notice last week that he had been kicked off food stamps and medicare assistance. When he talked about this with my husband, he became extremely agitated and insisted that he was never going to report any income from employment to the government ever again. When my husband pointed out that he could lose his government benefits entirely, he started talking about how he didn't care. Never mind that he is not capable of working full time, isn't capable of working a job that pays more than $10 an hour, and will always need government assistance. When we looked into matters with his financial worker, it turned out that he hadn't submitted his income verification in May on time, and that his benefits would be fully restored.
My experience suggests that you may need some ongoing therapy to help you create a new routine with your meds and your diet. I also encourage you to make a change with your current partner. He will never get on board with this, and you don't need his idea of support. I understand that your life feels very empty right now, but I think a therapist might help you see that some of those walls were built by you. I get that Aspergers can make you a challenging friend, but you also have to remember that you have a social disability that prevents you from reading other people accurately. Obviously, you are not low functioning. You are literate, well-spoken, and you've managed to live your life for a long time without the tools that you need.
I'm so sorry about the diabetes, but once you limit carbs, you will likely go back into remission (even if you don't lose a lot of weight). Not everybody does, but enough people do that it's worth the effort. I wish you the best of luck. I know you can do this.
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