I'm fighting to get back to my "optimum" weight.
Optimum for me is the weight where I fit my target size (10) and don't look like a skeleton wearing a deflated fat suit. I have very large thighs (genetics) and a LOT of loose skin since I dropped from a BMI of 60 down to my current BMI of 28 or 29. So i have about 12 pounds to get to optimum weight. But if I don't lose the weight but my 10s fit perfect then I don't care what the scale says. My current goal is to have the 10s fit well.
How did I get here? Needing to lose weight because of a small regain?
Well, to me I have to rewind to March 1st 2011. At that time I was about 146 (and looked pretty bad, about 19 pounds below optimum). I knew in my heart that 165 was the best weight for me. I could wear size 8 at the tiem and my tens were a little loose.
I had surgery in March 2011, just before my 3rd year out from surgery. Prior to that I was too thin, but my muscles were toned and they LIKED to move my body around. In fact, they seemed disappointed in not having much mass to push around. But I liked the size even if it wasn't the best for me On the way down the scale at 165 I was wearing a size 14.
Then I had to remain more or less immobile for two months that March. I gained 9 pounds during that period of near immobility. This is not too surprising since my energy usage went down dramatically, and I'd prepared a lot of easy to consume meals to meet the maintenance needs of an active body. So after the surgery I was at 155. A pound over goal, ten pounds below optimum.
The weight inched up because about the time I started being more ABLE to be mobile, I was not BEING more mobile (I'm a high school teacher, it was summer vacation by this time, and I am sedentary in the summer). So two months of restricted movement, followed by two months of slug-fest lack of movement based on my own choices and I was back up to "optimum" at 165, and still wearing my 10s with NO problem.
I liked where I was at the beginning of the last school year. The right size, the right weight, it was good. But alas, two things went to work against me, or perhaps three.
I was diagnosed with Reactive Hypoglycemia which requires that you eat more sensibly and more often, more fats and proteins than carbss. So I was trying to alter up my food consumption to control the RH, that made just dieting to lose weight near impossible. But remember, I began the school year HAPPY with size and weight.
The second obstacle is muscle mass. The four months of combined elective sluggishness and required sluggishness combined to diminish my muscle mass, which lowered my metabolism and lowered my maintenance caloric requirements. I didn't need to eat what I was eating to maintain. More calories in than burned = weight gain, and the weight started to creep up ounce by ounce.
Finally, our classes were SO STUFFED with students that I had little ability to walk around freely in the classroom with an arm swinging stride. Normally my ONLY exercise plan was to "be vigorous" at work. And I didn't do too bad with that plan, going from 350 to 146 isn't a bad result of my "exercise" plan at work. But a full school year with classes in the 40's and 50s and I suddenly was stuck in one spot all day every day, nad the lack of "vigorous teaching" failed to work towards upping my muscle tone, and thus my metabolism. As time went on, and I adjusted and readjusted my diet for the Reactive Hypoglycemia, my 1500 calorie diet was NOT a maintenance diet, it was more than I was burning, and the weight was going on.
Now at this point in time I have two choices. I can continue life as usual, and eventually my 1500 calories will become a maintenance diet at some weight. But as the weight crept up and up that was starting to look like it wouldn't balance out at a weight that fit in a size 10. I'd gotten rid of my 12s, so I had a choice, I could donate my 10s, accept that a 12 or a 14 would be my new normal, or I could fight back.
I've decided to fight back. I'm going to spend the month of July and exercise close to daily instead of my normal slug-fest, so as to improve my muscle mass and raise my metabolism and change the equation so that I use more calories than I consume. I also appear to have fewer students this coming school year, so I'm going to throw out four desks from my classroom and give myself space to teach more dynamically again. When I return to work in August, therefore, I anticipate that my muscle mass will better than it has ever been based on a month of exercise, and I'll be dynamic in teaching again, so I'll alter the equation. Ultimately I want to lose a litle bit of fat weight so I'll fit the warddrobe I own. If I don't change by the scale, but the pants fit, I'll be happy enough.
It's not nearly as simple as I used to tthink it would be. Weight has a variety of factors. I always follow the no liquid with food rule, and I eat sensibly, so I didn't think that weight would be an issue for me. I was wrong. I hope my current plan will shrink me down to a size 10 again. If I can get there adn stay there, I'll be happy. I don't want to get smaller and have to buy a warddrobe o 8s, and I don't want to stay where half my 10s are too tight. I'll go buy a small variety of skirts before I give in and buy new slacks in a larger size. I refuse to buy larger clothing. Ultimately I want to be 165, size 10, and able to continue to eat a diet that controls my reactive hypoglycemia with ease.
~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost!
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!