OT(kinda) Don't know if I should marry him/Counselor visit sucked

 Life is too short to be unhappy.........do what you know in your heart is right.  Might be tough, but will be worth it in the long run.   You can do anything that you set your mind to !!

If you don't know and think you might not even be in love with him, I absolutely would not be marrying him if I were you. Every couple has their problems but no matter how mad I get at my boyfriend or how many stresses pile up on us (and they are, believe me) I'd marry him if he asked and I know I love him, period. For a long time I couldn't bear the thought of being without my (now ex) husband. It was like, what am I gonna do if he's not around? The answer is, I'm gonna do what the hell I want with my life and I won't have to take care of an overgrown child anymore, that's what! 

Since then I've gotten over my "need" for someone. I love and want my boyfriend, but could I live without him? Absolutely. It would break my heart if we broke up, but life would go on and I'd meet another man. And it's very liberating for me to know that and it may sound counterintuitive, but my knowing that and conveying that in life makes me all the more attractive to men who like confident, independent women.

And you are beautiful. Let 'em line up around the corner for even just a chance to make you a happy woman. That's what real men want to do.

I went out to lunch with an ex (DON"T ask me why it was dumb) and he said he missed the 280 pound me, he said I wasn't the same... whatever so I know how weird it feels... like I'm still the same person there is just a lot less of me...

Anyway, life is too short to be miserable! You only have one life to live make it count, follow your dreams, and don't spend time with someone who is abusive. You deserve better.

What Nik said.

A man who specifically wants a woman who will put up with that kind of crap should raise a huge red relationship flag.

Also, if you were not comfortable with that counselor, I would strongly encourage you to seek out another one.  I would tell you, though, that just because a counselor is young doesn't necessarily mean (s)he will be less helpful than one with more experience. Although experience can be an asset, there are some older counselors who get very set in their ways of dealing with clients and sort of have a one-approach-fits-all mentality whereas a younger counselor is likely to be open to a variety of approaches (including some new approaches that an older counselor may not even be aware of).  The most important thing, though, is that you feel comfortable with the counselor.

Lora