Almost 4 Years Post Op...Regrets, I Have A Few

I am 4 years post op and regret having the RNY. Yes. There, I said it. Sort of like being in a 12 step program. Whew! Load off my mind! 

Ok, so the guts and grit:

I was 315lbs day of surgery. I lost 160lbs in 1.5 years. The lowest weight I ever hit was 155lbs, but put on 10lbs voluntarily (due to health issues) and another 10lbs over the course of a six month period due to heavy weight lifting. So, for a solid year, I maintained easily at 175lbs. I was so healthy! The healthiest I had ever been in my life. The capabilities of my body seemed limitless. 

Then I got pregnant.

It was a dream come true. After years of infertility, I had gotten pregnant out of the blue! My pregnancy was, however, quite difficult. Pregnant with twins, I was careful about my food intake. I discovered something about myself that I had been hiding from my family: I had become a bulimic out of fear of weight gain after my surgery. But, with a twin pregnancy, I had to toe the line and eat.

Unfortunately, early on we discovered that one of my babies was not thriving. My daughter was suffering from IUGR. I was placed on a super high protein diet and bed rest in hopes of bulking her up. Long story short, I gained 40lbs but my baby girl didn't survive. I lost her at 30 weeks, but was blessed with a healthy, beautiful son.

Fast forward to 4 years after my surgery. I have a healthy 14 month old son who I breastfeed about 3 times a day. I workout at least 4 times per week doing biking and weight lifting with yoga thrown in. I am diet compliant and never drink when I eat. I watch my carbs and sugar and eat a modified raw food diet. 

And I weigh 215lbs. 

This is my *****. I exercise, eat clean, breastfeed and stay compliant to maintain 215lbs. This is unacceptable to me. I had weight loss surgery just to obsessively diet and exercise for the rest of my life? I am working my ass of to maintain my obesity. I am obese. I am obsessed with my weight. It is something I think about every single day of my life. I cannot lose the 40lbs I gained during my pregnancy. 

My regret is that I had the RNY instead of the DS. As compliant as I am, I know that I would have been healthy with the DS. My doctor refused me the DS. I know 5 people personally who have had the DS and the most weight any have gained is 20lbs and she has gained that high amount by eating nonstop and hasn't exercised a day in the 8 years since her DS surgery.

I became a bulimic in my attempts to not gain weight. I have gotten better with it since the pregnancy but I still have days where it happens. I am so grateful for the weight that I've lost that it seems petty to complain about 40 extra pounds. I wouldn't mind those 40 extra pounds if not for the fact that I work so hard and eat so clean.  

Yours In Whiny, Ungrateful Salutations, 
Sara

Did you ever follow through with the psychological therapy (often recommended prior to and/or after WLS)?  I think it would help you a lot.  I know it helped me, and I am still absorbing some of the things the therapist said, almost 2 years later. 
So, aside from that, I wonder if you understand that the WLS was a tool to jump start the weight loss, and that the rest of it is, and always will be up to you?  When I was going to classes, they stressed this.  Weight loss with the sugery is finite--it stops after a while, and you have to use the time of easier weight loss to change habits of a lifetime. 

Are you writing down everything.  Everything?  It's so easy to grab something quick thinking you'll write it down later, only to forget.  It's also easy to underestimate the amount of calories consumed when not writing everything down. 

I know how you feel.  I had to have my butt kicked after about the same amount of time.  It was all so easy at first, and then I started to go back to my same eating habits.  Not as much, but the bad food and habits came slinking back (pizza, Arby's, McDonald's breakfast).  Then I had to go on prednisone again for a while.  My clothes got too tight. That did it (kicked my butt). I didn't go through life-altering surgery to gain the weight back. 

It's up to me, and only me.  I got a bike and really enjoy riding (after over 30 years of not ever riding).  Maybe you could start, and take your son with you in one of those tow-behind carriers?  Maybe you could join a new gym, or exercise class---you know--something fresh to get you started back on the healthy track again. 

I hope you get back on the horse--you're worth it.  And, if you haven't, do go through with the therapy.  You won't regret it.  Promise.

Hi Sara....sorry to hear about your Loss. I can't understand the bulimic stuff (but that's cause I don't do that) but doesn't sound good at all. I think, since you are breast feeding that you probably shouldn't worry about your weight til your child is off the boob. Then call your doc and discuss this. I will keep you in my prayers. Wishin you the best!

 Thank you very much. I appreciate it. :)

 That's the problem; I'm not really off the horse. I work at this EVERY day. It consumes me. And as for tracking I use myfitnesspal.com to log everything that I eat, drink and do. It is the most wonderful website I have ever used. It calculates everything from carbs to iron and is amazing. If it isn't on the website, it didn't happen for me. I don't lie to myself. It serves no earthly purpose.  

It's funny that you posted this today.  I have been in the process for the past few months to get the gastric bypass.....but leaning more toward the sleeve.  The hospital I was going through does not offer the DS.  I called yesterday to a hospital that does, did the webinair online last night, and made an appt. to see a DS surgeon on the 31st.  The reason I didn't go the DS route in the first place is because there isn't a surgeon nearby.....I will have to travel to do it.  But after reading on OH for the past three months.......and the minimal success it seems revisions have.....I want to have 1 surgery that I can deal with.  I think her name is Carmelia or something like that on the VSG board but she says get cut once......from the hours a day I put into research she is totally right. 

My sister had the DS 9 years ago and weighs about 190, her lowest weight was 170, she is 5'9......she eats Anything She wants and has maintained that weight for 7 years.....and I mean anything.  Probably like your friend.  She's a grazer......she always gets seconds....if you know what I mean.  I have two women I went to church with who had the Rny and only lost 50pds......I told this to the nutritionist I saw and she said they didn't lose the weight because they didn't put protein first,.....I think she is right, but they were still Rny failures. 

I just wanted to say I agree with you 100%.

Thanks for the post

Thank you. I know it's utterly taboo to post this on the RNY site. Most people on here are so loyal to their surgery that no matter how it affects them they will stand up for the surgery. 

And yes, my friend is a grazer. It's not that I want to do that, but I just want the ability to not put on weight if I smell a damn piece of chocolate cake!

I don't think it's utterly taboo in the least. Quite a few folks on here who will openly say DS would have been a better surgery for them. It's offensive for you to say that 'most folks on here are so loyal to their surgery that no matter how it affects them they will stand up  for the surgery'.

We aren't a bunch of sheep, too stupid to do anything but bleat.

Sorry for the issues you are having and have had. But if you want support, don't kick metaphorical sand in our faces.

As the previous person indicated, there are a number of people here, myself included, who have been VERY open about the belief that a DS or sleeve would have been a better choice for them IF the other surgery had BEEN an option for them.

I have been here more than 5 years and I have not seen anyone who is more than a year out (once the proverbial rose-colored glasses of the rapid weight loss come off) being blindly loyal to a RNY if they had a negative experience. What I have seen, however, is that MANY of us get annoyed when one of the more militant DS folks comes to this forum and proceeds to tell us what an "inferior" surgery RNY is. There is no one surgery that is right or "best" for everyone.

I am sorry that you are struggling with your weight. I can only imagine the frustration of putting so much effort into being compliant in all areas and not being able to lose any weight. I wish I had an answer for you. I know that for me (5 years out), the carbs are the critical element in maintaining my weight.

Lora

i had a bit of an "anti-DS" thing going for a while... mostly pre-op and as a reaction to the way certain folks presented their surgery as the ONLY good surgery out there. The DS wasn't for me for the reason that it wasn't covered, and it wouldn't help my GERD, and I only chose ANY WLS because of teh promise of maybe getting my GERD cured. However, if I had been focused on losing weight, I doubt I would have been convinced to get the DS anyway, as I wasn't all that fond of high-fat foods, sugar was more my demon than fat-filled foods. I've been living a super-low-fat lifestyle for close to 25 years in the mistaken belief that fat calories were evil and carb calories weren't to worry about. I didn't much care for the DS diet. It sounded awful. With hubby's weight issues and resistance to any sort of weight loss - eating a DS diet might have had him eating more food with me, but I doubt it would help his diet much.

When I was post op, I sort of figured it out that in truth, the real enemy we all face is OBESITY (and whatever demons we carry within us that lead towards obesity, whether emotional, psychological, or physiological). For each of us, we have opened up a weapons locker with all of the "big guns" which can be used in the battle against the mighty demon of Obesity.

The sad truth is that for some people, those "big guns" won't work. At all. They might help a person to lose weight, but they won't do the truly difficult stuff.... they won't help with non-physiological reasons for obesity, and even some of the physiological ones can be an impediment.

To acheive success and defeat Obesity, most of us in this forum chose RNY. For some of this that was NOT the best choice of weapon. Often we were limited in what we could choose by insurance, by fears, and by misconceptions. It's a sad fact that we can't always get what is the best weapon in the arsenal, andd that we sometimes won't choose the best weapon. This is why education is so important. I was convinced that RNY was the BEST tool in the arsenal for ME and MY issues, particularly when combined with what my insurance covered.

I did research, and have continued to research the options available to people, and I have opinions on all four surgeries.

Lap-Band... nobody should have this heinous surgery. End opinion.

Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy ... I think this is one of the best, if not THE best surgery option out there. I say this because it preserves the pyloric valve, allows for taking NSAIDS, has a lot less vitamin malabsorption, and is the least difficult one to have in the horrible event of getting cancer.

Roux-en=Y... I think this is more difficult to have, perhaps in terms of compliance especially, a lot of rules. I'm guessing that the Lap-Band has more rules, but as I mentioned, I don't think anyone shiuld have it, so I won't really compare to it. But Roux-en-Y has a lot of rules to follow, and not everyone is a good fit for the post-op life. It's also not as "cut and dried" as I used to think it was. I used to think that regain in significant amounts couldn't happen to those who were compliant, and yet I follow the rules, I do waht I am supposed to, and the regain keeps happening. So RNY is definately not right for everyone. But it is a good choice for those with a lot to lose.

Duodenal Switch - This is what I consider the "big guns" in that arsenal of choices that we can make in our fight against obesity. Some individuals think that this is the "go-to" choice when fighting obesity, but I don't personally agree. I think if an individual is a lightweight that the DS is sort of like using a anti-aircraft missile to take out a pigeon. It might do the job, but it just seems to me (personally) that the "big guns" might be overkill for those who could get it done with a lesser surgery. It's definitely a superb surgery, and I don't think that anyone should get ANY weight loss surgery without understanding all of the options open to them. For many this option isn't opened to them for some reasons - insurance mainly, but also access to a DS surgeon.

Once I was postop I realized that it's all about winning the war, it's not about how you choose to arm yourself. And this is a lifelong fight with the odds stacked against us. For myself I know that this was my best choice given the limitations I was under, as well as my motivating factor of being the decider in getting surgery at all.

Would I be having issues of regain or reactive hypoglycemia if I had the DS? I'll never know. I do what I can with what I got.