Waffling? Confused?

Hi Everyone,
I've been a voyeur for a few weeks and I think i'm ready to ask a question.  How sure were you when you had  surgery?

I keep going back & forth.... Have I exhausted every possibility? I think so, but I don't know.  I have people around me that seem to think WLS is "failure".  Failure to do it on my own. Failure of controling my sugars (Diabetes is a co-morbidity for me).  Failure of my own willpower. 

I've begun the process and there are times when I'm certain this is the right choice for ME! Then there are times when I think it's overkill! I'd like to lose 100lbs.  my PCP would be good with 60lbs.  I qualify for insurance and have completed 3 of 6 months of NUT visits.  But I'm still not CERTAIN.....  It's scary... Maybe I'm just scared.  Is there anyone who felt the same way?

Thanks,
Elisa

 I felt the same way, but ultimately knew that I was not going to reach my goals and be healthier if I didn't have help. Good luck with your decision. :)

I just knew it was right, and I didn't care what others thought. I did this for me and my health.

Dear Mom_2_4,

I'd think you were a fool if you weren't scared, and questioning such a major life changing decision. Rest assured this is normal however, it's a question that ultimately only you can answer. When all is said and done, you're the one who will live with the consequences both good and bad. 

I started with a BMI of 62.5, and had 2 co-morbidity's, Pseudotumor Cerebri (a brain condition) and Sleep Apnea.  With the Pseudotumor Cerebri there was a very real risk that I would lose my vision. The best way to bring it into remission before it affected my eyesight, was by losing weight, and getting it off quickly. As for the Sleep Apnea, my oxygen levels dropped to 52%, and again losing weight was the best way to address this condition. WLS seemed so drastic that when my doctor presented me with the option I was shocked. I went home, and spent a lot of time thinking it over. I decided to just diet myself down, only to fail again. I finally came to terms with what I needed to do, and here I am today 17 months past surgery.

Whenever I start to wonder if I did the right thing, I look back over the years, and see the reality of my past attempts. I'd tried for years to lose weight. I was a Weigh****cher expert, and can still relate foods with their numbers of points. I'd always lose a lot of weight, but never quite enough. Each time I lost, I eventually gained it all back, and then some. Without WLS I know I would never have been as successful as I've been so far.

I have to admit that I wouldn't have originally chosen WLS for the sole purpose to lose weight in the beginning, but knowing what I do now, I most certainly would. My life is so much easier now, and I can do so many more things. My only regret, it's that I didn't do this sooner. I can sincerely say, that if I died tomorrow from a complication that it really was worth it to have felt this wonderful, and have my quality of life back.

In making the decision to have WLS, I think it's important to:
- Look at your history, and see your ability to be successful realistically given all the weight loss options available. 
- Weigh the risks.
- Be well informed as to what the lifestyle changes, and expectations to maintain success are.
- Be willing to adopt the WLS lifestyle forever.

This is a huge decision, and I'm happy to see people like you *****ally think this over. The surgery is only part of the equation, so it must be well thought out. What's the point in doing this if you just jump in, and then are unhappy, or fail because you weren't prepared or ready.

Best Wishes on  Whatever you Decide,
Kat

What you feel is normal.  I was absolutely certain I made the correct decision, but I wondered if I chose the correct procedure.  It is overwhelming at first.  There is a lot of info and much to consider.   For me personally, it was the greatest gift I have ever given to myself.  My only regret is that fact I let myself get to the place where I needed surgery in the first place.  I lost a lot of weight over the years, with much effort,  but could never keep the weight off.  Every day I say a prayer of thanks for having RNY.

As for people...this is my advice  I was blindsided by the response I got from people once I made my plans known.  I group the responses this way.

1.  People who are truly your support system.  They applaud what you are doing, and you can count on them.  Lean on those people.

2.  People who try to discourage you from having surgery because they are sincerely scared something could happen to you.  They truly worry they will lose you.

3.  People who try to discourage you because they worry your relationship with them will change.  Maybe every Friday is Pizza night, maybe you do a lot of socializing/eatng with them and they know things will change once you have surgery.  Maybe they have a weight issue too and are threatened by your decision to change.

4.  This group surprised me the most.  These are the "skinny" people who don't want to lose that coveted position.  They are your friend, but they feel superior being the skinny one in the group.  They never say that, but it is true.  Of  all those who tried to discourage me from having surgery, it was the "skinny" ones who were the most vocal for the logest period of time.

Don't listen to people except those you know support you...ignore everyone else.  Find the most qualified surgeon available, and do your homework.  Thousands are having WLS, and many will tell you it is the best thing they ever did.

You will live on an emotional rollar coaster.  It is normal.

I was still unsure up until they wheeled me into surgery!  The last thing I remember as they were wheeling me to the OR, was turning to my mom and asking, "Are you sure this is a good idea?"  After that I was out.  Ultimately, I think I'm happy I went through with it.  If I hadn't, I know I'd still be obese.  It's a hard decision, and I never trust myself to make decisions, which is something I'm working on.  But even now, I still have moments of "what if".  Maybe I'm just nuts!  Who knows.

>"The last thing I remember as they were wheeling me to the OR, was turning to my mom and asking, "Are you sure this is a good idea?" "

Ha!  Same thing happened to me!  I remember laying on the table thinking, "I can still back out."  Next thing i knew I was waking up in recovery.

To the OP, yes, you're perfectly normal.  All I can say is I've lost 93 pounds since surgery in January, and there's no frickin' way I could have done this on my own.  Some people can, and I have all the respect in the world for them.  But that doesn't mean I don't respect the way I've chosen to do it.  I've had to choose to eat the right things, but now I have a tool to help me.

Hi!  You know, people are going to say what they want about WLS being the easy way out.  But they are not living in your body, or have your life.  Easy to say things when your not living it.  You need to ignore those negative comments and do what you feel you need to do.  Do your research.  You are going to have these feeling of should I or shouldn't I.  We all did at some point.  Personally, I was waffling right up to the morning of surgery.  Deep down I knew I had to do something.  That I couldn't go on living the way I was.  The path I was on was dangerous and only going to get worse.  Now, I can say having surgery was the best thing I ever did for myself.  Yeah, it was tough going for awhile.  Yeah, it's a life change.  Yeah, some days I mourn the food I choose not to eat anymore.  But I can now say I am healthy and following a much better path.  My life is so much more enjoyable.  I can do things!  I plan on being around to enjoy my grandkids, to enjoy my retirement (which is still years away...:-( ).  To people who look down on what I have done....too bad on you.

Giselle

Up until the moment they wheeled me back for surgery I had my doubts. I had no idea if I was making the right decision or if this was something that I was doing because I was "talked" into it. I had complications after my surgery and def. had moments where I said "what the hell did I do." But now at 7 weeks out, I can eat more normal, have lost 34lbs and so far, am glad I went threw with it. I think its hard to really know if you are making the right decision because its very hard, or at least it was for me, to not "cheat" with food and such before surgery. Good luck to you!

I almost canceled mine when I did the pre-op diet and lost 22 pounds because I thought I could just keep losing like that. When I was assured I could not sustain that type of weight loss and diet, I went ahead with the surgery. If we could do it on our own, we would, but we need a little extra help. That is why we are here. I just wish I had done it a few years ago.