Gained 20 lbs and feel like a HOT mess!!

Well, I have to come clean and admit that I have gained between 20-25 lbs back (depending on the day),  I am literally a mess over it.  Not only am I disgusted with myself for doing this, I am now re-disgusted with my body!! I was just starting to like the way I looked and felt, hey, maybe that's part of why this happened, hmmmmm.
Now all the new clothes I bought are straining and bursting!  My muffin top is hugh again and my hips and thighs are growing.  when I look down while seated my thighs are hugh!  It looks like my lap is disappearing again, I hate shopping and I wear my stretchy workout clothes!! I have lost my clavicles under the fat again.  Truth be told I should go up from a size 10 to a 12-14 but I WON'T do it! I am really surprised how much 20 lbs shows up!  When I was 290 I could lose and gain 20 lbs all day long and never know the difference!  I never quite understood how "normal" sized people would freak out about 20 lbs, but now I do!!  It is horrible!  I gotta lose it. I know what I gotta do to lose it and I will keep trying!!
Is there anyone else out there feeling the same way???I

Don't be disgusted with yourself.  Think back to being 290 lbs - losing 20 lbs is nothing for you, because you CAN do it!   Repeat after me:  "I can do it, I can do it!!"

Thanks Jodi, I can do it!  I can do it!!

No, i'm still in the losing phase, but I think I would freak out too. Get back to basics and exercise again. I know people say it's harder to lose when your further out, but at least you caught it now. You can do this!

I'm sorry (((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

I'm just 4 months out and I worry that I will do this same thing. I don't know what to say but wanted you to know I understand and hope you lose it all again.

Hi Tawnia,
Just want to say, I feel for you.  Its very scary and shameful in a sense to gain weight after going through so much to lose it.  I have been in the same boat, before my surgery.  I lost 170 lbs on my own, diet and exercise;  unfortunatley...I gained 150 back 5 yrs later.
The most important advice I can give (and by no means, I can say much about gastric bypass..I only had surgery in August.)...but, get back on the bandwagon...exercise, drink the protein drinks and cut the portions...stay away from the breads, pastas and rice...and dont go down that slippery slope...it happens to fast and you will feel hopeless...again, I'm telling you from my own experience..you came this far, you can do it!  And we have an advantage with the surgery...I hope to see a post from you, that you are losing, feeling and looking great soon!  :) Hang in there and just battle it.

Thanks for the reply.  It is sooo the carbs for me and falling off the band wagon of exercise.  Gotta get back to it!!

It is true that the smaller you are the more you can feel the pounds.  I have been trying to put on a few pounds and I have found that I can change sizes with just a few pound gain, which for me is fine because I got too low but even when I was losing I could see how losing five pounds would mean that clothes I had just bought were too big on me whereas when I was losing I wore the same clothes for months.  I don't think I even bought any new clothes until I lost around  40 lbs when I was losing. I intentionally kept my clothes that I wore when I was 5 to 10 pounds heavier because that I wanted to get back to that size and there is nothing worse then the feeling of clothes that used to fit well becoming tight.  That is a more accurate measure then the scale.

Do you know why you have put on some weight?  Have you let the refined carbs get out of control?  That seems to be the main culprit for almost all the people I see that have had unwanted regain.  It is a good thing for me to remember because for me that is what contributed the most to my morbid obesity.  I had to completely eliminate all wheat products out of my diet.  I now eat gluten free and it is almost effortless to keep the weight off, at least at this point.  Of course I also eliminated all sugar, too. If that is an issue then your best bet would be to detox from the carbs.  

You don't need to do anything like the "5 day pouch test" although many find it helpful.  All you really need to do is get rid of all the junk and consume mainly protein for a few days until you get the carbs out of  your system.  Basically like the early post op eating plan.  Protein first, then some veggies if you have room.  If you focus on protein you should find that you don't have much room left for much else.  

I aim for at least 100 grams of protein a day.  That means at least one or two protein shakes or supplements but I find it really does keep me satisfied.  I also make sure to get at least 100 oz of fluids a day.  I never drink with meals or for at least 30 minutes after wards.  I eat every 2 or 3 hours to keep my blood sugar stable.   Give yourself a while to detox from the carbs and start eating like you did in the beginning and you should find that regain history in no time.  Remember, you still have the tool you did from the start.  You just need to use it to your best advantage again.

Good luck to you.  I know you can do it.  And stick around.  I can see that the people who seem to have the best long term success are the ones who don't leave but stick around and keep themselves accountable and available to help others.

Thanks for the advice and encouragementis definitely the carbs that get me, not even the good ones, its breads and pasta!!  I get a cheddar cheese bagel twist from dunkin donuts  every day, almost.  Granted i eat it in 3 sittings but I do eat it all!  Plus, I somehow foud out I can eat a hershey bar without getting sick, I have reactive hypoglycemia, so  I eat 2-3 a week now!!!! They are bad, bad foods for me!!  LOL!!  But I am continually going to make a consious effort to rid my life of them cuz I'm addicted to these things, oh, and popcorn too!

What's the 5day pouch test??