Can't depend on anybody - especially my mom!!

All these responses make me feel a lot better.  I think I just don't know what to expect after I come out of surgery and was worried that I'd be all alone, not knowing how everything went or if I'm okay or what's going on!  Good to know that it won't be that bad, and that I WILL be sleeping a lot.  Thanks, everyone! 

I'm sorry your mom bailed on you. My mom is not good at being supportive or thinking of others, so I have an inkling of your situation. However, don't worry about not having someone there with you. Even if you can't or just don't want to sleep, you can use that time walking the halls and watching bad daytime tv.

Also, don't assume your friends would not be willing to help on short notice. I had not one but two coworkers, both of whom would have had to drive a considerable distance, offer any help I needed. I didn't need anything, but it was nice to know if I did I could call.

I didn't allow my parents or parents-in-law to visit me in the hospital. I wasn't interested in entertaining them, so I told them that it would be hard to park and expensive too, and I didn't want them to waste their time.

chin up, good luck, and keep us posted

That stinks that your mom bailed out on you--I completely understand. You could ask a friend to stop by after work to visit since your mom won't be there the whole time?

Personally, I prefer NOT to have people waiting to see me after surgery--it can be overwhelming to me. After I had my c-section, I felt like I was being bum-rushed by everyone who wanted to see the baby, and I had to put the breaks on that. It had nothing to do with them, it's just me. 

I understand being upset that your expectations didn't line up with your moms.  It is VERY normal to be nervous.  Honestly though, for me, the biggest support I needed was before surgery, afterwards i slept a lot and didn't want to be bothered with being social while i was awake.  but everyone is different.  

Like others had said..you will be fine. Nurses are great. I had my son drop me off and didn't see him until it was time to go home.It really was no big deal.

I think this must be an American thing because I have NEVER had anyone stay in the hospital with me ...  Not even as a child!

I think you will be absolutely fine - one of the nurses will help you up the first time you use the toilet and then you'll be up walking the halls - the more you move and do for yourself the better you will recover - honestly!   Those that have people fetching and carrying for them seem to do less well than those who just get on with it.

I'm sorry you're mum didn't let you know earlier but I really believe she's doing you a favour by leaving you to recover in peace and let's be honest, sitting in someone's hospital room watching them sleep IS pretty boring and nurses are PAID to help you when and if you need it (and that's coming from someone who was a midwife in and out of a hospital for many years!)

Good luck with your surgery ...

Honestly I think it is a safety thing not letting someone who has undergone major surgery be alone.  The nurses did virtually nothing for me during my four days at the hospital, my bf did everything, he nurses were great when around but that was probably 15 minutes a day.  Don't get me wrong either, I totally respect nurses and have always had positive experiences but I would still never allow a loved one to be in a hospital alone.

It won't be a big deal from a recovery perspective and the doctor can tell you later is there was anything unusual.  Just make sure that she leaves contact info if they need to get in touch with her.  It is a disappointment when those around us don't live up to expectations :(

I sent my husband home after I was checked in. I know that when I feel like crap (and I did)...I want no one around. He never understands what the doctors say afterwards and he drives me insane asking me how I feel. But that is just me :)

I am so stunned by your mother's lack of paternal concern that I am struck dumb...

Wow.  She should win mother of the year... not!!!

I have no doubt that you'll be fine without her there, but I do understand your frustration.

Just breathe deeply and go with the flow, you're going to be fine.

Unfortunately not every parent is warm and fuzzy.  My husband was going to stay for my surgery however we had a 16 & 10 year old at home and I did not want them sitting around for their last day of summer vacation.  My husband stayed with me about 1.5 hour then went home.  He came back with the girls around 3:00 and stayed for about an hour then they went home.  I was so tired it wasn't a big deal to me. 

I would be upset if my mom changed plans at the 13th hour with out telling me ahead of time however. 

By the way the nurses are wonderful!  They love helping patients like us because we are making a choice to get healthy!

Good luck tomorrow and remember all your friends at OH are wishing you well.