my wls journey seem to be ruining my life!!!!!!

Since I made the decision to have the RNY I have had to battle with so called friends about my decision in my life. I feel I should not have had to do this since friends are in large part supposed to be a support group. The little family I do have support the choice I made and even agreed with me on taking this route to regain my health. When it comes to my job and my friends it seems they are all against me! My friends call me dumb and say I am lazy and “taking the easy way out”. My job hasn’t scheduled me appropriate hours since I had the procedure done. Nothing about this journey is easy to me. Everything I now eat, drink or do has to be carefully calculated and I am ok with that. Why does my choice anger so many people? All of this has put me in financial binds and extremely high levels of stress. No work no friends no money and soon to be no electricity. I asked friends to borrow money because as I said early work has been limited and they have the nerve to say if I wasn’t so stupid to take three weeks off of work to have a useless surgery I would have money. Ughhhhhhh so annoyed. Sorry for this post I just really had to vent. Have any of you had an experience like I have?

 

 

Charlem,

I am so sorry you are experiencing such opposition and discrimination. You were NOT and are NOT dumb, lazy or or taking the easy way out.

May I ask what kind of work you do? Would it be possible to ask for financial help from your family?

Talk to your electric company to see if they can make any kind of payment arrangements or apply for assistance through your local utility companies or other agencies that can offer assistance.

As for your so called friends, I am so,so sorry they are SO jealous of you and your plan to be healthy.

Personally, I have chosen to tell only a very limited number of people outside my family. Like you, my family is awesome! I think I have told only 3 or 4 friends. The ones I consider REAL friends. I have others who I know would criticize horribly and like you said, this is hard enough without the drama of others. Please, please, leave and run as fast as you can from these people. You deserve much, much better!

You did this for your health! You will get through this!

Thank you for your concern. I currently work in retail. I do not really have a lot of family and the family I have are helping me as much as they can. I have tried getting assistance but most agencies are low on funding right now. I want to believe that my so called friends have a problem with me doing something for myself. I am the only overweight person in my crew of friend and I think that me doing something about it intimidates them!! i thought the people I choose to share this with were my closet friends....... I guess I was wrong.

And that is EXACTLY why I am not telling anyone! Well, I told my hubby and mama and like 2 friends and that's IT. I have my wls support group and the OH forum for support. I didn't even tell my family. Anyway ((hugs))

well i knew i was going to need a month off from my surgery so i got sick benefits from unemployment insurance and saved some money in advance. I'm sorry  things have gone bad for you i hope people will come around once they see the surgery works for you but to be honest i wouldn't waste my time on people who are so negative and can't be supportive a real friend would  . It sounds like these people have no real interest in you if there calling you dumb so move on there are better  people out there  and hopefully through this journey you will meet some people or join a local support group who are going through the same life change as you are . you have options all the best of luck !!

I didn't have that experience.  to be honest, if my friends were calling me dumb and lazy, I'd be reconsidering who my friends were.  But I would also be telling them that I take medical advice from my doctor, who, you know, went to medical school and stuff, not from people that have no education in the medical field.  I would just tell them to knock it off.  I wouldn't put up with it.

As so often in the past, I have to agree with Kelly.  If these folks are your friends, what the hell do your enemies look like???

I would encourage you to lose a lot of extra pounds real quick by kicking the so called "friends" of yours to the curb...

Hang in there as this stressful time you are experiencing will eventfully right itself.  It just really sucks until it does... 

 

 

I feel sorry for your "friends." 

Apparently they have nothing better to do than criticize you for taking control of your life.

Must suck having so much free time between walking on water and parting the seas.

It may be time to look toward meeting a few new people.

Vent on.  Here we will listen.

Anyone who can't be supportive of your life choices is not worth having in your life. My surgery is not public knowledge for this very reason. I'm in my 20s and so are the majority of my friends. I assumed they would not understand due to lack of knowledge over the matter so I only told my best friend and a couple of other close friends and my family of course. Only 1 of my 3 roommates knows. Basically all my family knows but it wasn't up to them. They could think whatever they wanted, but they knew I would never listen and they kept their mouths shut. WLS is not an easy decision nor is it the easy way out. Our lives revolve around our health and to be blunt we don't have time to be wasting on unsupportive people. You're better off without them. Weightloss support groups would be a great place to make some new friends, the kind who understand and have the same goal as you. Good luck and don't let the ignorant people get you down.

This may not help you at all or it may help you out...idk but even when things are tough remember how great you are going to feel once your up and going again...and remember that you have the support of this group. Good Luck.