Gastric bypass - one more failure

It was a year ago on March 13th that I had my surgery.  I lost 80 of my 130 excess pounds.  Now, I've gained 12 back.  I over eat until I'm miserable, I'm tired, and I feel like such a failure.  I really thought this was going to be "the" thing that finally was going to help me get my health back.  What is wrong with me!

Have you considered counseling? Also do you have a good dietitian or nutritionist? I'm only 5 weeks out, but am planning to see a counselor myself beginning around 6 months out or before if necessary. Surgery is only half the battle for me - the physical half - the rest is going to be dealing with why I relied on food and filling my self up until I was miserable, too. You are not a failure unless you allow yourself to be, and if you were okay with failing, you wouldn't be here!

The dietitian is about 3 hours away.  What I need is a support group.  I have two WL buddies but we don't get to meet often.  The last time was about 3 months ago.  I need someone to grab me by the shoulders, give me a shake and tell me to wise up.  I start over again every day but, every day I make a mess of things.  Kind of a long story but, I was doing will until my last appointment.  The nurse made me feel bad for not losing more weight.  I thought I'd been doing well but she thought I should have been doing better.  What she said to me started me back on a path of self doubt.  I've never been able to get  "it" back....whatever "it" is.

 

She doesn't hold your future in her hands, you do. Even if you haven't lost as much as the medical professionals think you 'should' have, you still have the power to do so and prove that you can. I like Allen's suggestion for TOPS. Especially if your surgeon doesn't offer group meetings. Personally, I like Weigh****cher's, too. I had great support when I went to my meetings, and about a 50 pound long-term loss (I just had so much to lose I was overwhelmed). Find and join a group to keep you focused. Also looks like you're a new grandmother. A wonderful reason to take control and use your surgery to its greatest advantage!

I am a grandma to a beautiful little girl.  I couldn't love her more!!!  I have thought about WW but I don't know if they'd approve of my surgery.  Would they accept someone who's had gastric bypass?

Weigh****chers is a business, not a sorority.  They will welcome you with open arms. Weigh****chers is full of people who have had weight loss surgeries.  You do not have to tell anyone in Weigh****chers about your surgery.  Some of them may not approve, but it is completely your business.  I have never told anyone at Weigh****chers that I had RNY.

I go there for support with my weight, to keep me accountable, to find friendship and support with my efforts, and for great eating recipes and advice.

Sign up, go to a meeting and find out how great they are at providing support.  Follow their program and you will have another powerful set of tools to use to get to your goal.

WW, I did not think of that for the extra support and recipes. I might consider this thanks the the idea

I'm going to give you some tough love here, and it is love...

Nobody can make you feel anything unless you allow it, so stop blaming the nurse for making you feel bad.  You are in charge of your feelings and your life, and your journey through it, so don't hand over your power to others.  

Also, if there is no support group available, either start one yourself or get into counseling.  If you ignore the fact that you need help, then you are setting up your own failure.  Again you are responsible for seeking out the help you require.

If you are putting on weight, then you need to get moving, right now, to put a stop to it.  Become proactive with your health and weight loss as you are the only one who can...

Seriously, I am wishing you much success.

DEB

^^ this!! Personal responsibility!!

Make a plan and stop making excuses before you gain it all back.

You CAN do this.

EXACTLY WHAT LAURA AND DEB SAID.