Has anyone ever experinced that person that is jealous

We live with my mother in law and she went to have this surgery years ago and they wouldn't do it because of her smoking and thyroid not being under control. Well now I am one step from getting my surgery date and I swear she is trying to make this fail for me!! Everything that she fixes is fried and not only worried for me but my daughter who has had a weight gain and my hubby who also has experienced weight gain. We are in the process of finding a place but until then I am stuck with slop and a jealous mother in law 

One thing I have found on this journey is that I can't expect others to change to meet my needs.

I am in charge of me, my home and family.

You could offer to do the cooking for everyone or just your family.

You could take turns or offer to make the main dish. She may appreciate the help.

If she has always cooked like this, it may have nothing to do with YOU at all.

Have you talked to her? Is your husband able to talk with her?

This is unfortunate. Have you tried talking to her about your concerns or atleast have the option to prepare your own meals for your family.? I really hope something can be worked out so you dont have to stress about it.

I have offered to cook and she gets very mad, also I buy all the food that comes in so I buy things that are good for me and my family and she still ends up cooking them and 98% of the time in three inches of grease. I have taken my family's food out of whatever we are having and cooked for us and cleaned all our mess and OMG you thought I burnt her kitchen down. My hubby has said something to her and it does not good! At this point I am just praying for housing to come soon. I don't know what her deal is but you can tell when someone asks about my surgery that she is very jealous and always changes the subject. 

Remind her.....you sleep with her son and someday the TWO of you will pick her NURSING HOME !

I make a point of this to my hubby often and he says I can't wait!! We have always lived 800 miles away and I guess their lifestyle is nothing like what we lived in TN. I have no family here so all you on OH are my support and family other than hubby and my daughter

I am sorry she is acting this way--but what do you mean by housing coming through? Are you military? If so, can you not live off base? I have a few military friends and they all live off base, so it is possible. If it is something like a shortage of rental housing where you live, have you looked further out? I would not be able to live with a toxic person and frankly, I'd be doing very, very little with her once I was away from her home. I'd do as little as I could while in her home.

Hugs--hope you find a place of your own SOON!

Doesnt sound like shes leaving much room for negotiation. Sorry Jaime I do hope things work out. Hopefully you will get a place of your own soon and be free to cook what and how you like. Hang in there its bound to get better

If she is like this pre-op, it sounds like she will be no support post-op.

Maybe she is not intentionally trying to sabotage you -- sounds like this is just the way she cooks, and like the others say, you cannot expect people to change for you.  It is your decision/journey and not theirs.

I agree with talking to her, but it sounds like she would take offense to you not liking the way she is cooking for you guys.

BUT ... I think you should take a stand.  Do your cooking if it means that much to you.  Tell her that your family has a weight problem and that fried foods will not be on the menu (esp post-op) and do it yourself.

You said you buy the food.. you can't fry a salad.

Best of luck to you!!