Signs that you are married to Forrest Gump
Okay. I have figured out that some of the things DH does are code for Gumpisms. I am passing them along so that others may recognize the signs and get an intervention before they too are lost in Gumpland.
For instance:
If he comes home with a variety pack of coffees for the Keurig coffee machine that he spent $20 on, and you say "Oh, what flavors did you get?" and you get a blank stare.
Insert:: "Life is like a box of chocolates."
Or:
Congratultions! You've finally decided to do some spring cleaning on the hall closet that DH uses to squirrel away all the broken tools, torn baseball gloves from childhood, stiff paintbrushes with half the bristles gone and deflated basketballs, before someone calls Hoarders. DH looks nervously in closet, then blurts "Where are my golf clubs?" Golf clubs..."oh, you mean those two bent irons from circa 1967 that you got at a garage sale in 1993 for $6 because you can't help yourself and never used since you've never played in your life? They're at the curb." DH gives look of panic before dashing out the front door.
Insert: "I gotta find Bubba!"
Or perhaps:
DH decides one day, when you are gone, that the stairs look dingy and he's going to do you a favor and spiff them up! To accomplish this daunting task, he has employed the use of...a can of Pledge. Nice and shiny! And slippery. Which you will see when you come in the door and DH yells out from the top of the stairs "See?" Then proceeds down in his socks - whereupon when he reaches the third riser from the top, he yells out, in perfect Dagwood Bumstead fashion "YAAAAAAHHH!" before landing at the bottom - along with a birdcage he grabbed at the bottom of the stairs in a desperate attempt to save himself, and which is now overturned on top of him, along with seed and water. The bird is okay but frightened. After you determine that paramedics are not needed, you think the inevitable.
Insert: "Stupid is as stupid does.
My Gump thought: Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks.
However, Gumpy though he may be, he can still melt my heart with his smile when he says:
Insert: "You're my girl."
To which I say:
Insert: "I'll always be your girl.
And that's all I have to say about that.
For instance:
If he comes home with a variety pack of coffees for the Keurig coffee machine that he spent $20 on, and you say "Oh, what flavors did you get?" and you get a blank stare.
Insert:: "Life is like a box of chocolates."
Or:
Congratultions! You've finally decided to do some spring cleaning on the hall closet that DH uses to squirrel away all the broken tools, torn baseball gloves from childhood, stiff paintbrushes with half the bristles gone and deflated basketballs, before someone calls Hoarders. DH looks nervously in closet, then blurts "Where are my golf clubs?" Golf clubs..."oh, you mean those two bent irons from circa 1967 that you got at a garage sale in 1993 for $6 because you can't help yourself and never used since you've never played in your life? They're at the curb." DH gives look of panic before dashing out the front door.
Insert: "I gotta find Bubba!"
Or perhaps:
DH decides one day, when you are gone, that the stairs look dingy and he's going to do you a favor and spiff them up! To accomplish this daunting task, he has employed the use of...a can of Pledge. Nice and shiny! And slippery. Which you will see when you come in the door and DH yells out from the top of the stairs "See?" Then proceeds down in his socks - whereupon when he reaches the third riser from the top, he yells out, in perfect Dagwood Bumstead fashion "YAAAAAAHHH!" before landing at the bottom - along with a birdcage he grabbed at the bottom of the stairs in a desperate attempt to save himself, and which is now overturned on top of him, along with seed and water. The bird is okay but frightened. After you determine that paramedics are not needed, you think the inevitable.
Insert: "Stupid is as stupid does.
My Gump thought: Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks.
However, Gumpy though he may be, he can still melt my heart with his smile when he says:
Insert: "You're my girl."
To which I say:
Insert: "I'll always be your girl.
And that's all I have to say about that.
Too funny! 
I love this post and I've always loved that movie.
Gotta go have lunch now.. "shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it."... Craig
Gotta go have lunch now.. "shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it."... Craig
Heaviest:406 | Surgical Weight:366 | Current Weight:290 | Goal Weight:250
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