ONE YEAR later, My Story

One Year Later.. August 2011 My Sleeve journey   It’s hard to believe it has been a year already! At times, it feels like just yesterday, and then other times, I feel like I have always been this way. The body’s ability to recover and rebound is amazing. I actually cannot tell I had surgery at all except when it comes time to eat! I feel better than I have in years and years. Im healthier than I have been in years too! Since I was so big at the start of this journey, I still have a ways to go, but I have more than exceeded the average of losing 50% of your excess weight. I started at 404 lbs...I wanted to lose 200 lbs in total since that sounded good to me at the time...(I’ve since changed my mind and want to go smaller!) I’ve lost 144 lbs so far...that’s just 56 lbs short of my goal!! That seems like nothing when you look at the big picture! I’m so excited and so happy! It would take writing a book to tell you how much my life has changed with this weight loss. I’m alive again! I can do things again! We spent most of this summer going places! I walked and walked and walked! Last summer, I could not move. I was almost bed bound because of my weight. I was starting to use wheelchairs and electric carts because lifting and hauling my body around was just too much for me. The pain...my joints, knees, and of course my back!! I have ruptured discs in my back, bone spurs and my sciatic nerve often flared up. All of this was aggravated by my weight. The final straw was when the doctor told me that the arthritis in my hip was so bad, the hip joint was almost bone on bone. I was destined for a hip replacement unless I got the weight and pressure off of that area. I was going down hill fast. My body was falling apart, rebelling on me. I had so many complaints from being heavy. Personal issues with cleaning, bathrooms, moving, any and all things of being this big is a horrible thing. I see big people now and hear them say how they are fine that way, and I know inside they are just lying to themselves. There is no way being this heavy is ok. But of course, no one can tell you, you need to find out yourself. The best statement I know now is..."NOTHING tastes as good as thin feels"!!!!!!!!! this is so so true! I didnt understand it before, but I do now. I FEEL fantastic! I FEEL thin! I know I am not, since I am still over 200 lbs, but what a difference! I feel TINY! LOL Everything becomes easy when you lose weight...no more seat belt extenders, no more tables in restaurants, I can fit in any booths now!, no more wondering if anyone has chairs that will hold me, or if they have bathrooms that will be wide enough for me. I can spend the day with my grandson, I can go shopping, I bought a bathing suit!! First time in 25 years!!!!!!!! I went in my daughter’s hot tub. I took a tub bath at home!! Something I could never do before. I couldnt lift myself up or down in the tub, now I can.   Again, life is so amazing now. My diet is not one of rigid strictness. I had this surgery not to spend my life denying myself foods that I like forever. I just wanted to be able to control my eating, to eat like normal people do. I eat like a skinny person does. Small amounts. My sleeve has allowed me to eat everything and all things. There is nothing I cannot eat, BUT, there are foods I no longer eat because it is my choice and I feel helps me in my loss, or just because it doesn’t feel good anymore.   I do not eat sugar at all because I think it is a poison on our society. Not good for anyone. I do not eat alot of carbs, because it slows down my weight loss, I am carb sensitive. Carbs send my body into cravings and the old urges come back. I do not eat most breads, rolls, biscuits, buns because they are just too heavy feeling in my tiny tummy. It feels uncomfortable, so I stay away. I do not eat most pastas for the same reason. I have never been sick or thrown up –ever.   I did get uncomfortable to the point of crying once...it was because I ate a small plate of speghetti too fast. I told myself, the taste was not worth it and I haven’t had speghetti again. I love it, but don’t like how it feels. I found that a perfect way to measure my food is to always, always know that I cannot hold more than 8 ounces (1 cup) of any food at one time. Ever. It just won’t fit and I will be miserable if I try, so I always measure at home or if out, I try to picture a deck of cards.   A deck of cards is about the size of my tummy now and that’s all I can eat.   I eat alot of chicken and beef. I have never liked pork, that’s just me. I eat alot of salads. My favorite food is chicken salad, tuna salad, or egg salad. They fill me up, and taste great, and don’t leave a heavy feeling in my stomach. A typical day for me is breakfast, one boiled egg, 4 pieces of turkey bacon. Lunch tends to be some deli meat, cheese or a cup of soup. Dinner is whatever we make for the family, but small amounts. Example...1/3 cup of mixed vegetables, 1/3 cup of baked potato, 1/3 cup of roasted beef was yesterday’s dinner. YUM!! I don’t eat desserts, I don’t drink soda. I never liked it, so that’s the reason. Im a tea or water person. I can and have drank diet pop. I can and do use straws daily. I prefer it since drinking gulps doesn’t feel as good as sipping does. I drink regular coffee with splenda and sugar free hazelnut creamer daily. I often have 3 cups a day of coffee. For snacks, I enjoy SF puddings, SF popsicles, SF ice cream bars, or occassionally, some pop corn. I have gone to birthday parties, weddings, etc, and yes, I do have a cupcake or a tiny slice of cake at these events. If I deny myself, I get very depressed and want it even more! So I allow myself a bite or two of whatever it is, and then Im happy. It’s a mental thing, but it works for me. The worse it gets is if I really really want to eat my favorite foods like a full chinese meal of sweet/sour chicken, won ton soup, egg roll, rice, etc...and I absolutely cannot. It’s two bites of chicken, ½ cup of soup and Im done. Full. Sometimes that makes me sad. I miss my favorite foods, but again, being thinner is so much better! It is just not physically possible for me to eat like I used to eat. Im amazed at how much people can put in their bodies now! I watch people eat, and wonder where they are putting that! LOL I have lots of hanging skin, but you know what? It doesn’t bother me too much. It shows me where I was, and where I am now. It shows me what will happen if I let myself go and get back there again. It’s like my badge of honor that says,.."hey, look at me, I’ve lost ALOT of weight." LOL At first, everyone noticed my weight loss, now, not so much. People have stopped commenting, and that is understandable. Im still a big girl, but at least I am not the HUGE girl in the room anymore. I am somewhat normal looking now. No one says, “oh my god, look at how big she is!" like they used to. My husband calls me “tiny". I have to laugh...but to him, I am so different. It feels so good. Im very happy and content with my new tummy and the way I eat. We went on vacation last week, and I had one slice of pizza, and two deep fried cheesecake bites during the week!! AHH! So good, but I was full from the small amount, plus I was satisfied with being able to sample some. Then the guilt hit. I feel guilty if I eat stuff Im not suppose to. That’s a good thing for me. It keeps me in line. It keeps me from just grabbing a bag of chips and dip and indulging. I didnt have this surgery just to ignore the old ways of how I ate. I had to learn to eat properly and watch every bite I put in my mouth. I count caleries now. I stay around 800-1000 per day. That’s comfortable for me and and Im still losing weight at this amount. The weight loss has slowed way down. The months of June/July, I only loss 1 lb each month! But I know it was due to eating stuff I shouldn’t have, and once I got back on track, I know how to control it and go back to the way I know works.   I lost 4 lbs last week! It feels so good! As long as I am on a downward cycle, Im happy and doing what’s right for me. The advice I would have for newbies is this.....this aint’ easy. It’s surgery, and at first, it sucks. You’re going to hurt, heal and learn an entire new way to eat and live. But in just a short short time, you will feel normal again. You will barely be able to remember the surgery at all. The sleeve allows you the control you didnt have with your old, stretched out stomach. I still want bad foods, but I can say no now. I couldn’t before. I couldn’t control my food addiction before surgery. Now, I rarely get hungry, and when I do, a bite of cheese or just a slice or two of deli meat satisfies me. I no longer hide candy in the house or eat an entire pizza like I used to. This surgery is the best thing I ever did for myself. I would do if over and over in a heartbeat. Anything I went thru in the beginning, is so so so, worth it in the end.  If anyone is on the fence about this surgery...don’t hesitate, run to the nearest surgeon and sign up for classes to learn about it. I was one of those that put it off for years, and on the day of my surgery, I sat and cried and didnt want to go . I thank God I did! Losing that small bit of stomach changed my life 100%. All positive. Read all you can about the surgerys, come to the forums for support and know that you are about to start your new, and exciting life “FREE" from pains, free from the curse of obesity. You won’t regret it. 

What a wonderful post !!  It sounds like this surgery has been a life changing event for you, as it has for me !!! 

Thank you for posting about your past year.  It really IS quite the wild ride, isn't it ???!!

Congratulations on your successes this past year !!!

Thanks so much for sharing your story.
I am sharing this with my daughter in the hopes she will see the big picture and opt for this life changing surgery while she is still young.
Donna

Way to go!

Your post brought me to tears.  I am so happy for you!  Thank you so much for sharing!

I can't thank you enough for sharing your story. Your "before" story is so similar to where I am right now. What you've experienced since surgery and the life you're living now is where I want to be. You inspire me and give me hope. Thank you, thank you.

You are the reason I came here today and posted my journey.  Like alot of post surgery folks, we tend to stop coming to the forums after a few months, but the reason for me was because I am out living life!! I no longer am locked in the house on the computer like before.  Some days, I am so busy, I barely have time to eat! LOL  but then I think of how I felt pre surgery.  How scared I was, and how much I loved food and thought I was giving up so much.  I mourned my friend food.  I ate because I LOVE food.  I didnt think that would change.  but you know what? it did.  You learn to eat different, and your body stops craving and driving you crazy with thoughts of food.  Food no longer controls my life.  I know it all sounds so much like a commercial for the surgery, but it really happens.  I want to pay it forward and help someone like I was helped here on this forum.  If I can assure anyone that it really does get better, then I will be happy.   You're not alone, and there is light at the end of the tunnel!  :)  ok, Im sounding corney now...LOL 
Im so happy for you and if you ever have any questions, feel free to ask.  Hang in there! :)

You are inspiring!  Way to take charge and turn your health around and take your life back!

Thank you so much for this.  I am preop and I really needed to hear it.