Hate is a pretty strong word

Rmoneygirl
on 10/24/11 3:45 am - OH
Yes I know hate is a pretty strong word.....But I can honestly say I HATE my sleeve, and HATE this new life.  I HATE not being able to drink or eat anything.  I hate being in pain all the time and I Hate being uncomfable all the time.

I honestly feel that I've ruined my life.  I'm 30 and have just entered into a life of frustration, pain and sadness.
    
joie_de_sleeve
on 10/24/11 4:01 am - IN
It gets better. When I was two-three weeks out, I had similar feelings. It's a big life change. It takes time to adjust.

VSG 7/26/11

LilySlim Weight loss tickers
 

weightyissues
on 10/24/11 4:05 am
This is all I needed to read, especially since I've been questioning myself even having the surgery. I really hope it isn't this bad. I hope you feel better soon.  
Mom4Jazz
on 10/24/11 4:11 am
The regrets are common early on - as is second guessing ourselves before surgery, by the way. Most of us did one if not both of those.

First, it is a major surgery, and there's a recuperation time. Second, most obese people have a lot of baggage tied up in their relationship with food so there's a greiving process in not being able to eat the way you used to. The surgeon operates on our stomach, but not on our brain.

It's good to be prepared. It's also good to realize that it improves and folks generally come around to a very positive view of their sleeve - either loving it as I do or at least feeling that it beats the heck out of being morbidly obese.

Highest weight: 335 lbs, BMI 50.9
Pre-op weight: 319 lbs, BMI 48.5
Current range: 140-144, BMI 21.3 - 22

175+ lbs lost, maintaining since February 2012

Mom4Jazz
on 10/24/11 4:05 am
It probably won't help much to hear that people often feel this way but once they relearn the eating and drinking patterns things improve - but it's true.

You haven't entered a life of frustration, pain and sadness. The pain should improve soon. If it doesn't you need to see your doctor. As for the sadness - I don't think we realize how much we've tied our emotional lives to food until after surgery. I had some therapy help with that.

It does get better. Buyers remorse is very common, but many who had it really enjoy their sleeve a few months down the road.

Highest weight: 335 lbs, BMI 50.9
Pre-op weight: 319 lbs, BMI 48.5
Current range: 140-144, BMI 21.3 - 22

175+ lbs lost, maintaining since February 2012

Jenny C.
on 10/24/11 4:07 am
I'm so sorry that you're going through this.  I hope that this is a normal case of newly-post-op buyer's remorse, but it does seem to be more than that given the strength of emotion that you're expressing.

How is your current experience different than your expectations?  Is it the case that you didn't know what to expect, or that it just wasn't real to you until you experienced it?  Has your pain been evaluated by your surgeon?  Is it something that is expected to resolve soon?

One of the factors that I believe leads to regret in the immediate post-op time is that you still have most of the weight, but can't eat food in the way you're used to.  I experienced this on previous diets: I was eating hardly anything, hungry and uncomfortable all the time, but still heavy.  It was demoralizing for me.  

Imagine that it's four months from now, your pain is gone and you're down 60 pounds or so; you can eat relatively normal food types, though very small amounts.  Is that still a "hate-able" situation, or does it seem better to you?

Again, given the strenth of your emotion, I would hope that you have access to a good counselor. Some issue is really getting stirred up for you, and now is the best time to figure out what that is and how to comfort yourself.  Wishing you the best.
                                                
(deactivated member)
on 10/24/11 4:14 am
Great response! I feel for the newbies who deal with this, I didn't but it sure feels very real to me. Makes me want to hug them!

I know the first week I think I was too exhausted to have strong feelings, it took me 3 weeks to get much down.

Seems like I see a lot of positive posts about at the 3 to 4 week mark. Hoping the OP is feeling better soon.

Hugs!
Crystal M.
on 10/24/11 4:13 am - El Paso, TX
You are two weeks out from surgery. It is very common to feel this way this soon after surgery. Your hormones are all out of whack and, like you said, you're uncomfortable. Most of us went through the same thing. It will pass.

I am worried because you said you can't eat or drink anything. Not eating at two weeks out is fine, so long as you're drinking your water & protein shakes. But if you can't drink, then you need to call your doctor ASAP. Dehydration will have you back in the hospital quickly. Also, you shouldn't be in much pain anymore ~ another reason to call your doctor.

It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you're not.                

edelu
on 10/24/11 4:14 am - los angeles, CA
And you will hate it until you don't.  This surgery has a lot of moving parts and you experience most of the bad ones in the first three weeks.  So settle down to hate for another week to 10 days and then know other emotions will take over.  I'm not saying you'll love it right away but you will start to catch up and understand it.  Also know you are not alone. If you place the term, 'what did i do' or mistake in the search box you'll find other 1-3 week folks who hated it too.  Time.
kimberleyann
on 10/24/11 5:03 am - Kingston, NS, Canada
Okay, here is my point of view only, Suck it up buttercup!  It is done, you can't go back and undo it. I had surgery one day after you and am doing everyday things, driving, walking, house hold chores and so on( no heavy lifting yet). Sipping to get in my liquids and protein.  If you want to wallow in self pity that is your perogative, but here is my question, why did you do this? did u hate being fat? hate being unable to do stuff? hate not fitting in? hate being on your way to a heart attack , diabetes, stroke, wheelchair? Get off pain meds, get out of bed/chair and get moving. Sip what you can every 5 minutes and drink your protein drinks. I am not allowed any real food for another 3 weeks and that is the price I pay for years of abusing my body.  Pick your self up and put your head some where positive. Or call your doctor/therapist and get some help.  Sorry if I am not patting you on the back and saying poor you, there are enough people on these boards to do that, I am playing the tough love card and saying You can do it!

    
       

   
   

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