Feeling Like I Failed My Surgery - Even After Weight Loss

I had my sleeve done in April of this year. After surgery I have lost 57 pounds which I think is great for 8 months. Physically I feel a lot better and people that know me see the obvious results. Mentally though I feel like I failed the surgery.

Portion wise I am eating right amounts (at least compared to pre-surgery). I am eating more than I did the first 3 months after surgery but I think to some extent it's normal since at first I was getting full with almost nothing. So on the food part I think that I am doing ok.

I am dissapointed in myself because the one thing I can't control is sweets. I am eating way too many sweets, a lot more than I should.  I am not looking for an excuse or anything but I am just dissapointed because I thought that I would get the "dumping syndrome" after eating sweets and that would cause for me to NEVER touch sweets again. In a weird way I do wish to get sick so that I stop eating them.

I went to a therapist and she told me that I should "embrace" not getting the dumping syndrome and enjoy in moderation. She is right when you have control but I obviously don't. I am working hard to stay on top of excersing and eating healthy meals. I hope that no one else is going through this. My point I guess is that you have got to work on mental issues (the issues that cause you to binge, overeat, etc) constantly. It is a fight with yourself that might require therapy even after the surgery.

I am terrified of failing and gaining all my weight back which eventually I can if I don't stop this. I will need to contine to work on this each and every day.

I dunno. I hear of therapists saying that and I wonder if they would suggest an alcoholic embrace beer in moderation or a smoker embrace cigarettes in moderation. For SOME of us, that's what it's like. Maybe not you, maybe you. You know you better than anyone.

Me, I have had to rule certain foods out of my life because there isn't any moderation. If I eat those foods, I want more. And once I've given myself permission for some, there's no stopping me. At least that has been my experience of myself in the past and since hunger wasn't what made me eat those foods before, I doubt the sleeve has changed that.

I encourage you to work with your therapist, however I also encourage you to take care of yourself. If that means saying to your therapist, "I hear you but I don't believe I can moderate that food right now so I'm not going to try it. Maybe later, if I feel stronger, but not right now (or never if that's how you feel)" then say it. I did.

Therapy requires honesty and work, but it doesn't always require accepting what the therapist says whole cloth. You are you, not her. In a good therapy relationship, it should be OK to say something like I quoted above. Scary, maybe, but OK.

Good luck!

 Sweets are a slippery slope. For those that can eat just a bite - not so much. For many of us those sweet foods are a trigger to eat more and more and more! I do find that when i eliminate sweets I stop craving them.  Hate to say it but the best way to stop eating sweets is to completely eliminate them from your diet if you cant control your intake.  Sucks. 

Regarding the dumping - that is a side effect of RNY but not of the sleeve.  Were you aware of that before surgery?  I have seen people that have big problems with sweets choose the RNY with the hope that dumping will help them control their sweet tooth.  I do hope you were informed of this before surgery - it sucks to expect one outcome and get another. 

Either way you have lost weight and you recognize your problem and want to change it - that is awesome! Nobody said this would be easy (even though I wi**** was).

Good luck to you. Maybe going to a support group would help. keep coming here for support too - there are so many wonderful vets who give great advice and wonderful support!

Thanks for reaponses. I was not aware the dumping was only for rue and y either way it is something i have to work on. Thanks
!

I got heavy because I LVOED to eat food- burgers, fries, pizza ect. Was never big on sweets. OMG..now I find myself craving them- I never had sweet cravings prior to surgery- now I crave them and once I allowed myself a few-I kept craving them more and more.

Saturday night I was out with friends and having fun-I started eating chocolate covered pretzels- I ate almost the whole bag! I couldnt stop. About  half an hour later in the car going home I thought I was having a heart attack! I was sweating my chest was hurting I was SO uncomfortable-I was going to the ER and a block away I started to feel like I was going to vomit- and I did- and I immedietly felt better. Needless to say-I will definetly NOT be eating chocolate covered pretzels ever again!!! I learned my lesson the hard way.

Read The Thin Commandments by Gullo.  You can read a brief description of it here:

http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/thin-commandments

If you can't control yourself around sugar, then you need to box sugar out of your life.  The book is not a WLS friendly diet, but it's a great tool for strategy in identifying and dealing with your problem foods.  I'm not a big fan of self-help books, but this one was really helpful to me (thank you, Brandilynn!).

I swear, if sugar was discovered today, it'd be a controlled substance!

I'm not huge on sweets, but I eat too much of everything. I started Overeaters Anonymous last Saturday. I have no idea whether it will work, but there were several people there who successfully overcame their sugar addiction. I'm really worried that I'll fail the surgery, too, if I don't address some of the compulsivity or disordered thinking and bad habits related to food.

Best of luck to you. I can't really "recommend" OA, b/c I haven't even read all the introductory info, but I thought I'd mention it as an option in case you're interested.

Oddly, my desire for sweets has lessened since surgery, and I was a major sugar addict prior to surgery....but I find that chips are my downfall now...the salty craving is as bad as the sugar craving used to be.....and I want more and more and can eat quite a bit for my tiny tummy...now at Halloween, I did have some candy and it triggered a few days of overindulgence.....so sugar can gain a hold of me again...really I can't have chips or candy in the house, it's too much temptation.

So you are not alone....many of us have trigger foods that cause us to lose our self control that we work hard for.....I don't think moderation works for all of us and with certain foods....if I had a treat outside of the house, maybe...but if there are bags of candy or chips lying around...I will keep eating it.

I appreciate your honesy! I somehow makes me feel relieved that I am not alone. I guess we all have different struggles. I'm glad we have this type of support online and in person so that we can feel comfortable talking about this kind of things.

I'm much like you... I've lost a lot, and I'm proud, but I do wish I could completely control my sugar cravings. I do.