What if I don't like how I look??

With surgery fast approaching (I submit for approval in less than a month), my brain has decided to start sliding in subliminal doubts about what I'm about to do. This morning I woke up in a panic...."What if I lose the weight and don't like the way I look?" REALLY? I have ALWAYS wanted to be skinny for as far back as I remember. I have been obese since childhood. So, why is this issue even entering into my head? 

I want to be healthy, feel better, move better, wear super cute clothes, etc. but I guess I haven't really given any thought to what I will look like. I have NEVER been at a normal weight.  So, I guess it's the fear of the unknown??

I realize this is completely insane. The importance of improving my overall health and longevity far outweighs the superficial issue of looks, but did anyone else freak out about this???

Man, I just need to get on the other side of this surgery or my brain is going to drive me batty! :)

you look fantastic!!!! I'm still 60lbs away from my personal goal 40lbs away from my doctors goal and I'm almost 2 months out... I love the way I look I'll have to upload some pic of myself before surgery my pic now is like 3yrs from the last time I went on a diet.. but I'm 30lbs skinnier than that pic lol... 

Congrats!!! I am excited to have those kind of results. Soon, very soon! It's funny how our brains can overthink things. Keep up the great work!

I went through this also!  I've never said anything to anyone about it because it's supposed to be about getting healthy.  Screw that....I want to wear jeggings and not feel self conscious!  Even when I was 356 pounds, I felt that I had a "pretty face".  I've always been a chunkster....in first grade, I weighed 107lbs.  By 6th grade I was at least 220.  I've never known anything else than being the fat girl.  I put off the surgery for a while because I was afraid i would be ugly after surgery.  What a funny thought lol.

I was sleeved in September.  I've lost 96 lbs total and I still see the old me.  Family has not recognized me at the store; however, I can't really see a difference/  So, I don't think you have anything to worry about.  It's so weird, I've spent my entire life wondering what I would look like skinny and it's so surreal to think that in the next year, I will finally find out :).

Good luck to you with your surgery :)  You are going to do awesome!

Thanks for the support. I am right there with you. I can't wait to explore the world of fashion. My wordrobe has always consisted of jeans, tops, and maybe a cardigan. I even stopped wearing cute shoes because I felt  I didn't have the cute clothes to match. This time next year, I will be rocking a whole new wordrobe!

Congrats on your success! My mom recently lost 70 lbs on her own with diet and excercise. She has the same trouble seeing the difference.  I guess it takes time for our head to catch up to our body. Right now, my body needs to catch up to my head....lol :) Good luck on your journey. Keep up the great work!

Ok...when you lose the weight...you may find that you don't look like you THOUGHT you would in all those skinny daydreams you had (I'm not the only one who had skinny daydreams, am I??)...and you might even still have some hang-ups about your body...

BUT...even with all that, you will like it so much better than being obese. I promise.

I'm relocating to the St. Louis area in a few months. Maybe one day I'll pop over to Kansas City and we can take our thin-selves to try on every dress in Anthropologie!

Lindsey

Skinny DAYDREAMS?? Um, hello, I have out and out skinny FANTASIES! lol

It's sad, but even with the skinny fantasies, I stopped caring about what I look like years ago. I just got to a point where I ignored that I was obese and focused on other things. It's been weird getting back to focusing on me again. Old anxieties have reared their ugly head, but this time I will be sucessful and am ready to embrace the new life this change will bring.

St Louis isn't very far away, so anytime you want to meet for a shopping date just let me know. You'll have to give me some time to catch up though so I can fit into Anthropologie clothes too. haha :)  

This is not insane.  

I'm going thru the same thing myself but I didn't start having these feelings until 11 months post-op.  I was fine leading up to my surgery and while I was losing weight because my thought was "how could I not like the way I look when I'm smaller?"  When I got down to about 180 I started not liking what I was seeing.  After losing that much weight I felt like my face and neck were too thin and I didn't like seeing my collar bones stick out or being able to feel my ribs and hip bones when I lay down.  I became obsessed with not losing anymore weight- so much that my family took my scale away from me because every time I got on it and I had lost more weight I just about had a break down.  I tried to stop the weight lose at 180 but I've lost 11 more pounds and can't seem to get a handle on stopping it.

Yes, I am healthier now that I don't weigh almost 300 lbs but my emotional health is not so healthy right now. I've started seeing a therapist and started anti-depressants about a month ago for this issue and both are helping a great deal already.  Right now my attitude about it is whatever.  I don't think I'm going to lose much more but I know I will probably lose a few more pounds.  I really thought I was crazy for feeling this way and I was embarrassed for feeling this way but I have also been heavy since I was a child and I've never seen myself as a normal person so it was kind of a shock when I didn't recognize the girl staring back at me in the mirror.

My best advice to you is to start therapy before you have your surgery.  It will help you work thru those feelings and hopefully help you to not end up like me.  

Wow---you've done an amazing job! I appreciate your response and absolutely agree that it is important to make sure we support our mental health through this journey as well as our physical health. I have been seeing a therapist about twice a month, which has been a huge blessing. I have a laundry list of things I am sorting through. It's so important to understand what got me here in the first place and who I want to be on the other side of this journey. I have heard that with rapid weightloss, a lot of people can experience depression due to the release of hormones in the fat cells. But I think it's a physical breaking down of barriers that we've created that effects us emotionally too. i know this is going to be different than any other experience in my life. There are going to be ups and downs, but in the end I am the one who decides how to accept the changes. I am choosing to embrace whatever comes because it's better than where I am now :) Good luck on your journey. I hope things go well for you.