OT: Would like to divorce my in-laws but keep my husband

I'm just ranting and raving a bit because, after almost 20 years of marriage, I despise these people. We'd be fine if they filled the role of only family, but they are also his bosses and coworkers. No one can separate business and personal, everyone stays firmly mired in other people's business, and the parents play favorites among the siblings for no apparent reason. I'm just hitting on some of the issues; the rest sound made up, they're so ridiculous, but I could go on and on.

We moved an hour away just to get off the family compound. Did I not mention they all also live by each other? We don't drink and party every night, so we aren't invited on family vacations (excuse: someone needs to stay behind to run the business). The parents are not grandparents at all, just egg and sperm donors once removed. This is a long and sordid tale--I'm considering writing a novel just so I can kill some of them off in creative ways.

I'm done. I'm finished inviting them to my chidren's events that they don't bother attend. I'm tired of them treating my husband, who is the only one who can keep everything running, like he's a red-headed ******* stepchild. I'm tired of them running my entire family down because we don't live at the compound. I want a divorce all of them...except my husband. He's a keeper.

Okay, rant over (but still going strong inside my head).

 you should wite that book.  

Yes please write the book; I have the same kind of relationship with my MIL she is the only one here.  And you are right things sound so ridiculous.  Like:

We were going to take her out for supper one Sunday evening and had made arrangements.  We got a phone call from my brother in-law that morning that my sister was in the hospital and not expected to live.  Well we cancelled dinner and went sat with my sister while she passed on.  My dear MIL calls the next day to tell me I would use any excuse to not go for supper with her.  B*tch.  This is the same woman that I was having almost every weekend for sunday dinner and that is how she repaid me.  Hard to believe what those people can be like.

Our husbands must be related! At first, my mantra with my MIL was "kill her with kindness." Now I'd just like to kill her. The level of narcissism in my hub's family is astronomical. It's amazing they can function.

As I type this, one of my BILs is on the phone with my husband complaining about a nephew (one of the few that works) because he questioned his paycheck (BIL's wife does payroll). This gets my husband all worked up and there will go the rest of the night.

Great.

 I am with you, I don't play well with my inlaws, so I just stay away from them. This weekend we went to a picnic and my brother-in-law stopped by and I decided to just do my thing. In the past I would have stopped talking to the people I was enjoying talking to and made my brother in law the focus of my attention, but this year I said eff it, I will no longer put my own fun on hold for them when they can't be bothered to go out of their way for me. 

I don't like they way they treat me, my kids or my husband, so I will no longer put myself out there to be hurt. 

I will raise a glass to that! I have decided to handle it the exact same way. My life and the lives of my family are too important to waste my free time catering to them. Good luck to you!

It took 6 years but my MIL finally did something in front of my husband.  He put her on a plane the next day and she hasn't been back since.  I really don't get why people have to be so awful, but it's just life sometimes.  I don't know what I'd do if business was involved too, run away maybe!

Three cheers for your husband!! Good for him for standing up for you. Some days I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or go underground.

 Wow a lot of this is like reading my life story. My inlaws are horrid people too. They are farmers and the BILs farm with them at the "compound". (I love that by the way and plan on using it, thank you).  My husband can't farm because of allergies and they hold that against him.  Really? What asses. I'm glad though. To see them every day would make me sick.  We don't do holidays with them any more because I always get stuck doing the dishes by myself while the other daughter-in-laws sit on their butts. Which, by the way, they don't bring a dish to the dinners either. Ugh! Our family has to eat in the kitchen while the rest eat in the dining room.  Whatever. I'm done with all of that. 

I hate to say it but it is kind of nice to hear other people's frustrations with the inlaws. Good to know that I'm not the only one treated like crap from the wicked witch of the north!  :) 

Does it amaze you that your husband came from all of that? It amazes me on a daily basis. I know others will read this thread and think "oh, I'm sure there is another side to this story," but the sad thing is that there really isn't. That's the problem. There is no explanation for the horrible way they choose to treat their family members.

I tried to hide it from my kids for the longest time, but they are old enough now that they see things for themselves. I don't make a big deal about things in front of them (or at least I try not to), but my children aren't stupid. The best part of it is that my children are mature enough to understand that pity is the appropriate response instead of anger. I'm afraid their mom doesn't always have that maturity.