These days I'm filled with Anger and Regret!!

I had my surgery almost 2 months ago. The moment I came home I had trouble getting my liquids in. I've been hospitalized 3 times for dehydration and malnutrition. I got a PICC line and now I eat only through my line. I am allowed ice chips, water to take pills only and now hot tea. I haven't eaten anything in 3 weeks. I honestly feel this was the worst mistake of my life. I did 6 months of research and none of my research revelaed what I'm going through now. Yes, I'm down 34.1 pounds. But, my doctor could care less about that now, since it is not a priority of hers. I understand that she wants me to be healthy, but I am no longer excited about it. Since I hook up my TPN (liquid food through my line) at night, I pee every 3 hours. I am sad and wish I had never done this surgery. I should be like everyone else. Excited about my new life and embrace my new tool. I am just anger and full of regret. The thing I hate more than anything is when people tell me its a bump in the road. Everytime someone says that, I want to punch them in the face..

Wow!  It sounds like you're having a really difficult time - and I'm sorry to hear that.   What kind of options do you have long term?  What's next? 

Hope you feel better very soon!

That sucks. Bummer to hear that you are struggling.

I hope it's only temporary.

I'm glad you shared this. People looking into this surgery need to know that it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

*hugs*

 Punch away! Even though we all research the possible complications, we NEVER think it will happen to us.  It must truly suck to be going through this.  I can only imagine your level of sadness and frustration.  The same thing happened to a personal friend of mine.  She is two years post op.  she got off the TPN and a few months ago delivered a very healthy baby.  

I really am sorry. I hope they get you fixed up soon!  Hang in there as best you can.

I am sorry things are not going well! I know it has to be difficult...what exactly is your surgeon's plan or reasoning as to why you are having such a hard time keeping things down? I am sending hugs your way and I hope things get better soon!

I guess I should first say.. my surgeon's office and hospital (John's Hopkins) has been incredible! Someone calls me almost everyday. She hopes I will be on this for 8 weeks, so another 5 weeks..Aparently, some people's stomachs just need extra time to adjust to the huge adjustment. My family and friends have been nothing but supportive, it's just this SUCKS!! With all the research I did, I never came across any of this. 

Also, Thanks for all of your support!!

I am very sorry to hear of all the difficulties you are having. I am probably a little more concerned since I have the same surgeon. I really hope that she gets things straightened out for you and that your life gets back to some sense of normalcy. 

This is a pretty big bump in the road so hopefully people can be a little more understanding that this isn't your average bump in the road. 

Take care,

As angry and regretful as I am.. Let me just say that both Dr. Lidor and Dr. Schweitzer each time I was in the hospital came in and checked on me. They both have cracked jokes and are very personable. If thier is one thing I would not worry about, is having her as your surgeon. If it makes you feel any better, when she decided to have the PICC line put in, she and the other Drs. on the floor pulled strings to have someone come in to do it at 8pm on a Sunday night. Also, she said this happens only 3% of the time.  Her NP Colleen calls almost every other day. Again, as regretful as I am, if I had to do it again, I would only choose Johns Hopkins. I wouldn't worry. Thanks, and good luck on your surgery.

i am so sorry your having so many issues............  things must be so hard for you right now.   so what are your options ?  is this a long term thing or are they looking at another surgery?  whats next?