my regrets (and confessions)... and tip for first 6 months post op..

OK, I admit... I feel like I failed in some points.  I have been debating come on here and posting about it, I know what i messed up on, and felt it was best to share it and just take the fall out.  

 

The first 6 months (as many have stated and I reiterate now) after surgery are AMAZING... TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE of it.  You will not have as easy of a time to lose weight as you will for that period of time.  I took advantage the first few months and if you look at my weight for past few months you will see i didn't use it all the way through...  Yes I have lost 84 pounds since surgery in less than 8 months.  But still, I could have done SO MUCH BETTER...  December and January were horrible months for me.  So much stress, heart ache about jobs, medical concerns for my son, financial... I found my slider food.  Something that i used pre-op and now post op I find myself with it again.  Sweets.  Many people struggle with sweets and food.  I didn't binge eat on carbs and pasta and bread pre-op... it was cookies with the sweet icing, brownies, chocolate bars... chocolate bars and M & M's  mostly.  It didn't matter how much I tried to focus, I would find myself looking at an empty wrapper.  I thought post op I would find myself above this with a complete focus.  
 

 

Well post op I kept away from all the sweets... Until Thanksgiving.  The week before Thanksgiving I got a third rejection from a teaching job, after interviews and demo lessons each time... I found myself eating a hershey kiss and thought well it was just one... then I was looking at 6 or 7 empty wrappers.  I would get SO upset at myself... but then I got hit with the fact my 1 year old may need open heart surgery... and after walking out of that appointment guess what, I found that without even thinking of it I had eaten a hershey bar...  and then when I couldn't make rent those christmas cookies I made for family get together were getting snacked on one at a time until I had eaten 4 or 5 and was feeling it...  This happened time and time again.  I had been going to the gym...  My son got sick and he couldn't go to Kids Club at the gym, which meant I couldn't go to the gym.   Then my other son got sick... When both were better my husband was sick so I took both kids to the gym (usually I took only my 3 year old) and then my younger son (1 year old) was fussing so much I got called to pick up within 15 minutes of starting workout... It wasn't worth going to the gym then... I was slacking.  

 

I have re-started myself.  I am at 213 for a weight...  I have been bouncing up and down for the past 2 months... I found myself back up at 218 a few weeks ago and i think THANKFULLY I got sick, and it pulled a couple pounds off me and put me back on track.  I am back on track.  I know it is not too late... It is never too late.  But I regret that I had to do this, I have to get back on track. i wish I never got OFF track. 

 

I am back on My Fitness Pal every day (although i was so embarassed by my sweets I found myself excluding them from MFP when I posted on there).  I am back at the gym 4 times a week minimum.  I go right after dinner with my 3 year old (he loves going to the gym with me, he plays in the Kids Club).  I am training for a Half Marathon for June by jogging/walking for one hour each time I am at the gym... I am planning on increasing time the closer I get to June.  My average pace per mile has gone from 18 minutes per mile down to 14 minutes per mile and continuing to go down (one day I even was at 13:24 pace but that was with me doing decline for a while).  I just wish I never got off track because maybe I would have hit my goal before of getting under 200 by New Years.  That was my original goal and I didn't hit that.  My next goal is my birthday to be at 190.  I set that goal on New Years Day... Sine New Years day I have lost only 3 pounds of that... So I am refocusing back again and refusing to give up.  My full Goal was to get to 165 (goal) by June 25th, One year out.  That means I have 4 months to lose 48 pounds... Or 20 weeks... which averages to 2.4 pounds per week.  I can do it with a focus and determination.  I just need to continue forward.  But I know that those 48 pounds will be sticky to me and i need to push through to get to them.  This would allow me to be considered 'normal' with an average BMI... and to weigh less than my husband (always my goal, which he has gone from 175 down to 168 recently)

 

Never Give Up on your goal.  BUT for newly sleeved or those considering sleeve, please take my advice, really take advantage of those 6 months.  I may have lost 100 pounds but to get to a 'healthy' weight I am still a good 50 pounds away.  These 50 pounds will stick to me, I know from others stories... If I had continued onward during my first 6 months post op and never strayed, who knows where I would be... I might have been at goal by now.  What I do know is that I can't go back and change my actions, I can only continue forward.  But I can share what happened in the hopes that it helps motivate a person to NOT be like me and fall off the wagon.  I am continuing to struggle (my father in law, whom we live with due to finances, brought home a couple boxes of cookies from the store, including my cookie vice...  I am avoiding the main dining room where I know they sit on the table in hopes if I don't see them I won't grab one without another thought) but I am determined to meet my goals and expectations of myself.  

 

So there is my advice, take it if you will, leave feedback if you want.

Girl get those cookies out of your house! That's like making a recovering alcoholic sit in a bar all day long!

You are strong, brave and awesome and you can do this! Thanks for posting a dose of real life for us to recon with.

Awesome post! Clearly you are at one with yourself and your stray from program. That is the first and biggest step. You have what it takes to accomplish your goal. No doubt here. Don't let the sugar back in and keep a laser focus on your goal!

congrats for your awakening and honestly!

thank you!

Please don't be so hard on yourself.  You are going through a lot.  Sick kids take our focus off of everything but them.  It sounds like you are getting back on track.  Don't be disappointed if you don't make your goal weights in the time frame you have set.  Just don't give up.  It is not a race, it is a lifetime project.  Your sleeve is going to work three years from now. 

 

Good luck

Sounds like you don't need a lecture but rather a pat on the back. Nice job getting back on track. Stay focused on what got you there so it doesn't happen again. It sounds like you know the warning signs and can recognize them early. Remember also by not having junk in the house you are doing your family a favor too. They need to be eating healthy just like you. You don't want them to end up where you started.

I wish I could control what my father in law and mother in law buy. Dh has taken to where he has thrown things out before if he knew it was too much for me to be around during the really emotional and stressed times (like throwing away candy left over from Halloween after I got job rejection, throwing away left over cake from birthday party etc)

Thanks. I just hope I really do stay on track!

At least I haven't bought any girl scout cookies!!! I have been asked at least five times. Each time I say no thanks!

Thank you for posting! There are many of us who go through the same types of issues who just don't post about it. I am one of them! I am almost a year out and wanted to hit my 100 pounds lost. I will keep going and fight. We will have stumbles, but we have to learn how to deal with them! 

Ashley J.

Congratulations on your success so far, and a hearty high five for your future success.  It sounds to me that you are a strong and independent woman who knows what it takes to get it done, it's just doing it that is hard.  If it was easy no one would have a weigh problem.  Your pretty rough on yourself, but you already knew that.  Cleansing the mind and bearing the soul are always a relief to each of us and for some of us the motevation we need at a low point.  My suggestion would be to print your letter and read it out loud whenever you feel low.  I myself, haven't had the surgery yet, I'm waiting for my date as we speak, but it's letters like this that make me feel that I can loose the weight.  I have printed your letter and I will read it as needed.  Best of luck to you and your family and may God hold you all in the palm of His hands.