non supportive friends

My sister:  "I know three people who have had that surgery about 15 years ago and they all gained it back and more."

 

I mean.....was the sleeve surgery even around 15 yrs ago? I think not.

 

Work friend: "Are you prepared for when you gain the weight back and realize you could have just done this on your own?"

 

Uh......hmmmmmmm......no answer.

 

Friend who had band and had to get it replaced:  "you might throw up a lot because you really can't eat things like steak, chicken so your esophagus might suffer"

 

Really? Thanks!

 

I honestly can't find even one positive person in my life. 

you know what they say about opinions.... everyone's got one.   it's just too bad not everyone has TACT.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.  When I told my "friends" that I doing this, all I heard was how I was taking the easy way out.  Right.......like this whole process is easy???   So, I really have no one here to support me...........which is why OH and MFP are so important.  For the most part, there's no judgment's made........well, there's the carb drama, but truly, I believe most of the people are honestly trying to be helpful the best way they know how.  The point is that when you can't find the support where you expect it to be, look for it other places.

I think that my "friends" felt they were losing an eating buddy and that's hard to cope with for them.  Also, I'm now the smallest of all of them and when I do see any of them, they are all "well, I could be skinny too, if I did it the easy way" or things to that effect.

As for how long VSG has bee around.............it's been around for at least 60 years, but not as a WLS per se.  It's pretty much what surgeons have been doing for a long time when dealing with cancer of the stomach.  I have a great uncle who had most of his stomach removed when I was just barely in kindergarten.  That was 60 years ago, so that's why I know of the surgery.

I tried to educate those who questioned my choice.........it didn't do much good.  People often will hear only what they want to hear.

Be good to yourself, find support wherever you can.  Join MFP if you haven't already.  I'm Justme72847 there is you do join and want to add me

YOU are in charge of YOU.........don't let this negativity get to you..............chin up!  You're journey is YOURS........take charge of it and learn to enjoy all that awaits you.

 

 

 

Really -- this surgery wasn't being done 15 years ago. I believe your friend had gastric bypass -- that's not what I'm having.

Sure!  I know I can lose weight and gain it back on my own.  That's why I'm trying something different - since I've lost weight and gained it back before, I expect this will help me not repeat that mistake.  After all, statistically only about 3% of people lose weight and keep it off without surgery.  So my chance are way better with surgery!

I am not having a band.  My doctor says I'll be able to eat steak, chicken and other dense proteins. 

Good luck!  You can do this and be successful!  You just have to ignore the naysayers -- especially the ones who may be jealous of your success (which happens!)

We've been pretty lucky (me=VSG, wife=RNY) and were just talking about how we ran into some friends the other day that we haven't seen in probably three months--they wouldn't have recognized us if we hadn't walked up to them in the crowd. We all went to a brewery to eat lunch, they are all positive and supportive even tho every one of them is overweight and has struggled with that for years. We made an effort to deflect conversation away from us and the details of what we are doing (because frankly we are immersed in our weight loss right now and sort of sick of talking about it), but regardless, they were genuinely interested in our workouts, all of our efforts, and how they've paid off for us. One of them actually said she's considering getting surgery next year, so that makes us feel good since we know she'd have a much better life.

We haven't told many people about the surgery just because of the risk of negative comments.

The most negative person was actually my PCP. She had the standard under-educated comments that we all hear or read about.

If you have a WLS Support group in your area, hook up with them. Surround yourself with the positive people, try to ignore the rest. You are doing the right things for yourself. Others are afraid or uneducated about it, but that's their thing.

I had one friend blow up at me and tell me that only fat lazy people who don't want to work at losing weight get this stuff done. He did not know at that point that I was going to get the surgery done. I told him and wow was I blasted. He really does believe that those of us that do this are all really fat and lazy, even though he knows how hard I had been working out and running.

Some people are just plain ignorant and rude. Since I got that response I have not told anyone else that is close to me as I just don't want all that negativity at this point in my journey.

I hope that you are able to find someone that is supportive of you and your new WOL

As our relationship with food changes, so often does our relationship with those around us.  Sometimes we have to let those relationships go and/or at least dismiss the stupidity of others for what it is.  Be VERY kind to yourself.  Keep the positive self talk going!  Surround yourself with positive people to keep you motivated.  Seek community support like in this forum and network in your own community.  It's essential to your life long journey and success!  I wish you the best! :)

Thanks everyone! I wonder who my true friends will be a year from now. I'm thinking I'll have a fresh new and positive circle by then! 

That is a good attitude!  I hope you find that your life is greatly improved by having this surgery.  It won't be easy and you will need to monitor your weight so that it does not get out of control again but it is like getting a do over.  One where you can control the outcome.  If you use the time while you are losing the weight to change your life style and relationship with food, you will succeed. 

Just remember that you have friends on this board and we are here to cheer you on and help you when you need it.  There is usually someone on here that has been where you are and tell you what has or has not worked for them to help you in your journey.

Good luck!

Are you on MFP? Lots of us are and we're all about positivity.

Sorry your IRL peeps aren't being supportive. Let it roll off your back. Your success is yours. No one can take it away from you. This is your journey. These are your choices. You can choose to rise above it!