non supportive friends

I work in the mental health field and somebody in my program calls people like that psychic vampires. Meaning they will suck the life force right out of you if they are allowed. You want positive then surround your self with positive people. That is what I try to do. My best friend is very supportive of my surgery but in general is negative which I ignore and just focus on our friendship and he gets it.

That's a dam shame!  You have all the support in the world on OH!!  Were all here for you!!

 Barbara

I am so so sorry you are getting this negativity. I will say, YEARS ago, when I first began my journey here, my husband felt the same way... it was the easy way out... it is for people who are lazy.... then he watched me. He watched me gain all the weight I had lost a few years before I met him in one instance of being on bed rest during my pregnancy. He saw me try diet.... after diet... .after diet... working out... eating clean... trying as hard as I could only to lose a couple pounds. He would work out with me, and not even be able to keep up (especially Zumba... he would tire out way before me)... he saw my struggle. After that, and the research I showed him about these surgeries, he was on board. 

However, I do not know for sure if any of my other friends will be the same. So I have told only two friends... and they are the two most non-judgmental people! So I knew they would support me even if they didnt agree (especially since I went to Mexico). My work I told I had surgery on my stomach because I suffered in pain for so many years (which, in all honesty... is true! i have had weird pain for years and couldnt figure it out. Weird thing, since having surgery, the pain has subsided. Not sure what that is about but hopefully it's long term! With the rest of my friends, when the weight comes off, I will just say I am high protein and working out... and the quick weight loss wont be odd to them because when I lost weight the first time, it was very quick. (50lbs in 3 months... it was nuts! Still not sure how it happened either). I think once I get to my goal weight, people might have more questions because I have never been that small. So we will see...

ANYWAY... point of all that was to let you know that we all deal with negativity... whether it's people saying things to us, or if it is trying to avoid the negativity all together! I am also a heart on my sleeve girl... so not telling people is hard. However, I dont need the negativity. I am sorry that you have to deal with that. 

Sorry they are not being supportive.  There is a lot of misinformation out there.

To your sister & work friend:  "Statistically, 95-99% of people who lose more than 50 lbs "on their own" will gain it back.  WLS is the best treatment for obesity currently offered by the medical profession.  Did your friends have the VSG procedure?  Let me tell you how it is different.  Did you know there are actually 4 types of weight loss surgeries?"

Friend with band:  "Yeah, that's why I am not getting the band."  I have yet to throw up post-op.  I know some people do, and I'm sure I will eventually, but not everyone does.   Eat slowly, chew well, and you will be fine.

What helped me was always coming back to the research.  Everyone has an anecdote.  I have medical research.  I believe the medical research is a better resource for making this decision.

Good. You have saved yourself a lot of pain and frustration. You know who NOT to go to for help or sympathy with this.

Better to know of their ignorance now that find out when you're in dire straits.

So. Do you have a support system that doesn't include these people at all? If not, it's time to figure out how to do this. And it can be done!

Sleeves have been around since the 70s for WLS but they are even older for other medical reasons, at LEAST 80 years.  We pretty well know the long term results.

People mean well but they are just a bit ignorant about the whole process.  They care about you and they don't want you to suffer.  Just keep reminding yourself of that over and over and over. ;o)))))