I hate my sleeve

I am so sorry to be negative, i really am since I am usually the upbeat positive one.  I hate that I got sleeved.  I hate that I can't eat what I want and that the rest of my family can.  I'm embarrassed that I feel this way.  I thought it would be no big deal but it is, I never realized the power food has over me.  My family is here for the holidays and my dad seriously just asked if I wanted to go to a barbecue place with him and watch him eat!!!  My dog is sick and will be put down on Monday and I'm having a really crappy time.  Good lord, I read this and hear myself and think I am a total loser. 

I did the surgery to live longer.  I read somewhere that morbid obesity can cut up to 14 years off your life and I want those years. I guess I can't have it both ways and I will have to learn to deal with this.

Everyone here is so positive and upbeat and I'm glad i found this site but can someone, anyone tell me they've had these feelings before?  Yes, I have a therapist and yes I'm working through this but at this moment, I really hate what I did.  

Hang in there. I am not sure how far you are out, and assume that you are still in the weight loss phase. BBQ can be in your future, as any other food for the most part. You will also be able to eat a very small portion of it and feel just as satisfied as those former crazy sized portions. This will pass. You are having a rough patch, but you will at some point further along in the process be able to look back and say it was all really, really worth it.

Thanks, I hate rough patches but nothing to do but batten down the hatches and carry on:)  I appreciate your support.

WLS is not "the easy way" as so many people think.  You've been through the miserable pre-op and post-op liquid stage, and you just started on pureed food.  It is a big adjustment.  As you're able to add solid food, things will be better.  But it still is a whole new way of life.  I enjoy the food I prepare, because I'm trying to make the effort to try recipes and not eat the same plain chicken and plain fish.  But I have to admit, there are times when I just wish I could eat like I did in the "old days" - just grab what I want, when I want.  But when I look at the big picture, I know I made the right choice.  Because the quality of my life has improved greatly.

I hope things look up for you as you progress.  Check out Eggface's site - maybe you'll see some recipes you can enjoy.

Good luck.

Boy are you right about WLS not being the easy way out.  I think I just want to feel normal.  It will come.  I appreciate your encouragement.

What helped me is to look at social gatherings or going out to dinner as being about the people you are with and not the food you can or cannot eat.

I'm only 2.5 weeks out and believe me, I have questioned my decision to do this a hundred times.  Just yesterday, trying to find something, anything, that I could eat and not feel so sick...ended up going back to protein shakes...I finally verbalized to my mom "You know, I think I'm starting to regret this" and her answer to me was "Well you can't go back now.  Make the best of it.  Anyway, you will feel better after another 2 or 3 weeks when you can eat normally." She's right.  I sat down, closed my eyes, and imagined myself thinner, lighter, healthier and looking good.  That made me realize that a little tummy ache is not such a bad exchange for all that.  Then I reminded myself that it's still early and by another 2.5 weeks I will probably be able to tolerate a lot of different foods.  In the meantime, I told myself, if protein shakes are the only thing that I can really take in without feeling so yucky, then I will just drink protein shakes!  So what? 

So if your family eating in front of you is bothering you, then just excuse yourself from the table while they're eating and stay busy until they're done.  Or if you're far out enough to eat regular food, then take like 1 teaspoon of whatever junk you're craving and eat it- it probably won't taste nearly as good as you remember.  Most people say that.  I myself find that things I used to love (I'm allowed soft foods now)- they don't taste nearly as good as I remember.

Best of luck to you!

Thanks, this helps a lot.  One day, this will be a distant memory:)

I think a lot of people have the what have I done to myself feeling b4, the head thing is a big adjustment too & it can hit you like a freight train when you least expect it. You're just going thru a rough patch right now & things do get better. You'll still be able to eat bbq again, just not in the amounts you ate b4 & pops inviting you to watch him eat is so not a supportive thing to do, but he might not know how to support you either. If you know what you need then tell them! People can be so dense sometimes!

Sure I've had times where I miss not being able to eat like I used to, but then I think do I want to go back to my old weight? No way!, & yeah I can't stuff down my feelings anymore, I actually have to face them, ooh new way of behaving now, still working on that. I still love my sweets, but I've cut back so much on them & I never thought I could cut back so much & still not feel deprived.

So sorry about your dog, I know I cried like a baby when I had to put down my cat, but that was years ago.

Things will get better & hopefully you'll learn to luv your sleeve, I'm not at the luv my sleeve stage, but I got a serious like going on! Best wishes to you. 

I think I'll learn to like my sleeve - love may be a stretch:).  Thanks so much for your kind words.