Need Advice & Guidance - New to the group

on 1/1/18 4:44 pm - White Plains, NY

Hi everyone,

I found this forum a few days ago and have been reading all the posts religiously. As far as surgery goes...I met with my local WLS VSG coordinator in august. I've been seeing a nutritionist for the past 2-3 months and will be scheduling the necessary appointments that are left to continue onto the next step for surgery.

I wanted to post here because I'm feeling really lost and a little hopeless and wanted to see if anyone had any insight/advice. Im 20 years old, and I've been overweight my entire life.. Ive seen nutritionists as young as 7 or 8 years old. I am constantly trying to lose weight. Every couple weeks/months I say to myself "this is it! I'm doing it" and i can NEVER follow through. I struggle with depression and between that and my weight it is like a constantly cycle of never being able to stay motivated. I know people say to get your depression under control before you can tackle the weight.. but i just can't. Im depressed, but I'm also depressed because of my weight. And I'm over weight because of my depression and its like a hamster wheel.

Has anyone else dealt with this? Im sure lots of people have but could you maybe share your story? I know that the surgery is the right step for me. Its my only option. But i want to know if anyone has been like me? Where they constantly want to lose the weight but can never follow through? I know people say you won't lose it until you really want to.. but i do..

Gwen M.
on 1/1/18 5:14 pm
VSG on 03/13/14

I think that you're not alone.

Could I have lost weight without the surgery and kept it off? Maybe... but I didn't. I feel like surgery gave me the space I needed to work on the mental side of the equation. Surgery took care of the physical part for me (i.e., stomach size) but it wasn't until then that I started working on the mental part. I started seeing a therapist a few months prior to WLS and then, when my previously undiagnosed Binge Eating Disorder came back in full force two years post-op, I sought diagnosis and treatment for that as well. Surgery was the motivator I needed to get the mental stuff under control. Maybe because surgery felt like such a drastic thing to do only to screw up by not getting my brain in order? Getting cut open was definitely a strong push toward tackling my mental health :D

So.. yeah. I don't think you're alone.

Don't expect surgery to "cure" your depression or your loss of motivation, since it won't. All it will do is change your anatomy. However, you can use that time when weight loss is easy in the beginning to start the work of addressing those things so that you'll be set up for long term success!

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Plastics with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL&brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL&mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 40 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

Check out my TrendWeight

on 1/1/18 6:33 pm
RNY on 07/23/14

Surgery is by no means a magic wand, but for the first time in my life I am a normal weight, and have the hope of keeping it off. It has given me hope.

It is your new life. We don't get the luxury of not focusing on it. It won't solve all your problems, but it does make life easier in many ways. Do you still have to deal with your stuff? Yes. Do you have to do it all before surgery? No. But you do have to do it.

Cynthia 5'11" RNY 7/23/2014

Maintaining a 220lb Weight Loss
Plastic Surgery Dr. Joseph Michaels - LBL and Hernia Repair 2/29/16, Arm Lift, BL, 5/2/16, Leg Lift 7/25/16

Need to get back to Basics? The Five Day Meat Test



on 1/1/18 7:38 pm
VSG on 05/20/14

If you are here, you are already taking steps to own your depression, weight, and on the path to success.

I admitted I needed the help of VSG to get my journey towards health started, including depression. After years of living under #200 I felt horrible at 250, and horrible at 300, and felt I couldn't do it on my own after living for years above #400. I was amazing at how wonderful it felt when I got down to 350 and then to 300. I couldn't imagine how I could so bad about myself on the way up and so good on the way down when the weights were the same.

To me it proves that it's our mindset, self worth, and how we view ourselves that determine our happiness, not our weight. I kept seeing my therapist after surgery for about 18 months. When I stopped, my old habits, old ways of thinking crept back in. For about 6 months I've been trying to turn around the train using lessons from my past and the support of others. I'm back here to again be around the support, advice, and encouragement of others.

5'10" Male : Consult Weight 428 1/16/14 : Pre-op m1 -3, m2 -12, m3 0, m4 -27 : SW 386 : m1 -25, m2 -22 m3 -15 4 -12: LW 278 CW 320 : Total Loss 108

on 1/2/18 7:46 am - Arlington, TX
VSG on 08/17/16

Check my blog post in my signature for an abbreviated version of my story (Easy Way Out), and what I have to say to the nay-sayers.

Short version, yes, I felt exactly like you. My life looks completely different now than it did before surgery. I still have chronic health problems, but they're doing better because they're not exacerbated by obesity.

I do suggest that you find a therapist, preferably someone who specializes in eating disorders and body image issues. My only caveat to that is sometimes they're against WLS. But there are therapists out there who have the eating disorder experience who understand WLS is sometimes the best option health-wise. I couldn't have made it as far as I have without my therapist. Surgery doesn't fix your head. :)

Best of luck!!

* 8/16/2017 - ONEDERLAND!! *

HW 306 - SW 297 - GW 175 - Surg VSG with Melanie Hafford on 8/17/2016

My blog at or follow on Facebook TheAntiChick

Blog Posts - The Easy Way Out // Cheating on Post-Op Diet

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