LisaK/ UnstapledLisa
i'm done...
Dec 11, 2010
So last Wednesday I had the picc put in, Thursday, my surgeons office calls to say they will schedule me for 1 infusion but that it's up to my primary care physician to order future infusions where she is based out of, where they know where she is and the fact I don't drive, I can't anymore cause of health reasons and my pcp is 45 MILES AWAY.Problem is at this point, while I adore my surgeon, we have antoganized each other by him being passive aggressive,condescending and finally fed up with me, and I in return give him my self righteous indignant attitude it's not working for me anymore, or him. I got so mad after my endoscopy, which I told him before I still feel acutely ill, and that I can't stand literally, and or bear feeling this way anymore. It would be one thing to let him off the hook, if my reversal actually worked, I am actually sicker now then I have ever been other then my abdominal pain which has been severe at times, hasn't been as severe constant as it was this summer.I am still malabsorbing medications and nutrients. My problem for me is I have compliance issues. I am not drinking battery acid though,to create new complications and worse pain.
After my endoscopy which he said to come back for another one in 6 weeks because I had a small ulcer that needed to be biopsied (not worried about biopsy) I didn't say much but I knew I had it. I am sorry at this point I didn't tell him off. What I did do was get so anxiety ridden that I couldn't stay at the hospital much longer. I realize that the anxiety that going to that hospital,dealing with ER staff, the way they treat me, I can't bear it anymore. I ran into him an hour later and just said I wanted picc line removed and I was done that I couldn't take it anymore, which he is so sick of me, he just had his assistant arrange an order just for the removal and I left. I can understand I have an attitude problem, and I don't put up with crap from anybody, I also freely admit I am a huge pain in the azz to treat as I am blunt and wordy and can be cynical, but I have seen too much from interactions with nursing staff, and other patients with complications to know this isn't just in my head and my problems are not all my fault.When I am at home, I pretty much am either sitting down or lying down, I can't do anything else 90% of my time.
I don't think I have it in me anymore to start all over again with a new hospital system, new doctors, etc. My pcp has been so put upon to fix things that should have been my surgeons from the start I don't feel comfortable seeing her anymore either...
I am not catastrophically ill, their shouldn't be such a reduction in my quality of life, but this has gotten so ugly, that physically and emotionally I am a wreck, that while I won't do anything to hurt myself further, I have feeling that the only way I am gonna get diagnosed is via autopsy...
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About Me
plymouth, MN
Location
28.2
BMI
Surgery
12/05/2001
Surgery Date
Oct 20, 2001
Member Since
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
10-16-2009 8 years post rny, SUPER SICK but still after almost gaining all my weight back
10-16-2016 almost 15 years post rny/6+ years post reversal -70 lbs from heaviest...
