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There truely is a transformation happening inside me.  I guess it is happening externally too...but I feel it most on the inside.  I no longer feel hopeless...I feel the true me starting to emerge again, and it is a wonderful, exciting feeling.  
For my birthday, which just past, June 13th, I got a book from the pups as a present.  It is "The Secret".  Now, anyone out there in cyberland, who isn't familiar with it...It is all about the law of attraction.  It is a quick read...but one that I whole heartedly reccommend.  There is nothing more wonderful than waking up, and being greatful for all that I have.  The possiblilities are endless in what I can achieve.  Ah, for the power of positive thinking!!!
I am making it my mantra to thank the universe several times throughout the day for all that I have...Great love in my life, a nice home, a good vehicle that wont leave me stranded, improved health, healthy family, healthy pets, a good relationship with my Mom, great friends, a great job...so many things I have.  It's funny, when you focus on all you do have, you tend to forget, or at least not worry about what you don't.  I am also practicing not worrying about money.  I truely believe that it will come...I will be debt free, there will come a day when I will be able to help my children with their futures.  I will be able to see my husband retire, relax and enjoy his life. I see him golfing everyday.  I see BBQ's at the lake house, living in Victoria again...Spending time with my granddaughter, and friends, and relatives.  I really see it in my mind....I have faith that it will happen.  I know in my soul it will happen.  What a wonderful life I live!

Stepped on the scale this morning and it was reading 199.  I am thrilled.  It is all downhill from here...and that is a good thing.  Yesterday we went for a father's day brunch with the rest of the family...One cousin commented that my hair looked really good...This I chalk up to noticing something different, but not really sure what it is.  Another cousin said that she could see I was losing weight...So, I am happy.  
Everytime I see Mom she is in awe of how I am doing...although I am not sure she believes me when I tell her the scale hasn't been moving as fast as she thinks it has...She tells me how proud of me she is...It is an awesome feeling.
I have another month before we go on holidays to see the rest of the family on the island...I am excited about this too...Maybe, just maybe I will be wearing a size 12...That would be just excellent.
I got some gift cards for my birthday...I am going to save them for a while.  
This week I am starting my resistant bands...That should help with the horrid back fat...I would be very pleased if I could get my upper body toned and not have that gawd aweful roll where my bra sits.  I will work hard at it.

I went to Salvation Army shopping this week...I bought a few outfits, size 14 and they fit...I got a really pretty mauve skirt, and can't wait to wear it when Ray comes home.  I also got another jean skirt, and a pair of navy dress pants to wear to work.  
I returned to work yesterday and lots of people commented on how good I looked...not everyone knowing I had the surgery...and not everyone noticing my weightloss...but all saying that my holiday must have been good for me because I looked so good.
My body is still hanging above 200 lbs.  I knew it would...Just continuing downward is not in the cards for me...but I will be down below 200 before my 3 month check in.  Today is my 2 month surgerversary.  
I am still suffering with depression issues...I was thinking that my depression would lessen as I lost weight...but it is a battle I will have for the rest of my life I guess.
Yesterday was a big eating day...I don't have them very often anymore, but yesterday I just couldn't stop eating...maybe because I was tired from working.  Today, so far...I have no desire to eat at all...I will, because I need to, but I really could just leave it.
I have to go for my annual mamogram today....boobs are getting so loose that it probably wont even hurt, LOL.  One day I will have a nice set...in about a year or so.

I am very pleased to see the scale continuing to move.   I was up half a pound today from yesterday, but I do expect that it is going to bounce around a bit.  Bouncing half a pound is normal, and I am okay with it...but still....I can not wait to see the scale get me into onederland....I hope to get there by the end of the week, but I also know that I can't expect it, as I could stall again at anytime.
My exersize for the weekend consisted of doing the garden...a job I hate.  I would rather be doing anything else...but if I don't do it, then I am one of very few houses on the block that look like shit, and I don't want to be that person.  So, this year I put down some landscape sheets hoping that the weeds wont come through it as bad as last year.  Didn't purchase a lot of annuals...but thankgoodness I don't have a very big garden so it should be fairly easy to maintain.  
The weather sucks today...Rainy, gloomy...Yucky...but the sun is shining in my head.  
Getting on the treadmill today for an hour.  I have to get into the doctor within the next couple of days to get my "back to work" note.  I wish I didn't have to go back...but the extra little bit of money keeps me through the month.