BlaqueBerry918
STILL PHENOMENAL... BUT I AM PHAT AGAIN!!!!
Nov 03, 2010
Hello!It's me again! I decided I needed to come back and use this board as my therapy. For so many reasons, I have not been here - lets just say that LIFE has taken over. As you can see, I am FAT again. I have gained all my weight back. Its been a trying year and a half. In September 2009, I got sick and couldn't keep anything down. I had to have my band deflated... At that time it was all DOWN hill from there. There was no coming back. I was deflated for about 5 months. I went back to my doctor who at the time started doing my fills/adjustments. He kept telling me that I need to make sure I am watching my food intake and staying away from sugars and all that jazz... Blah Blah Blah... I know all of this. Please know that I am going to continue doing what I was doing to get me to this point. However I am not LOSING any weight. So I kept going back and doing what I was supposed to be doing. The fills were not lasting and I felt as if he wasn't giving me enough to be tight and stay tight. After months of being made to think I was doing something WRONG - I finally decided to stop going! So I tried to do this on my own. Thinking - MAYBE... Just Maybe I was doing something wrong. I practically went on a Liquid diet - did I drop... sure but that was PURE torture... I hated every skinny person that I saw! Then I found myself hungry ALL the time. Every time you looked at me, I was putting something in my mouth. LOL. So I asked around and talked to a few people who gave me their advice and referred me to their doctors. I ended up with Dr. Wade Barker... Not sure how to feel about that!
I have been to Dr. Barker for 4 months. I have only seen him 1 time for about 8 minutes. The first time I went to have him begin to monitor and adjust my band, I didn't see him. I saw someone named John or Tim or whoever... Well they told me that my band had slipped. I said no - the last doctor told me I was tight. Well I was tight. My band was full! However, the band had slipped to the bottom half of my stomach which allowed me to take as much in as possible. So I was getting fills, VERY LITTLE... because as the intake would move thru the stomach, I would ALWAYS be hungry. So here we go... deflate again! Starting over. That was when i saw Dr. Barker... WHY?? Because the guy who does the adjustments couldn't get the damn needle in my port! He dug in my like I was a DAMN Grave! So Dr. Barker came in and completed it quickly I go back 4 weeks later to see if the band has repositioned and guess what - It did... I am well on my way! I can see it now.... Me back in a size 8 and holding on to all those clothes would not be in vain! I started feeling good and jump starting my mental psyche... Staying motivated and all that! PBBT... Yeah right! Little did I know what when I returned... the band slipped again. That was the day I said - NOPE!! I AM DONE! No more fills no more adjustments., no more liquids... I give up! I told them I have no more energy for these constant monthly adjustments, I have no room in my heart for another let down. I want to be considered for something else!
Today, I am one evaluation from submitting my info to the insurance company for the Gastric Sleeve. I have been told if you are gonna do it... Do it BIG!! Well I am afraid of the Bypass. Quite frankly not sure if the insurance will pay for that. I am not heavy enough. YEAH RIGHT... At any rate, I have gone to Dr. Barker and it seems as if the approval process is going to be smooth sailing. However, I don't have that FO-SHO feeling about my doctor. When I had my lap band - the office feel the staff and the vibe I got from Dr, Adams, was amazing. It just felt right! I don't get that from Dr. B! I feel like a COW - just going thru the process. So at this point, I have decided to just wait. I will continue with the approval process, and let them do what they do - however, I still reserve the right to switch my doctor @ anytime!
So here I am - 248lbs - no where to go. no answers... Just lost in emotions!
Stay tuned... I know greater days are ahead but not sure I can really see the light!
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About Me
TX
Location
37.1
BMI
Surgery
05/23/2011
Surgery Date
Jan 29, 2007
Member Since